Rule: Never Coach Your Kids

I have had a general rule in my life that I have maintained even before I had children; never coach the kids.  To be clear, this is my rule only. I do not impose this rule on other parents who nobly pick up the mantle of "Coach" and take their offspring and a dozen other kids into the arena of youth sports.

I simply do not have the temperament to be a coach. I have too much Army in me and doubt I have the ability not to become a raging A-hole.  When I was an ROTC instructor, that temperament suited me, the Army, and my Cadets very well.  Last month I ran into one of my former students, a Cadet from the first year I instructed Army ROTC.  He is married now with kids who are the boys ageish. He is a PhD and way up in his state's secondary education system.  We shared stories about that year - stories about Captain Brown. Lisa, incredulous that I was ever that mean, was regaled with stories that indicated that I may have caused another human being PTSD.

I really enjoy watching the kids engage in sports. TJ runs and I stand in the fourth turn cheering him on. Grant plays volleyball and has a wicked serve that most kids can't return.  But I can feel that urge to want to yell Grant's team when they are clearly not working together as a unit, or when individuals make the same mistakes. I imagine having to restrain myself from yelling at a bunch of 12- and 13-year-olds, and then punishing them with Front-Back-Gos until I get tired.  

I did coach on the town's Cross Country team. That consisted of a bunch of Middle School aged kids who ran for 40 minutes in various drills; Ultimate Frisbee, sprints, Last Man Up drills, etc. I was easy to coach because with running you generally get better the more you run. I even had TJ on the team! I would still get irritated if I saw kids holding back or not running to their potential, but for the most part it was a good experience.  

I don't want to steal the fun of playing by being that parent who over-coaches their child from the official sidelines. After a track meet or volleyball game that didn't go very well it is a lot easier when all you have to say is "better luck next time, buddy."