The Saturday Ritual

Rituals are an important aspect of life. More than routine, rituals often offer a sense of comfort, familiarity, and mark important passages of time. Over the past few months while Rich has been gone, TJ and I have developed a special Saturday morning ritual: our weekly trip to Hyde's Diner.

How lucky are we that our house is literally 300 steps away from a good, mom and pop greasy-spoon diner? We love it. Its on the corner of our cross street and is built from a single wide trailer and an addition to accommodate the kitchen. It is truly Americana at its best. I am not a big coffee drinker, but Rich will even attest to the fact that the coffee is strong and diner quality "bad"-- whatever that means.

Our family would frequent this diner before Rich's deployment. We know the waitresses. We know the owner. We'd recognize the faces of other patrons. But now, with TJ in tow every Saturday, I can say that I feel like a "regular" and a new sense of community has developed as a result.

Our waitress is usually a young woman by the name of Jessica. She has two children herself, so we often compare notes and cute stories about our children over the week. Without asking, she knows to bring me a diet soda, a small cup of water for TJ, and to bring out the toast as soon as it is ready. TJ and I share our usual breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage. I eat the pancakes, and believe it or not, TJ usually eats everything else. Man, this kid sure can wolf down his sausage links. He loves 'em.

The owner stops by our table gives TJ a high five and always remarks on how well behaved he is. Another waitress who has a nephew in Afghanistan makes sure to pop by and ask what the latest is from Rich. We both share our count down dates until our loved ones are home. We then shake our heads and both say, "not soon enough."

Every other week there is a "girls morning out" table of middle-aged women. Apparently they get together every so often on Saturdays to dish the latest dirt on their neighbors, share stories about their kids, and complain about their husbands. Cortland's own "Desperate Housewives". If I have the option, I will take an open table next to them just so that I can eeves drop! But more than just listen in, I am also starting to interact more with the other patrons as we start to see the same people week in and week out. They usually comment about TJ (he is an easy conversation starter) and we go from there.

TJ feels right at home at Hyde's. He gets oodles of attention, has great food, and has even ventured back to the kitchen to blow a kiss to the short order cook in appreciation. I think he is well on his way to being a diner regular in his adult life too.

I appreciate this sense of community while Rich is away. It is something I look forward to. It is nice to feel connected in my neighborhood-- even if the conversation is full of small talk. Coming every week helps me appreciate the small town nature of Cortland. And it has also been a way to mark the completion of yet another week on our own.

Thank you, Hyde's for sharing your Saturday mornings with TJ and I. We look forward to seeing you in a couple of days!

Travel, Thanksgiving, Weddings and Basketball

TJ is a bi-coastal traveler. In the last 12 days he has boarded 6 different planes, rode on 5 different shuttles, slept in 5 different cribs, and explored various nooks and crannies of 4 different airports. And through it all TJ was a trooper. I could not have hoped for a better traveling companion.

This Thanksgiving TJ and I went to Nashville first to meet his Great Uncle Bob and Great Aunt Janet, hang out with Grandma and then travel to San Francisco to be a part of the Barnett-Raijmara wedding. Sure it was exhausting, but with TJ being such an extrovert, he loved meeting so many people and getting so much attention.

One of his favorite parts about Nashville was playing with all of the musical toys at the McKeown's house. You know those "press my foot or hand and I will move, dance, and sing" toys? Uncle Bob and Aunt Janet have over eight of them. TJ learned how to operate each one and to dance along. Of course he also liked hanging out with their pet bird, Valentine, who by the way has free reign to hop out of his cage and walk all over the dinner table during meal time. What a sight.

The long flights back and forth to California went very well. He did a good job of napping and reading books with mommy. I found it particular that he actually preferred to sit in his own seat than on mommy's lap (yes, I did get him is own seat so we could strap the car seat in-- good move). He LOVED looking out the window when we were still at the airport to look at the other planes and all the little cars and luggage trains driving around. He would get so excited. During stretch breaks when we would walk up and down the aisle of the plane he would blow kisses to everyone who smiled at him. And yes, he stole many hearts while flying. "Is he always that happy?" people would ask. I had the great opportunity to brag and say, "yes, and I feel very blessed."

I am so thankful that TJ got to spend a good deal of time with his Grandma. I think they really hit it off. It was fun to see TJ run up to Grandma and give her hugs around the legs. I really counted on my mom to help with the travel and play fill in parent when I was busy with wedding stuff. Thanks, mom. I appreciate all the help.

Thanksgiving involved a good nap, a good meal, and good company. Isn't that what the day is all about? We joined the Raijmara and Barnett clan had had our Thanksgiving dinner at a local restaurant. It was nice not to worry about the cooking with so many other things going on. TJ had some turkey, but turned his nose up to the mashed potatoes and the pumpkin pie (thats my boy!).

TJ also got to dress up and go to his first wedding. He was able to be there for the start of the ceremony and apparently wanted to run down the aisle after the bride. Grandma held him back. He was able to run around on the lawn with all the other kids during cocktail hour. He sat through the entire reception without a care. He even had his first official dance with his mommy. He was an excellent dance partner.

And to conclude our adventures, the first night we got home we were able to go to the Syracuse vs. Cornell basketball game in the Carrier Dome in Syracuse. We had third row seats. Man, I could see the sweat fall off of the players faces, we were that close. How excited was I to share my love of college hoops with my son in this way. He would clap when everyone around him clapped. He even ate the standard stadium hot dog. TJ's first basketball game was a good one.

How wonderful that I have such an easy going, good natured child. It makes adventures such as the one we just had much easier. He makes me laugh, smile, and count my blessings each and every day.

The little things

TJ is now 17 months. Goodness time flies. He is at such a fun stage in his development. Fully mobile, communicates (still with signs and grunts only), and has such a curious and fun-loving disposition. He is a great little boy. When I get to spend the whole weekend with him, I am reminded of just how blessed we are to have such a good natured child. Don't get me wrong. . .he is 100% boy. But you can already tell he has a good spirit about him.

Here is a sampling of some of the little things he does that make me gush with pride, and smile at his little mind at work.

1) TJ is a good organizer and clean-upper of his toys. I think my clean-freakiness has rubbed off on him a bit, because TJ is great about cleaning up his toys. He also knows right where they go on the shelf. As a matter of fact once he put his little wood puzzle together the other day, he picked it right up and moved it to the shelf where we store it out of the way. I guess he was done playing the puzzle game.

2) Part of our morning ritual is a little cuddle, bottle, and juice time on mommy and daddy's bed. As he drinks his milk and mommy drinks her juice, we watch the Today Show. What cracks me up is that he now waves to all of those people that stand outside the Today Show studio with the signs and wave like crazy. Well, TJ waves like crazy right back at them.

3) I have really tried to avoid t.v. for the first year and a half of his life. Yeah, I know, I just told you that we watch the Today Show, but that has been the exception, until now. I found Noggin on our cable lineup and was thrilled to see one of my favorite kids shows, Blues Clues, regularly scheduled. And I mean the old-school episodes with Steve, pre-Joe, pre-Magenta and Perewinkle. TJ is enthralled. I guess I can let him watch 20 minutes of Blues Clues once a day. Especially if he does the "we just got a letter" dance with his mama.

4) TJ treats snack time seriously. In fact, TJ gets so excited that he takes a handful of goldfish (or whatever is for snack) and tries to shove all of them into his mouth at the same time. It used to be that he would very gingerly eat one goldfish/cheerio at a time. Not any more. He grabs two fist fulls and attempts to get as many as he can into his mouth. Then he takes for ever to chew. But when he is done, he goes after more.

5) TJs giggles. What more can I say. I love the sound of his laughs. Especially when he really gets going. There is nothing in the world quite like hearing and watching your own child laugh in pure delight and to know that you did or are doing something that got him to express such happiness.

6) The lights in TJs room has one of those dimmer dials that slowly turns the lights off. I get a kick out of watching TJ when he is in my arms at bed time and I turn off the lights. I do it slowly because he watches the lights go out with such fascination. It is the last real good look I get of TJ for the day. . . and it is a great one to capture in my minds eye. A great way to end the day.

7) TJ has gotten to be really good at blowing kisses. He does it to everyone passing by. It is really heart warming. . . . just take a look at the video below. What's not to love about this boy?

Publish Post

Family Portrait

Here it is: the picture that is going to get us through the year. The family shot. Pretty good of all of us. We each have our smiles, each have a glimmer in our eyes. It captures a moment of happiness. Contentment. Peace before the storm. But-- if you ask me, the most important thing about this photo is that we are all together. . . one last time. This is the image that I am going to hold on to. This is the photo that will be all over the house, in our Christmas cards, and in Daddy's first care package.

Why the melodrama? Well, Rich is now on the other side of the world and I feel like his deployment officially started today. His first "real" day away-- or at least out of the country and out of phone's reach. I know we will talk often enough, but it is different knowing I can't just pick up the phone and leave him a voice mail. And to top it off, this first "real" day away is also our third wedding anniversary. Cue the violins.

But before he left, we did have five wonderful days together. We were a family all under one roof. We did yard work. We cooked on the grill. We went to a football game. We went to church. We went running. We went to the grocery store. Rich did the dishes. TJ and daddy read lots and lots of books. Sam played in the back yard with Poly. It was as normal as normal could be. And it was wonderful. I could not have asked for more of a weekend because we even got the perfect picture out of it. No studios No professional photographer. Just life at its best.

Happy anniversary, Rich.

Bad Habits

Okay, so I will admit it: my son farts and we all (the family) laugh. It has become a knee jerk reaction. TJ makes a noise with his bottom. He immediately smiles and giggles a bit. How can I not help but to crack a smile? I recognize that this behavior will need to stop and he will need to learn that farting in public is not so funny, but sneaking a fart in private can still be done (just ask dad).

But farts are apparently just the beginning. My son has found two holes on his face where fingers fit just perfectly. Yep. I am talking about the nose. TJ has started putting his fingers up his nose. . . and leaving them there. Perhaps his little fingers stay warmer up there? I am not quite sure what the fascination is, but regardless, I need to start being a parent and educate my child that nose picking, while sometimes helpful, is never, ever funny and it is just not done.

No farts, no nose picking. I have a feeling that I will need to put the kibosh on burping next (just ask Samantha).

Mommy's Little Helper

"TJ, can you throw this away for Mommy?" He takes the wad of tissue that I used to wipe his nose from my hand and heads to the trash can. He opens the cabinet door, throws the tissue in there, closes the door and walks back to me.

"TJ, lets go into the bathroom and brush our teeth." He gets up from reading his bedtime story and waddles over to the bathroom where I hand him his tooth brush. He sits down and proceeds to suck on the toothbrush. "TJ, show Mommy how you can brush back and forth." He complies.

TJ understands the English language. Not only does he understand what mommy is saying, he is actually doing what I ask of him. AMAZING.

I am really liking this stage. . . a lot. And I recognize I need to savor the moments now, while they last, because once TJ learns how to say and use the word "NO!" things are gonna change.

Slides, Trucks, and Fetch

TJ loves being outside. He loves the sidewalk. Gosh, he could walk up and down the sidewalk with his push toy all day long if he had his way. He also is learning to enjoy the backyard.

Recently we inherited a little tykes play tower with a slide from a colleague of mine. It is perfect for TJ as he develops physically and explores what he can and can't do with his body. He loves sitting on the top platform with the sides all around. It is almost as if he has his own little club house elevated off of the ground. Sometimes he will take his book or his sippy cup up there and hang out for minutes on end (and for TJ minutes is a long time).

Over the course of the week he has learned how to go down the slide all by himself. He does pretty well with it too. Of course when he first started he was trying to go down the slide head first. My, he has come a long way. Also during this past week he has learned that his toy truck can go down the slide all by itself too. AND MAN DOES IT TAKE AIR! TJ thinks this is the funniest thing ever. Mom thinks it is a hoot when he laughs.

And finally, the other favorite thing TJ likes to do in the back yard is play fetch with our dog, Poly. I think TJ thinks this is pretty cool because Poly-- like TJ-- is willing to do the same thing over and over and over again. TJ will "throw" the ball and with out fail, Poly will run to get it and bring it back again and again and again. They are best friends now, cause neither of them tire of this game. TJ feels a bit more safe playing fetch when he is on the top of his club house or in his swing when he knows Poly can't jump and grab the ball out of his hand. TJ has even started rolling the ball down the slide for Poly to chase.

As the daylight gets shorter and the weather gets a little colder, we are still in our backyard trying to make the most of it before winter sets in. But man, think of the fun we will have landing in a pile of fluffy white snow.

He Who Knows No Shame

Its moments like this one that just make me want to laugh. Moments that I want to file away and remember 25 years from now. Moments that I will want to share with T.J. and anyone else who will listen. . . so I record them here for you and I to read today and for all of us to remember later.

Today was just like any other day. I came home at 5:00 pm. Things were quiet in the house. I thought to myself that TJ and Olga were on a walk. Sometimes they get sidetracked and come home a little after 5:00. No problem. I now have an opportunity to change and go through the mail before they arrive.

Nope. Not on a walk. The stroller is right there in plain sight. Okay then. They must be in the back yard. Why don't I walk around the house and go through the side gate and surprise them. That will be fun.

Well. I guess I was the one that was taken by surprise. There was my little boy-- in all his glory-- nude. Naked as a jay bird. Playing in the pool. Big smile on his face. Having the time of his life. When he saw me, he got even more excited and started running in my direction. Oh what a sight, my little naked baby! I know that Olga has a tendency to resist using the diapers made especially for swimming. "He doesn't need." she says in her broken English. Now I had a better understanding why he didn't need the swim diapers.

But the best part of the whole situation was that my little boy, while he was naked, was snacking on an apple. Naked. Apple. What great irony. So as he ran into my arms, I said to him-- loud enough for Olga to hear, "Well hello, my little Adam. I see that you have eaten the forbidden fruit, but where is your fig leaf? Have you no shame?"

Yes, my little boy does not know the meaning of shame. And for now, perhaps that is a good thing. . . . so long as it stays in the back yard! :)

"No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed"

Five Little Monkeys has quickly become TJ's favorite bedtime story. He got the book for his birthday from his Aunt Linda and family (a huge shout out to her for the present).

It all started a month ago when Daddy started his story time routine with TJ at bed time. Rich is an animated reader and always makes story time fun with his many voices and expressions. And if you know the Five Little Monkeys storyline, you know that, with the right reader, it can be rather amusing. TJ would sit on Daddy's lap and have him read the book over and over. The part that brought the most giggles was when daddy would "BONK" his head with his hand as the monkey in the story fell.

TJ has read the story so many times that he is now internalizing some of the monkeys'-- and daddy's-- behavior. TJ now bonks his head for sheer delight. And he things it is a hoot. He will use his hand like daddy does, but the other day he learned what a real BONK was. Ouch! I thought, that has got to hurt. Yet TJ shook it off as best he could and when he was of better sorts, believe it or not, he bonked his head with his hand as if to make the association. He gets it! This little guy is putting two and two together. I was amazed. But what tickles me even more about this story is that now, every time he walks by the corner of the table, he points to the corner and makes a wide berth around it. I guess he does not want that kind of bonk on the head again.

Here is hoping he will not now want to jump on the bed!

Missing Daddy

Wow! Where did the time go? Our last post was all of our vacation photos with no explanation, no stories, and know sharing of our big news. . . . TJ IS A WALKER!

Yep. We wrote before that he took his first steps on the 4th of July, but it was not until he was at Grandmas until he really started moving. I think he wanted to wait and share this special moment with his Grandmother and run all over her enormous living room. It was amazing to watch. When TJ finally got going he was so proud of himself. He would get this big. huge smile as if to say, "Hey, everyone, look what I can do. I am so cool!"

He started off with the "Frankenstein walk". You know. . . hands out in front. . . . teetering back and forth. But now, he is successfully walking/running and even holding things in his hand. It has been wonderful to watch him accomplish this milestone. . . scraped knees and all.

Now the big news in our family is that Rich has left for Fort Dix, New Jersey: the first stop in his deployment to Iraq. I am sad but also curious to see how TJ adjusts to the day to day life without dad. He has been such a daddy's boy. He gave his first smile to dad. His first bought of laughter was to his dad. And even his first word was "da-da". It is so clear to see how much he loves and enjoys time with his father when you watch the two of them together.

Before Rich left, we recorded Dad reading some bed time stories on our video camera. Our hope is that TJ can still be read to at night by his daddy, even though he is far, far away. The other project I will be working on is making a story book for TJ about his daddy so that he can constantly see pictures of Rich and be reminded of him as much as possible.

Rich will be greatly missed this year. But we will all do our best to make sure that he is far from forgotten.

More Postcards

Hey everyone,

Here are more pictures from Florida until we can get up the gumption to write actual entries!

Grandma, TJ, dad, and Bobby wait for the boat after dinner in Downtown Disney.
Can anyone guess where this is?
Mommy puts TJ behind the wheel on the Homosassa River.

Daddy gets a kiss on the Gulf of Mexico.

Just being Goofy.

ttfn

Postcards

Dear family and friends,

We are on vacation - road tripping down the east coast. We'll write more later but for now here are some pictures to share.

Sam and Kira arrive at Camp

Dad introduces TJ to Myrtle Beach, SC

TJ learns a new word - share - with Chad

Mommy and TJ check out the alligators at the Homasassa Wildlife Park

TJ, dad, and Grandma explore the Blue Hole

TJ and mommy play in the sand on the Gulf of Mexico

Tales of our adventures and escapades will be posted eventually! We're only half way there!

4th of July Special Celebration (Part II of II)

The summer is the time for cook outs, pools, and fireworks. Growing up in my family in Orange County, NY, the summers meant something else on Saturday nights - stock car racing. It's been twenty years since I went but on Saturday night Lisa, TJ, Andy and I went to the races.

Easily dismissed as a dirty, red neck, NASCAR wanna-be sport, dirt track racing is a fun family event and something I grew up with for half of my life. Every Saturday my dad would load twenty fire extinguishers into the back of his Monroe Lumber Chevy pick up truck, check the glove compartment for the red emergency light and drive to the Orange County Fair Speedway in Middletown, NY. He spent the night sitting in the first turn until there was the inevitable wreck and out he'd roll with his other racing buddies and assist the driver and wrecker crews to get the races started again..

Dad would tell you that he had a part time job driving the safety truck when in reality he was just a glorified fan who paired up his firefighting skills with his love of racing for the best seat in the house.

Orange County Fair Speedway is a 5/8th mile, hard clay track built for open wheeled stock cars. The track sits on the same piece of prime real estate that hosts the Orange County Fair every year. The track dries out enough during the races that dust flies up as the cars go by and then gets into everything - clothes, hair, teeth, food. Okay - so the sport is dirty.

When I an infant my mom would bring me to the races to visit dad. When I was about Samantha's age I started going with dad to the races. This was a BIG deal. First, dad would take me to McDonald's. This was in the late 1970's when there was only two McD's in the whole county. I'd get my cheeseburger and fries and wait until we got to the track before being allowed to eat. Dad would always drive through the pits, stopping to talk to everyone; drivers, officials, crew. Dad was a social butterfly. Just before warm ups we'd find ourselves backed into turn one, behind the wall, waiting.

It wasn't a free ride. My job was to plug in the red light when we rolled out. As I got older I got to ride on the back of the truck and hand out fire extinguishers. When I was 16 I got a job there working security. When I was a kid, mom came and took me home before it got too late. When I worked there - as eventually Andy did - we'd all come home after midnight, covered in dust and dirt.

Going back two decades from my last visit very little has changed. The drive in is full of tailgaters; families who make a night of it. The grand stands, the dirt, the smell of the food is all the same. It was a time warp.

The first time the cars barreled down the front stretch at over 100mph TJ shook and was intimidated. The sound shakes you and drowns out any other noise (the video below is nothing). By the end of the night he was looking for the cars and watching them break into the turns. He pointed with anticipation.

For some reason taking him to the races was a big deal to me. Something I can't even quite describe. I took TJ because it is was part of me, part of his grandfather. TJ ate the same dirt that I did as a boy, the same dirt his grandfather ate for 25+ years. I connected TJ with his name sake the only way I knew how.

4th of July Special Celebration (Part I of II)

The fourth of July marks the day in our nation's history where we-- as Americans-- take pause to celebrate our independence from England, our freedom and sense of liberty. As we were celebrating this 4th of July, TJ gave us an other reason to celebrate: his independence from his walker toy and mommy/daddy's hands. He is free, independent, and on his own two feet. YEP, TJ IS WALKING!

Rich, TJ and I went to Rich's brother's house for July 4th. We were all hanging out on the front lawn. Rich had just finished playing catch with our nephew Lucas, and I had just finished escorting TJ up and down the long driveway on his walker toy. Man, he loved that thing. He discovered a new thrill of going extra fast due to the driveway's slight incline. He was practically running to keep up with gravity and inertia.

I thought TJ was tuckered out. Ends up that he was just getting warmed up and the fast pace was just what he needed to make the mental/physical bridge to walking on his own. Dad brought TJ to the lawn and put a safe distance between him and our niece, Alyssa. Dad then stood TJ up, TJ caught his balance and then ventured off toward the smiling Alyssa. TJ ended up on his bottom for the first two attempts, but by the third attempt, he was successfully taking three steps without falling. Could it be? Is he getting the hang of it? Do we have a toddler in our midst?

Alyssa and Dad increased the distance between them and TJ showed signs of excitement. We continued. We changed partners. Gradually, TJ was taking at least eight steps and making it successfully from one pair of outstretched of arms to another. HE IS WALKING!

I tell you, there is nothing more amazing than watching your 12 month old son walk toward you with a big huge smile of victory on his face. Right then and there I was so proud of my little boy. I let the emotion take over. Yes, I did cry. TJ has found his own sense of independence on our nation's Independence Day. How ironic is that?

He still does appreciate the crutch of having someone or something near by to grab if he needs to, but TJ is discovering the thrill of finding his balance and using his feet to get from point A to point B. I can imagine that in the next two weeks he will prefer walking to crawling and a whole new world will open up to this little boy (and of course to all of those who have to run after him).

Great job, TJ.

First Birthday Party

TJ celebrated his first birthday party!

On the list of people who showed up were our friends Darci, Paul and Emily Gier with their girls, Olga and her children, Tony and Helen from across the street, and Glenn (my old boss). Oddly enough each person entered into the back yard everyone seemed to know each other from something other than Lisa or I.

Glenn, Paul and Emily knew each other from Lime Hollow Nature Center. Emily knew Tony from working at the hospital. Darci and Glenn knew each other from SUNY Cortland, and Olga knew Tony from being next door to him with TJ. What a small, strange circle of friends. Not that the people are strange, but that they are all interconnected.

TJ was a perfectly behaved one year old who was dotted on by her sister and the two girls, Alex and Natalie. He smiled a lot and got passed around to everyone.

It was a great night in the back yard. The set on the front of the house and the temperature was perfect for grilling and hanging out. Glenn held a seminar on "How To Hold a Garage Sale." Darci bubbled with excitement knowing that her husband was on his way home from Afghanistan for leave. The kids played and we even let Poly join the group. All that was missing was some tiki torches and mosquitoes.

TJ opened his presents with the help of his mommy and the girls. He tore through a bunch of great presents but his favorite was the Radio Flyer ATW red wagon from his mommy and daddy. We put him in the back and pulled him around the party. You would have thought he was the prince of Persia the way he smiled at his "subjects" and waved. What a ham.

TJ had a h-u-g-e cake made for him. He couldn't figure out the blowing out of the candle or that it was okay to sink his hands into the big red icing X on it. So we were a little late in getting the party organized and executed as evidenced by the writing on the cake in the video. Cake writing is not an Op Ed piece...



Thank you to everyone who came out. Thank you to everyone for the presents. We had a great party!

My Big Sis

This entry is recounted to dad from TJ.

On Friday my big sister Samantha finished 5th grade and is going in to Middle School in the fall! She looked so good in her yellow dress. She was easy to spot in it. Well, that and she is taller than all of the other kids in her class!

She grabbed me and showed me off to all of the people in her school; the principal, her teachers, her friends - she had a LOT of friends.

I did my best to cheer her on during the ceremony which only led to me being hauled out by mommy. That didn't stop me from yelling louder!

I am so proud of her. She did so well in school that she is going to be in advanced math in the 6th grade! I bet she's smart enough to get into Cornell. Just think when she's old enough to be in Cornell I will be where she is at now. Wow!

The next night everyone went out to dinner and I did my best to entertain them by posing, smiling, talking, and being overall c-u-t-e. Sam wanted to sit close to me the whole time. I can tell that she loves me.

I am so lucky to be her little brother.

Fear?!

TJ is a rock. Nothing phases him.

Shots and vaccines? Ha, a little whimper and he's as good as new.

Bonk on the head? Bhah, he just gets up and keeps going.

Strangers? That's just a new person to wave to.

Thunder at 2:22am? That's nothing...oh, wait a minute. Hold on everyone.

On Sunday morning at 2:22am a storm rolled through Cortland and the rest of Central NY. This wasn't the far away, distant rumble of thunder. No, this was BAM! CRASH!! KA-BooM! TJ was wide awake and screaming! Not the, "hey, where are you big people who love me?" call that we get from time to time. No, this was the, "GET IN HERE NOW!" panicked shout of a one year old in distress. Lisa went running and I turned on the light.

Lisa brought TJ into the bed and he was trembling, shaking, and w-i-d-e awake. His eyes were the size of saucers as he looked for the source of the thunder. By now the storm had moved away and the noise was less obscene. Still, TJ looked from window to window trying to find the sound.

(As I write this another storm is passing through and TJ has just gone to bed. Maybe this is a passing thing, or maybe he is too tired to care right now.)

We tried to get him to fall asleep with us. Something we have never accomplished because he wiggles to much and because I can't stand baby feet walking all over me all night long. So TJ went back to his bed and amazingly drifted quickly back off to bed.

My son is an amazingly happy, easy mannered child. I have never seen him slink back in fear from anything, really. Sunday morning was a first without a doubt. And I guess I wonder what that means. For the most part we teach our children what to be afraid of in this world. Fear of people different from us. Fear of ideas not like ours. Fear of the things we cannot explain with our own limited understanding of the world. I want my children to know what to be afraid of and to know the difference between the lightning and the thunder.

Father's Day 2008

Father's Day 2008 was a pleasant first full day back from "Army" school.

Lisa brought me TJ and then coffee. Of course TJ is always a treat in the morning, full of smiles and chatter. By the time Sam got up I sported my "Best Dad Hands Down" shirt from Samantha and we were all ready to walk over to the greasy spoon that we love on Sunday mornings, Hyde's Diner.

Growing up as a kid my parents always went to the Monroe Diner, a Greek owned diner that started out as a tiny short order joint and grew over the years into a respectable place for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Going to Hyde's reminds me of those Sunday mornings.

I mowed the lawn - which is not so much of a task than a few minutes of "me time". Lisa like to fold laundry. I like to cut the grass. To each his own, at least my lawn looks good.

The kids gave me my presents; a book on steam locomotives from Samantha, and a painting of what looks like a angel fish from TJ. The day was beautiful and we drove over to the lake to try to sail.

This is my second or third time trying to sail with Lisa. Each time has met with poor results. In fact, it was only our pre-wedding day sail and our honeymoon where I had any luck. With the sailing that is... Nope, Lisa is never going to get the chance to teach me to sail.

We came back home and I go to barbecue some hamburgers - a perfect "dad job" - for dinner.

I am blessed with a wonderful family and it felt great to be a dad of two wonderful kids.

Life is good.

Happy Birthday!

Wow! Has one year passed us by already? Time as flown and we are now celebrating the day that TJ came into this world as well as all that time that has passed since then.

The day started at 6:00 am with a "aaaah-ahhhh-ahhh" coming from the birthday boy's room. He was up and he clearly saw what the birthday fairy left for him overnight: three colorful balloons. Mommy greeted him with video camera in hand and sung her best rendition of "happy birthday"-- morning voice and all.

TJ also got to open the birthday present that grandma sent him: a singing birthday Elmo. He is a little unsure about this bright red creature, but he did seem very pleased that he knew how to make Elmo sing again and again and again.

All other birthday festivities: cake, silly hats, cards, more presents have been placed on hold until next week. Unfortunately on TJs first birthday both mom and dad had to be in different places. Dad is in New Jersey and Mom is at Cornell reunioning.

We are sorry that we could not do your first birthday "right", TJ. Sometimes life gets in the way of these things. But don't think for a minute that we have not thought about how special you are and how our lives have changed for the better since you entered our world at 6:50 pm on June 7th, 2007. You will always know this day as your birthday. Over time, it will come to mean different things for you: parties, presents, cake, friends, sleep overs, driver's licenses, an opportunity to vote, an opportunity to drink (legally), and even then to the years that you really do not want your birthday to count. Trust me.

But my wonderful, most precious son, I will always remember and celebrate this day as the day that I was initiated into "mommyhood" (however painful that initiation was) and how your daddy and I received such an amazing and precious gift from God.

Today I celebrate you and how much you have grown in your first year of life. And each year, on this day we will remember and laugh together as family does and let you know how much we love you and are blessed to have you in our lives.

Happy Birthday, TJ.

My First Mothers Day

Earlier this month I was able to celebrate my first mother's day with TJ. As a mom, I have to say that this holiday takes on a different flavor. The love that I feel for my son is so indescribable and this day just tops it off to a whole other level. I am a mom. Yes, that means I change poopie diapers. It means I get out of bed in the middle of the night when TJ cries. It means that I can read TJ's many emotions, moods, and wants like no one else can.

As a mom, it also means that I am charged (along with my husband of course) to raise and nurture this little life. To instruct this child to the best of my ability to be the best human he knows how to be. To teach him compassion, humility, respect, love, honor, and the list goes on and on. To help him discover his God given gifts and use them to advance the world of which he is a part. To teach him to make a difference. To help him learn something and be good to someone every day of his life.

That is a tall order and an awesome responsibility. But I will do my best to savor every day of it. I owe it to my son. I am a mom.

Our Kid-Free Weekend!

We enjoyed our second weekend without the kids at the Mohonk Mountain House just outside of New Paltz, NY.

It was a welcome respite before the summer that seems like it is going to go 100 mph without any breaks. In fact, this may be one of the few weekends where we both have the time and availability to get away.

Charging the batteries is necessary and this weekend did it.

He Said, She Said

I say TJ said his first word.

Someone else in this house is in denial.

And only because it wasn't the word she wanted to hear.

Be-Bop Baby

We told everyone in the last post, TJ has acquired a taste for music and rocks, and bobs, and moves to the beat of any music. It is hysterical to watch.

Here is some video of TJ rocking to the song "Peanut Butter and Jelly", a scat tune with lots of drum beats to it.



Neither Lisa or I are musically inclined so to see TJ get into music is a strange sensation. Is he a progeny? Do I have to buy him a drum set? Lessons - when?

Fortunately, we both have a love for music so there is lots for TJ to chose from - Carrie Underwood to Kid Rock. So until TJ show signs of a baby Beethoven lurking in those genes of his, he will just have to settle for the CD player and satellite radio.

Here's an encore!



Announcer voice: Thank you very much, TJ has left the building!

Catching Up

Yikes! It has been awhile since we last wrote. Let me do a couple of highlights of TJ's 10th month:

TJ has teeth! Yep. . . two top and two bottom. There was about a week and a half there of really difficult nights. We tried baby oragel, but found that a bit of Tylenol worked much better. TJ gives us a big toothy smile now. I think he feels much better now that those first teeth are in.

TJ is sleeping through the night! YEA!!!!! I think once he got over his teething episode, he decided to master the art of sleep. For 7 days in a row TJ slept from 8:00 PM to 6:00 AM. We did break our in-a-row streak just the other night when for some reason he woke up at midnight in a fit. Bad dream, maybe? The fact that TJ can soothe himself back to sleep at night is HUGE. We love our new found rest. Its wonderful. And now that he is sleeping through the nights, he is also doing much better with his day time naps. I think the thing that has made all of the difference is that he is not getting breastfed before bed or during the night anymore. We are weaning him, and because of this, he has found other ways to soothe besides being connected to mommy's breast. He does have a bottle before bed time. But he is falling asleep in the crib and not in mommy's arms.

Yep. . . breastfeeding has now officially ended. Almost 11 months. I impress myself with how long we kept it up. I do miss the cuddle time. For some reason feeding from a bottle is just not the same. I know that TJ misses it a bit too. Any time he sees his mommy naked, he does what I call the "boobie dance" and gets all excited. For awhile I thought it was cute, but it also can creep me out that he gets sooo overjoyed. Yes, TJ just might be a breast man.

We purchased a jogging stroller. TJ loves going FAST. Mommy loves that she can find additional time to hit the pavement and get back in shape now that the weather is warming up. The stroller is great and works so well on all of the bumpy, uneven sidewalks.

TJ loves bath time in the bathtub upstairs. We have a good time. But the part that he loves the most is the tail end of the experience. Once I take him out of the tub and dry him off, he immediately pulls himself up along the side, peers in at the water draining out and then tosses all of his toys back into the water. SPLASH! He giggles uncontrollably.

The other thing that TJ loves to do in the bathroom is to watch the flushing toilet. What is it about draining water that fascinates this child? Of course the biggest chuckle of the whole thing is that sometimes he waves "bye-bye" to what ever may be flushing down the toilet along with the water. Ugh. . . we really have to watch this habit. . . some day he is going to want to flush his toys down the toilet.

The weather has been amazing in Cortland for the past week now which has allowed us to spend more time outside. We have quickly discovered that TJ does not like grass. He refuses to crawl on the lawn and when placed on the grass he will not move. We think he is just not comfortable with the texture quite yet. This, of course, has its advantages. For instance, just today we were able to lay out a blanket in our front yard and know that TJ was going to stay on that blanket while we chilled in the sun. Its like a pack-and-play with no sides.

TJ has also started to become quite the dancing machine. Any time he hears music he starts bouncing up and down to the beat. It is quite a riot to watch. At this point in time he does not discriminate between genres of music. I wonder when that will change and he will show a preference. He will even dance to mommy's singing (sometimes). He hears music, he bounces, he discovers mommy and daddy are watching and gives us a great big smile.

Finally, TJ seems to be getting ready to run a marathon. Earlier tonight we were at our church to help out with the youth group meeting. As we were waiting for the youth to arrive, we brought out a handful of toys from the nursery. One of the toys we brought out was a simple wheeled walker push toy. He warmed up to it pretty well. Of course mom was right there trying to slow down the walker so that TJ's feet could catch up. The walker went pretty fast on the hardwood floors of the multipurpose room. But after some prodding from dad, mom let go of the walker to see what TJ could manage himself. WOW! It was like we let the race horse out of the starting gate. He went with it and moved at quite a fast pace. And once he discovered how much fun he was having, he did not want to stop. We must have done over 10 laps around the room. I have never seen TJ so excited while playing with a toy and I have never known something to hold his attention for as long as the walker did. After a few laps, he would take a break, drink some water, and then get back up on the walker and GO. I am sorry that I did not have any Gatorade to give him. He was like a mini-athlete.

This past month has been a blast with TJ. It is wonderful to see him grow, learn and explore the world around him. More fun stories to follow. . . .

In Memoriam, Sue Brown February 8, 1942 to April 11, 2007

It has been a whole year since mom passed away.

It has been a wonderful year for TJ. He is surrounded by so many people who love him from Grandma to Samantha to Olga to Uncle Andy and to his mommy and daddy. TJ will always have that love but never know how this grandparent could spoil a child.

As much as we miss mom, I know that she misses us even more and we are sad knowing that she was never a part of the joy TJ has given us.

Peace mom, we love you.

Bath Time!

This weekend we'll re-do the bathroom and bathtub and TJ will be able to take bathies in the big tub. So in honor of the kitchen sink that has served as his tub we present this last tub time video.

We remember when he used to be able to fit long ways in the sink. Wow, amazing what 10 months can do!

And as you can see here, TJ is getting the lip smacking kissy sound down while looking like a cute, cuddly, terry frog.

Baby Swim Class

Yea! The day has come. I have been looking forward to this day ever since TJ was born: baby swim class day. Okay, I know. . . why does a 9 month old baby really need a swim class? But, this was the one activity I really wanted to do with my son. I really have a strong desire to have my son develop a love for the water at an early age. I want him to love the water, to feel comfortable in the water, to be “one” with the water. I guess you can say that I see baby swim class as being the first step to shaping my son to develop the same level of passion I feel for the sea, sailing, and practically every water sport out there.

The YWCA of Cortland offers a “water babies” class that fills up fast. Apparently other parents also want to get their kids swimming early too. My original hope was to have TJ start going to water babies when he was six months old. But, I was not aware at the time how cut-throat enrollment can be for this class. I called the Y on the day that open enrollment started and they told me that the class was already full. After expressing my extreme frustration to the receptionist, I begrudgingly accepted the fact that TJ and I would just have to wait a few more months for the next session to start.

So, a few months later, I was able to successfully enroll TJ in the upcoming class. Hot dog. We had a spot! You ready for some swimming time fun, sport? I donned TJ in his cute little hibiscus patterned swim trunks and matching water shirt, put on my swim suit, packed our bags, and away we went.

TJ was a little hesitant to get into the water. We walked down the ramp and into the pool. The majority of the time in the pool, I could sense that TJ was a little unsure of what was going on. First of all, this was the first time that he had been surrounded by so many other children his age and his size. I think we has soaking in the fact that there were also little, itty, bitty people his size too. I guess this is the challenge of on-on-one day care. He was very curious as to what all these other beings were. But, I also noticed that TJ was not his usual social self. No waving, no smiling, no cute little giggles. He was out of his element and trying something new. As a result, he was a bit more reserved and focused on the new experience. BUT, he did not cry. Instead, he looked at me as if to say, “who are these people and why are we sharing bath time with them all?”

The class was somewhat comical: a whole bunch of grown adults singing to their child as they walked around in a circle. Really? We are paying for this? Really? There is a waiting list for this? Okay. . .that is the cynical side in me. The mommy side thought it was a hoot. And yes, I am excited to go again next week.

Early Riser

TJ is up early this morning. He's way off of his usual routine. Lisa is out of town and TJ misses her. Nursing him back to sleep is not an option and since TJ is going through a phase where he does not want a bottle or sippy cup, it is harder to soothe him.

The 3:30am waking lasted 45 minutes and then he slept for only a couple of more hours.

So here we are at 7:something in the morning. TJ is practicing feeding himself. My coffee is fresh. The sun is just coming into the dining room.

Happy Sunday morning.

Samantha and TJ

Sam and TJ spent a lot of time together this weekend. It's always amazing how much he lights up when she is in the house. What a great big sister. What a great little boy.

TJ Eats A Biscuit

WARNING: What you are about to view is messy. Viewer discretion is advised.

Easter and March Madness

Happy Easter! For TJ's first Easter we made it easy and didn't hide any Easter eggs. Since Mommy won't let him have any chocolate yet I wonder where all of those Kisses, foil wrapped eggs, and pastel M&Ms are going?

Church was packed and TJ came out from the nursery at the end so that all of the little grandmothers could see him. He is popular everywhere.

TJ's present for Easter is in keeping with Lisa's other holiday at this time of the year, college basketball finals. Yes, March Madness has descended upon the Brown household again. Lisa loves the finals, maybe its the last second pressure she can relate to. (I found it hard to watch Cornell get crushed by Stanford - kind of like watching a friend get broken up with, only in public, and with millions of people watching).

We got TJ his own basketball net that cheers every time he scores. We're still working on his three pointers but we're hopeful that by starting early he can get a scholarship for college.

Happy Easter to all.

"You Left The Baby's Sippy Cup At The Bar"

Okay - that is not a line you hear in daily conversation yet it is one I heard Sunday morning.

Rewind to Saturday.

I had to go to Mattydale, NY for an important function for the US Army. This was a change of command ceremony which means a day with a lot of dignitaries, high ranking officers, and family members. Because I have already drilled with the unit for the month of March, and because I did not need to be there all day, and because I was spending time with my family, I convinced Lisa to come to the event with TJ and Sam so that afterwards we could split out to the Carousel Mall.

The day went as planned. TJ was a hit with everyone. He was well behaved, smiled a lot, and was quiet through the event. Sam was a rock star, politely answering questions from my boss and my boss's boss.

At lunch time we went to the local VFW for a full on reception of turkey, ham, and all of the sides. The VFW is everything you'd imagine inside the main room, lots of red, white, and blue on old paneling with lots of pictures of old men who were once brave Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen. (Of course the women at the VFW came out of the kitchen to see/hold/squeeze the baby). As we left it was mentioned that their would be a reception after the business day that would include cocktails. Again at the VFW.

The impolite thing to do would have been to go to the mall (already packed with people from the St. Patrick's Day Parade) and then go home. Instead we did the right thing and returned to the VFW.

We pulled into the parking lot at 4:00ish and decided that we'd stay for about 45 minutes. This reception was in the bar - not the meeting hall. The VFW bar is everything you'd imagine too; cheap beer, 365 Christmas lights, curmudgeons, and more "Support the Troops" stickers than Soldiers in last year's "Surge". I had a beer and made it last. Lisa too had a beer and made it last. There were friends there to catch up with, including a long lost college ROTC buddy, as well as new friends, and of course my Soldiers. Again, TJ was great, Sam was a rock star and the 45 minutes disappeared in a flash.

At 4:45 we decided to stay a little longer. Lisa got another beer and the VFW women - now at the bar - continued to faun over the baby. An hour after that we pulled ourselves away from the conversations, the electronic gambling machine (a whole other entry), and the people and drove home.

When we got home Lisa told me that we'd left TJ's cup behind and told me to pick it up the next day.

Sunday morning I entered the Reserve Center and it was as if everyone lined up to tell me that we'd left the cup at the bar. But that wasn't the best. No. The best part of the day was when I went to lunch with my new boss and her boss to the local diner. There in the diner was one of the VFW women. You guessed it, in front of everyone she blurts out in a nice load voice, "You left the baby's sippy cup at the bar!"

Great - dad of the year.

Garlic!?

Last week, Olga (TJ's day care provider) asked me if I was pregnant.

"What?!" I exclaimed. That is a personal question. . . and God help me if I am, I thought.

She told me how TJ had been refusing my breast milk recently and it caught her by surprise. He has always been a healthy eater and eats even when he is not hungry (which means he is good at spiting up what he doesn't want when his tummy is full). She has really had to work with him to take a bottle. Apparently there is an old wives tale out there that says the make up of your breast milk changes when you are pregnant and that you child will know you are pregnant before you do.

I assured Olga that I was not pregnant and suggested that maybe TJ was having an off day.

Well, three days later I discovered what the source of the problem was: Garlic. No joke, there was a small clove of garlic in my breast pump shield. For the past three days, as I have been expressing my breast milk I have also been infusing it with a hint of garlic (at least I hope it has been a hint).

Somehow, when things were piling up in the kitchen over the weekend, a clove of garlic managed to get trapped in the shield. I do routinely rinse and clean the shield, but I reserve the cleaning of all of the smaller pieces to once or twice a week. It was not until the "deep clean" that I discovered the clove.

My poor little TJ. Mommy is sorry. Glad to know that I am not pregnant again. . . yet.

Two Hours of Quiet

It's Saturday at 10:00. I have been home for two hours while Lisa is out with Samantha and TJ at the last Cornell hockey game of the season. I had drill all day and into part of the night. When I got home the house was dark and quiet.

What do you do when you finally have the whole house to yourself? You turn on the TV and fall asleep in front of it. Am I fun or what?

Last night Lisa went out with a group of women and had a good time.

Either way, having some time to yourself is a great boost after a full day of work and a full evening with the children.

Uh-oh, they're home.

"I Feel The Need, The Need For Speed!"

As reported earlier, TJ is now mobile. He has two directions, forward and backward. He now has something else - speed.

TJ can cross the floor rather quickly depending on what he is going after. The more he shouldn't have something the faster he goes. For example, if he is trying to get a toy we put out there for him, TJ just lumbers along, stops from time to time to sit up, looks around and gets there when he feels like it. BUT - if he is trying to get to the electronics equipment for the TV/stereo/XboX/TiVo he can move out rather quickly.

Naturally, he is much more fascinated and drawn to the electronics. Or the dogs chew toy. On the latter, Poly is very good natured and rather than growling or snapping, she just goes and picks it up and moves it or lays in front of it.

All of this speed and fascination has led to a new word in TJ's listening vocabulary, "no." The word "no" at the right tone and inflection can stop him in his tracks just long enough to look over his shoulder, ponder, and continue on his travels. I go over, pick him and remove him from the area he should not be in and in the time it takes me to sit back down he is half way back to said area.

(Unfortunately, Poly thinks the "no" is always directed at her and she is getting a little neurotic with all of this behavior modification.)

So in the past week not only did we start to crawl forward, but also crawl forward quickly. Lisa is now going through the mental gymnastics of baby proofing the house. The physical gymnastics will be assigned to me, of course.

Yea!

Forward Gear

It's official! TJ is now a forward crawler.

The phone call came on Saturday afternoon. I was working at our annual AD White Student Leadership Conference at Cornell. Dad and Samantha were at home for the day on "baby duty". I could not take the call right away, but when I found the moment to call back, Rich said, "we got ourselves a crawler."

"Really!" I remarked. "How far can he go?"

"How far do you want him to go?" Rich said back.

Earlier that day as people were asking me how TJ was doing my standard remark was, "he is doing well. He is crawling backward, he just needs to figure out how to get it into forward gear." I guess he found it.

I am so pleased to know that Dad and Sam were at home to see it first. Yep, mommy guilt crept in. I was not at home to see the first crawl. But at least Rich could be a part. There is so much that he may miss in the future. . . so I will give him this one. He deserves it.

Now that it has been a few days, TJ is becoming more familiar with forward gear. His speed is increasing. But he still pops it in and out of neutral and reverse quite a bit. Baby proofing the house is in our near future. We know that for sure.

TJ's First Valentines Day

Happy Valentine's Day! Oh boy. TJ MUST love his mommy and daddy, because for his very first Valentine's Day he gave us the gift of sleep. Yep! That is right. TJ slept through the entire night. A first! Bed at 8:00 PM and woke up at 6:15 AM. Yippee!

Of course mommy woke up at 3:00 AM a little panicked that she had not heard a peep from her son. I did go in and check on him to see if all was right. Recently, TJ has discovered the joy of sleeping on his tummy. This of course causes mommy to stress and think "SIDS! He is going to die of SIDS". Yes, the "back to sleep" campaign really brainwashed me to believe that any time on baby's tummy while asleep is bad. But I am starting to understand now that if he can roll over, he can roll back, AND he is quite capable of lifting his head, his whole body, and even moving to a sitting position. However, mommy parinoia still haunts me at the wee hours of the night.

Now I have to be honest and tell you that while TJ sleeping through the night is a great joy, it also can produce a great pain. You see, if TJ sleeps-- and sleeps long-- my breasts get full, heavy and uncomfortable. They are ready to provide him with a little midnight snack, as they have for eight months now. I really think it was my chest pain that woke me up.

So I was faced with a dilemma as I crawled back in bed. I was happy that TJ was asleep. But I also was uncomfortable enough to know that I was not going to be able to fall asleep until I reduced a bit of my swelling. I did not want to wake TJ to feed him (and ease my pain). I liked that he was sleeping. But if I went downstairs to pump, don't you think it would be my luck that TJ would wake up at 4:00 (as he is accustomed to doing) and be hungry and have no snack waiting for him? After trying to talk to my half-asleep husband about my situation, I made a compromise and went downstairs to pump half of what was available.

Ends up TJ did not wake up at 4:00 like I thought he would. At this point in time it is hard to predict TJ's sleeping patterns. He surprised me this Valentine's Day. I have no idea if this pattern of sleeping through the night will continue. But for now, I am appreciative of the gift he gave his dad and me: a good night sleep (minus the 3 am pump) and a hope that more nights of peaceful slumber are not that far off for the whole family.

What a sign of love. Thanks, TJ!

The Big Sister

Samantha has taken on the role of big sister in strides. At first she was tentative about being "replaced". Sam, especially during the pregnancy, showed signs of anxiety over getting lost in the shuffle as the delivery day came closer and closer. She became a little more detached and a little more argumentative. (The fact that she is 10 going on 14 may also be a contributing cause.)

During Chritmas vacation Sam learned that TJ is not always the focus of everyone's attention all of the time. Obviously TJ needs attention but that does not mean that it to the exclusion of attention to her. For example, Sam and I went kayaking one morning. When we were at SeaWorld we took turns riding the Kraaken with Sam while TJ sat on the sidelines. This winter Sam and I go skiing every Wednesday and every other weekend.

The down side is that TJ takes up so much of Lisa's time that Sam feels shut out. Sam's "girl friend" has less time to spend with her. Its hard to explain to a child that the situation requires Lisa being more involved with TJ over Sam. Its hard for Sam not to feel left out when she is only with us part time.

Samatha with TJ is amazing. TJ lights up when Samantha is in the room. At dinner TJ sits in his highchair across from his sister and smiles. Sam on the other side encourages the smiling with faces (that she turnes "off" when I look over to her - what she doesn't realize is that I can see her reflection in the window). Sam plays with TJ and goes out of her way to kiss him good night or say good bye to him at the end of the weekend. Sam wants to be involved with her brother (unless he is crying).

As a father to both, I know that I am blessed. I know the relationship between half siblings could be difficult and challenging. However, at the outset Samantha is doing great. TJ loves his big sister and Sam loves her baby brother.

First Signs of Communication

Just a few days before TJ turns 8 months, we are seeing signs of TJs desire to communicate. That is, communicating in other means besides crying.

Just last week he started using the ASL sign for "more" when eating his cheerios. At first, when Olga told us he started to sign, I thought it was impossible for him to do this so early on. Really? He told you he wanted more cheerios? Come on. But then I saw it for myself that night at dinner. Granted sometimes I get confused between when he is clapping and when he is wanting "more", but it is obvious he is doing something intentionally.

Now TJ is starting to wave. A few mornings ago, I brought him downstairs after he just woke up and seeing his sister and father for the first time that morning, he raised his hand and moved it around as if to say, "Good morning!" It was adorable. Now he is raising his hand and shaking it in other situations too. I think he gets it. . . now he just needs to work on his fine motor skills.

It is exciting to know that TJ is starting to understand how to communicate. We plan on teaching him and using other signs in the next few months and I look forward to him picking these up too.

I Aint Nobody's Grandma!

So. . . get this. . . .

I was in a Wendy's the other day after a trip to the mall. I finished giving TJ a bottle and was getting ready to take him to the bathroom so we could change his diaper before the ride home. At that point we ran into a mom and her two-year-old boy. The boy was very excited to see a baby, so naturally, I stopped so that I could show off my son and have him interact with others.

We did the normal mom-kid exchanges. Ooh, what is your name, how old are you, I think the baby likes you. Yada, yada, yada. Of course most of this conversation involved the boy's mother serving as his interpreter. The mom was filling out an application to work at Wendy's and seemed a bit young and uneducated. Okay, maybe that assessment is not very fair of me, and maybe I am exposing my elitist side of me. However, I hope you will find that our next exchange totally validates my assessment.

After the pleasantries with the son, the mom looks up at me and says, "oh, are your TJ's grandma?" WHAT?! My mouth dropped. Did she really ask me if I was the grandmother of my son? Come on? Are you serious. I said, "no, I am his mom." What I really wanted to say is: "No. Some of us choose to wait after high school, go to college, get a high paying job, and then have children when we can support them." But I bit my tongue instead. Needless to say the conversation ended there. I think my tongue started to bleed by the time I walked into the bathroom.

I ain't nobody's grandma!