Giving You the Bird(s).

TJ and I decided to set up the camera in places where our birds come to feed.  It was a fun little experiment with the stands and clamps I made last year.  I have not used the GoPro in a while but the mood has suddenly struck me.

We were able to get up close and personal with the birds who visit our feeders.

The second part of this video is great because if you look carefully there are birds everywhere - on  the feeders, on the ground, and in the air.

It's spring in North Carolina and the world is reborn.

Family Room Fun!

The boys are finally big enough to send them upstairs to play without worrying about a toddler barrel rolling down the stairs.  We have this great loft play area that we, the adults, have agreed to give over to the boys and their toys so that the downstairs living room does not look like a Toys-R-Us exploded.



However...



Without a doubt the boys are, um - clingy. 



To mom.
 

Exclusively.



Exhaustively.



I think we have a good family dynamic.  We eat dinner together.  The kids have access to us whenever they need it.  Even when we are on the toilet or getting changed.  They can come up into bed and hang out in the morning.  But we need some space! 



The loft has big comfy couches, a Xbox, TV, games, and lots of space for their toys.  All of the things to lure them are there - now we need to convince them to go up there and play.  Especially while were are making dinner.  That's our time - Lisa and me - to unwind and enjoy some conversation.  So go upstairs and PLAY!



One thing we did was to decorate the upstairs in Disney style.  We picked our favorite family photos to turn them into wall art. Then we came across a set of twelve,12"x18" retro Walt Disney World attraction posters that we framed and hung down the hallway.  My favorite is the Monorail.  It is just enough Disney without being pretentious but being interesting at the same time.  Lisa and I have been in the Downtown Disney Art Store plenty of times looking for just the right piece of art to hang upstairs and ended up buying a dozen posters and framing them for a fraction of the price. 

The more fun we make the loft area for them the more the boys will be willing to play there.  Right?

Well...this evening Lisa and I watched the UNC vs. UVA ACC Semi-final while the boys played Xbox.   It might be working!

Missing

These are the last pictures I have of Samantha. We have not spoken since August 9, 2014 - seven months.

She said some things that cannot be excused unless she apologizes and her asking for forgiveness is beyond her 17 year old reach.  With her temperament and attitude I don't know when or if she will find those words. 

It took me forty years to learn how to forgive and ask for forgiveness - and more importantly - forgive myself for my own mistakes.  I manage my expectations for Sam against this knowledge.  It might be a long time before she is ready for that step.

It has not been easy being without a daughter who already makes herself distant both physically and emotionally.  Missed holidays, missed trips, missed family interaction.  We are a family living a good life but with a piece missing.  All of those events are enhanced by Sam's presence.  In those rare moments that she let's her guard down her sense of humor and astuteness bring out so much more in the moment.

August 7, 2014

It's even harder having to hear her life through an ex-wife who only contacts me with the dramatic, intensified, roll-your-eyes-what-happpened-now news with a heavy dose of the sacrifices she has had to make over the last twelve years.

The boys are not really aware that Sam is gone from the family dynamic. Her room is still there as it was.  Her pictures are still on the walls.  Seven year olds and four year olds live in their own bubbles of friends and fun.  It's hard for them to notice that they don't talk to their sister.  I am blessed that they have each other but sad that she does not have them.

Sam is a on a journey that might produce some amazing results.  She might live the life less lived.  But there is a lot of failure in a journey like that.  And it's an intense struggle to figure it out at 17.  Heck, most 27, 37, and 47 year olds can't figure it out.  Unfortunately, the trip is a maze right now; filled with dead ends and double backs and she can't see over the wall to know which direction is right.  I can't help her.  She doesn't want it.

It aches to sit on the sideline knowing that my involvement will only make things worse.

I miss her every day.

Pool Time

A little video from last year's vacation to Walt Disney World with the boys and their cousins.

We stayed at our "back up" resort, Saratoga Springs, and went to our favorite pool - The Paddock. Although a little on the chilly side, the water was warm enough to get in and stay in and the setting sun created Lisa's favorite light.  

Unfortunately, the boys wanted me out of the water on the water slide.

And this is Grant's FIRST time on a water slide, watch as concern is replaced by fear and is quickly replaced by thrill, only to be replaced disappointment that his face got wet.  TJ, on the other hand, is a ham.

CLICK THE PICTURE!