Monday, April 30, 2012

An Open Letter to Our Children

Dear Kids,

We love you very much.  All three of you.  All at the same time.  You give us endless joy each and every day.  Without a doubt you are the center of our universe and we are all the better for it.  But before we were parents, we were a young couple without kids, and for a day and a half this weekend we got to be those two people once again!

Thanks to two babysitters, Emma C. and Emma J., and Grandma as a back up, we went to Wilmington, NC without you!  A whole twenty-seven hours without parental responsibilities.  It turns out we're still a little cool and can still relive a little of the past.  Of course it helps that Wilmington is a lot like Ithaca, NY - only in the South and on a river.  Except for the water/ocean/southern style theme in the stores, historic downtown is remarkably like Ithaca Commons.

The artisan shoppes at the Cotton Exchange with hand blown glass works, paintings, pottery, and antiques are no different than any store we used to walk through in two minutes in Ithaca.  That's not to say there wasn't some really nice things to look at, but it was hard not to think we hadn't seen it before.  The people didn't seem much different either.  The streets were full of with college students, stoners, bikers, tattoo artists, freaks, geeks, gays, and tourists.  It made us feel more at home to people watch.


In the middle of the day we walked from our bed and breakfast inn down onto to Front Street - which, although clearly in its second life as a tourist attraction, was well past whatever prime it had seen in the 1950's, '60's, or maybe even '70' - and into the Front Street Brewery and ordered beer first and food second.  Without you to look after and answer to every other second we could catch a little buzz off of their IPA and ESB brews and continue on to the next bar - although, to be honest we didn't have another drink for a while - but we could have if we wanted too!  A pub crawl has never really been our thing, but if we didn't have other plans for the rest of the day we could have visited ten different bars all within a half mile of one another.

On the roof top bar on Front Street we got to watch the sun start to drop behind the USS North Carolina across the Cape Fear River, without worrying about any of you dropping something (like yourselves) off the side to the pavement six stories below.  We talked about things that were on our mind; our cares and concerns, work and life and the balance we try to find between the two.  Most importantly we talked about our love for one another and how truly blessed we are. 

I rediscovered my sense of humor exclaiming out loud as we left that establishment, "Lisa, I'm sorry.  I didn't know it was a clothing optional bar," as other patrons entered. Almost as funny as, "What do you mean the baby isn't mine?!," I say in Wal-Mart.  And if I had a dry erase marker on me I might have changed their sign on the street level too!  Next time.

Thanks to Lisa's reality TV savvy, we went out to dinner at Catch - a very nice and very expensive restaurant that we could never, ever, have taken you to.  E-v-e-r.  It is owned by a man who was on Top Chef, and well, of course we had to go because he-was-on-TV!  It was great to have food that was over the top in its presentation and taste.  Truly the best calamari I ever had and the best rice, yes rice, I ever tasted.

We got to be adults who could get a little drunk, have a little adventure, and not worry about which one of us was putting you to bed!  We didn't stay out late - but we could have if we wanted to!  And we got to sleep in late.  A rarity for us!  Being met with breakfast already to go, not having to cook or clean up afterwards - Oi! what a treat.   

Sunday morning we just walked around the old neighborhoods around 2nd and 3rd Avenue without an agenda but taking in the homes with wrought iron gates, big wood doors, and historical markers on the front of most of them.  I reminded myself and Lisa that my handyman skills are somewhat limited and that a house like any of these would take constant maintenance lest either one of us get grandiose ideas of owning such a home.  In fact, I think we settled on an RV with some ramblings about a sailboat.  Before we got in the car for the drive home we discovered something else...
 
Kids, we have a love between us that exists without you.  That's not a bad thing, or selfish, or mean.  We don't get to have that too often because of the love that we share as a family.  Over the next two decades we will watch each of you grow and leave us for your own lives and loves.  We will be taking more of these trips before we ever find ourselves with an empty nest and no idea what do next.  They will be longer and farther away too! 

Don't worry we'll send you a postcard. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Peter Pan Meets Cinderella

April.  The time seems to go by so quickly between posts.  It seems like there is never enough time to catch up in the family journal while life seems to be going at 100 mph.

The boys are 4 1/2 and 16 months now, caught in that perfect age of innocent splendor.  Everything centers around what is in the moment and next week is a long time away.  It's April and TJ is looking at toys for Christmas with no concept of how far away that it is - next Friday, maybe? 

On our staircase are an arrangement of photos from the last seven years.  There is Samantha at 7 in an inner tube in Cayuga Lake.  TJ, at 18 months at the Cortland Pumpkin Festival.  I have memories of those days, but so much has taken place since those pictures were taken that it's hard to remember what the kids were actually like as toddlers and kids. 

It's almost possible to fathom them in five years when we see the other kids who are nine-ish around the block, but imagining TJ and Grant at 14 and 11 - ten years from now, is difficult because there are only the slightest of hints of the boys they will turn into.  And so they are trapped in the here and now, forever a little boy and forever a toddler.


It's hard to remember Samantha at 4 years old since I am giving her, her first driving lessons this week.  Ten years ago my life was still in transition and I was not on the same solid ground as I am now.  I was absorbed with my own here and now and my memories are fuzzy.  And that's why I want these two to stay this young forever.

Forever sweet and adorable.


As a sign of everyone getting older, "Auntie Tina" came to town with her son, Hanson.  She holds a special place in our lives.  Tina was Lisa's housemate in graduate school in San Diego and was the maid of honor at our wedding.  Tina was also once Cinderella at Disneyland (and Alice in Wonderland).  Given our affinity for Disney we think that's cools.  We told TJ about her alter ego but TJ didn't really have the ability to connect that Cinderella was not actually Cinderella.  I mean, how could she possibly be Auntie Tina too?!

Everybody grows up.  Some do it better than others.  The boys and Samantha stay forever young in the photos and home movies we have of them.  A ransom against their own kids one day, but for now a great place to start to tell the stories from when they were young.