Catching Up

Hard to believe that Januray has passed without a lot to talk about.  January feels like one of the longest months ever; I think it is about 137 days long.  Short days and cold temperatures make it that way. 

Sam is doing well at UNC.  Her Fall 2018 semester is officially over now that she has taken her last final.  Winter storms in December resulted in closing the campus for two days and postponing finals during that week. She has made the transition from Community College to University life pretty well.  She still needs to learn her limitations as they related to managing her academics and social life.  She has become a Tar Heels basketball fan - with fervor.  Texting us when UNC was falling to UVA made me realize that she is emotionally invested - how awesome is that?  She is making some of the same mistakes I made in my transition from local college to a four year school.  I am bemused more than concerned when she goes out partying. 

The boys are doing well.  TJ is struggling in 6th Grade with the social aspect of classroom behavior.  He has a group of friends that, by fourth period, are pushing each other’s buttons and the buttons of the teacher.  TJ is polite to his teachers but aloof to being responsible for his actions and words.  One In-school suspension so far for his behavior.  After a meeting with his teachers, they are convinced that TJ will grow out of this by 7th Grade.  TJ is an extrovert. Neither Lisa nor I are.  This makes understanding him and his motivations a little challenging for us.  His ability to live life out loud is something we will have to learn to live with and help him know how to control those impulses. Of course - he brings that attitude home too.  He is starting to talk back to Lisa. This is the onset of adolescence and a ‘natural’ behavior, but it is still cause for fireworks from time to time.  He got all dressed up for a cotillion the other day.  He looked sharp in a tuxedo.  As he reported back afterwards, "I didn't like it, but I sorta did." 

Grant is a budding scientist and/or engineer.  In January he made a “motor” out of copper wire, magnets, and batteries.  This month he learned how to make a ball “float” using a hairdryer.  His curiosity on how things work is truly amazing.  His mind is always on the go as he spends his time watching “how-to” videos on YouTube.  He is academically competitive and strives to get top grades.  If he doesn’t he gets upset. He benefits from seeing his brother get punished and rewarded for his behaviors.   He recently took 2nd Place at a community art show!  Art and science in one kid!

As a result, Lisa and I are spending a lot of time parenting.  It’s a tag team effort where I usually make school lunches and Lisa gets the boys off to school.  We manage basketball practices, cotillion rehearsals, and comings and goings of a modern family with lots of demands on its time. We are in that stage of life where we are a mile wide and an inch deep. We have also joined our neighbors in a team 2019 mile running challenge for the year.  We all log our miles on one app and it totals our progress.  Considering the bad weather we still logged over 200 miles in January.  At this pace we might even finish by October! Lisa spent the whole month of January sugar and alcohol free. I think she did a phenomenal job avoiding the temptation of candy and booze - with the exception of the night that Bobby passed.

Bobby took up a lot of time and concern over the month of January and we are still reeling from his death.  His illness in December was far worse than we imagined and the toll it took on his heart was simply too much - I don’t have any other explanation.  We made a video of his eulogy and posted it on YouTube for his friends to watch since they couldn’t attend the service.  As of this post the video has over 700+ views - an amazing testament to the power of love and friendship and defining those relationship-emotions in ways some of us cannot appreciate.

That's it for now.

 

We Are The Champions

It has been a great couple of weeks for Grant Brown.


He has been doing great in school and his artwork took 2nd Place in the school art show.  The biggest event though, has been the amazing come-from-behind season that the Fuquay Varina Youth Basketball League - 8 Year Old Division - Eagles Team pulled off tonight!

The team started off with a 0-5 record and it looked like it was going to be a season in the basement.  However, with a lot of good coaching, a lot of hustle, a lot of pluck, and just a little luck - the team held off the Number 1 Seed Road Runners to take the title.

Grant was super excited going into the game.  He practiced with his brother by shooting hoops in the driveway and working on his rebounds.  When we pulled up to the Community Center he sprinted into the building ahead of us to be with the team.

As the game started the Road Runners sunk two baskets that took the Eagles two full quarters to match.  And then they pulled ahead!  Going into the half, the score was 8-4.  Curiously missing from the other team at the beginning of the game was the dreaded #1, a young player with a lot of talent who could dribble, block, and shoot with great skill.  When he walked in with two minutes left to go in the second quarter our hearts sunk.  What would the last two quarters be like? We had just barely eeked out an advantage.

In the second half of the game the Road Runners could never coalesce their offense - even though they had better rebounding skills.  The Eagles, on the other hand, had one good play and they used it often.  Grant did well blocking and recovering loose balls.  He made a couple of shots too! The Eagles pulled ahead into the middle of the fourth. 

Grant played the second part of each quarter and with about a minute and a half left to go he went down for a rebound and bonked heads with another player.  He came up crying and holding his head.  We could tell from the stands he was sore because he kept sniffling as the clock wound down.  In the last 90 seconds the Road Runner defense fell apart and the Eagle racked up the score.  With 30 seconds left to go we were all standing and cheering with victory just couple of possessions away.  It was a g-r-e-a-t win!

Grant recovered and was happy with pizza and Dairy Queen and a big trophy!  Way to go Eagles!  Way to go, Grant!

 

 

In Memoriam: All Hail King Bob

After a short illness, Bobby Blockus passed away.  He was one of the most unique persons I have ever known.  His time on the earth was short but he left a gap in our hearts that will never be filled.  I held a special place in Bob’s life; I was his brother-in-law, but I also acted as his big brother, father figure, and guardian. I was asked to say something at his memorial service - not because I knew him best but because I knew the many sides of him.  Here is what I said:

 

I first met Bobby in December 2005 at Walt Disney. We were waiting on line for Splash Mountain and he turned to me and said, “Sean Connery is the best James Bond. Spy missions.”  And then he turned away.  I thought I was being punked - but I quickly learned that that was the way Bobby was. Over the next fourteen years I would learn to appreciate just how special he was to everyone who called him a son, brother, uncle, and friend.  

 

Robert F. Blockus Junior was born in Boston, Massachusetts to Robert Senior and Helen Blockus.  He did most of his growing up in Upper Arlington, Ohio. He was a brother to Linda and Lisa - and I love that he tormented his little sister, Lisa, from time to time by pinning her down and teasing her.  Typical sibling stuff.

 

He was raised in a home with good Christian values - values that would stay with Bob all of his life. He skied, and hiked, and was into scouting with his dad’s Boy Scout Troop. He is one of those rare Scouts who attained the rank of Eagle Scout.  He was part of the Explorer Scout Program with the local police department and a college graduate.  Bobby was very proud of his upbringing in Ohio and very proud of his accomplishments.

 

Bobby had great work ethic and filled a lot of jobs that fit his personality and his love of the great outdoors.  He worked in the National Parks of Glacier Bay, Denali, Big Bend, and the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  He was proud of his eleven years at Chik-fil-A and we were all openly jealous of his time working at Walt Disney World. 

 

As Betty points out, Bobby was born with a bad heart - “bad” being a general layman’s term for heart defect called tetralogy of fallot.  But that is only a medical term.  I knew Bobby, there was nothing wrong with his heart.  In fact, Bobby had one of the biggest and gentlest hearts of any person I know.  Bobby’s heart was good. 

 

Bobby was a good person and a great friend who cared about others. He could hold a conversation with an absolute stranger and end it with a new found friend.  I once listened to Bobby call someone he had just met on line and talk to him for 90 minutes. He had this incredible ability to make friends.  Bobby lived on line, in social media, and the web sites he would create - World Peace News, Moon Base Galaxy, and others.  In those places he developed a network of HUNDREDS of friends across the globe.  Within a few hours of posting the news of his passing there were messages of condolences from as far away as Alaska, California, Florida, England, and Norway. Some of these people had never met Bobby in person - they just followed him on line.  He had a gentleness, sincerity, and sense of humor that people loved.

 

Now, truth be told, Bobby’s mind was different than most of ours.

 

Despite his health issues, Bobby never disparaged his condition or showed anger or contempt for his situation.  If anyone had a right to be bitter, it would have been Bobby.  I often wonder what kind of life Bobby would have lived if his circumstances had been different, but Bobby never wasted time on what might have been.  He always accepted where he was and made the most of it.  When he got a job leading Jeep Tours in Skagway, Alaska, he was hired over the phone, sight unseen.  When he arrived in Skagway - and oh, by the way, he drove from Tampa, Florida to Alaska - the company realized that he wasn’t the very best fit to take tourists out on Jeep excursions.  The next day he contacted me, excited, and said, “Guess what, they put me in charge of washing and fueling the Jeeps!” Bobby just didn’t accept his situation, he found the positive in it. 

 

Of course, someone with a mind as wonderfully different as most people’s wasn’t without a bump or two.  I tried to explain to people who didn’t know him that Bobby was a like a twelve year old boy, except with 40 plus years of experience.  He had an innocence of thought of a pre-adolescent and the ability of a grown up to pull people into his world without them knowing it.  Now - this wasn’t being mean or deceitful - it was just his reality.  Bobby was always convinced that he was going to come into a large sum of money.  So he would go on line and find these amazing million dollar homes and contact the local relator explaining that he was ready to make a deal - but he would close the call by saying, “please call my brother-in-law, Rich Brown, he handles all of my finances.  Here’s his number.” 

 

Bobby had one true love in his life outside of his family - and that was the state of Alaska.  What started as a wall mural and a magazine subscription in the 1980s grew into a lifetime appreciation of Alaska.  He worked there a half a dozen times.  After speaking to his friends Andrew and Brittney in Skagway and looking at his social media posts and his personal belongings - it is fair to say that some of his best times were there. Proof that only the biggest state in union could fit Bobby’s heart and mind. 

 

He was thankful for his family. In his last few days he told us he appreciated all that we did for him. He thanked his sister’s Linda and Lisa for standing by his side this last month and a half. And told his mom, Betty, what a good mother she was. We can all learn from that example of sincerity and appreciation. And if there is one thing I can take away from his time on earth it is that Bobby was unique.  In his uniqueness we were blessed to know Bob Blockus and the very best parts of him makes us aspire to be better people.  

 

Bobby always closed his on line conversations by giving the peace sign, thumbs up, and a verbal “Cowabunga”. In closing - in thinking of our lives without him - I will use his other closing,

 

“oh dear.”