Bad Boy, Bad Boy

This journal has long described the fun, quirky, and silly exploits of the Brown Family.  And those stories are all true. However, with all of the good stories there has to be some that are not fun to write.  This is one of them.  But if we are to be honest as a family then it needs to be told.


Like it or not, sometimes you have to face the reality of what is in front of you. TJ is suspended from school for a day for behavior that is considered - and written up as - bullying.  Today, our son is that kid.  

It is behavior that is so out of the norm for him and us as a family that it is blindsiding.  We do not label people by specifics such as race, creed, intelligence, or physical ability.  We might tease one another in the family but it is never mean spirited and we never tease beyond the point of a good laugh.  

TJ is picking on a kid in his class.  Just one kid.  And he is leading his class in the dogpile.  Whoever this kid is, the kid is not mainstream and is a bit of an outcast to begin with.  TJ has managed to further alienate the student.  

We all know this kid from our youth.  This is the boy or girl who was just different; too tall, too fat, too unattractive, too different from the rest of us.  We picked on them and marginalized them.  Some of us might have even been one of them. Back then we didn't have the resources to confront a bully.  Today, all of society knows about bullying and the damage it can cost.  Today, there are resources at home and in the school for kids who are on the receiving end of this behavior.

TJ is a sweet and gentle kid.  Even with his brother he exhibits a long fuse and a good temperament.  The fact that he has picked on this kid in school over the course of the year is just baffling.  While he is remorseful I am not sure that he has fully embraced how to walk away from the circumstances that could lead to a confrontation.  As he enters Middle School in the fall this will be a careful edge for him to walk.  He can be the center of attention as the class clown or the center of attention as a leader of doing the right thing.  He has the potential to go either way despite our efforts to steer him towards the latter.  

TJ knows I am writing this and is uncomfortable with the world knowing his business.  Maybe that discomfort is a good thing.  Coming to the realization that the world looks at you might help modify his behavior to conform to acceptable behavior.

A Generation Apart

Mom has been gone 11 years this week but she is still not without a surprise or two.  

Last week we went to Florida to get some of mom's belongings.  The reason for the trip is another long story in itself - maybe for another time.  I didn't know what I was getting, just that she had some personal effects plus her ashes in an urn.  What we found absolutely floored me.

We found old pictures of my mom and dad.  Some photos, specifically, of their wedding day.  Pictures that until I saw them, I never knew existed.  I never knew there were pictures of the day my parents eloped.  To provide some context, dad was married once before - for less than a year - and was marrying a non-Catholic woman (mom, a Lutheran) for his second time around.  There wouldn't be a church wedding.  Nonetheless, it turns out, mom did have a wedding dress and there was a ceremony.

But the bigger surprise was how much Samantha looks like her Grandma.  So much so it is uncanny.  While these few pictures do not do the comparison justice , there are enough to see that they could easily be mistaken for each other.  I get the chills just looking at them.  Not only that but Sam's affect in the pictures she poses for is very similar to mom's when mom was just a few years older.

In some of the other photos you can seem my mom's affect in the way she poses and smiles.  These are characteristics I see in the way Sam poses and smiles.  And since there is 11 years since mom passed, it isn't like Sam learned this from being around her grandma.

I always thought my niece, Alyssa, looked like Sue Brown, but now there is no denying that Sam inherited those genes too.  Even more so. 

Mom - we miss you - and now we get to see your reflection in your granddaughter.  You would be so proud of her. 

Tar Heel Born, Tar Heel Bred

So technically I'm not Carolina born or bred but good luck telling that to me now. Over the weekend I opened a decision letter from UNC Chapel Hill, figuring I would get my first rejection out of the way. Being one of the top public schools in the country, out of state transfer admission is extremely difficult to obtain. However to my great surprise, and excitement, I saw this screen offering me admission to Chapel Hill:

I started crying immediately and FaceTimed Brittany who was asleep (we had just been talking the night before how unlikely it was I'd get in), before running into my moms room crying to tell her.I accepted admission last night with my mom. 

I have a lot of feelings about all of this. I'm overwhelmed by this. I didn't expect to get in, and here I am, attending in the fall. I'm scared to fail. I know I wont but it still scares me.

Dad says he can help get me into ROTC, which is amazing considering I've wanted to be in the army since I was small. I know that I'm a leader, it's just scary to be at the starting point of something unknown.