Our Newest Family Member

I don't know why it really started, but back in September I was hell bent on getting a dog. . .or at least looking for a dog. Rich's condition was that it needed to be a rescue. My conditions were that it needed to be a running dog so that I could have a companion on my runs, and that it needed to be female (we have enough males in the house). TJ and Grant's conditions were that it needed to be cuddly, fun to play with and, preferably, a puppy. With these criteria clearly outlined, I turned to the web.

Immediately I was overwhelmed. Facebook, Rescue sites, County SPCAs, Farms, and Craig's List. Applications, meet and greets, red tape and lots and lots of pit bullish dogs. I would send links to Rich showcasing a few cute dogs. He would just reply "cute" and not much else. I was waiting for Rich to take the lead. I was waiting for Rich to help me sort through the madness and bring home the perfect dog. Apparently, he wanted me to own the process and in turn feel more accountability for our decision and all of the responsibility that comes with dog ownership.

Our first visit to meet a dog brought us to North Raleigh. I was compelled by the cute picture of the puppy and her story. This little dog, at 6 weeks old, was thrown from a car window. Unwanted. Abandoned. She had a raw spot on her head that spoke of the sadness when you looked at her. How could anyone do that to a dog? She was a sweetheart. She had a good disposition despite her history. Yet I was not ready to commit. It was clear that TJ and Grant were still unsure how to interact with a dog. Grant got very upset when the puppy scratched her-- she was just trying to play. And I was still waiting for Rich to take the lead, to say "yes" and take care of all of the details. But "yes" never came.

Next visit brought us a beagle. I have always loved this breed of dog and Poly still hold a piece of my heart. True, not a real runner, but they are soooo cute. I connected with a beagle rescue non-profit. Very well run. Lots of volunteers and a good selection of dogs. We had a home visit and it was good to see the kids warm up a little more to a dog. They actually played with the beagle. Yet it was strange that the foster mom kept this dog on the leash the whole time it was at our house. "You know those beagle noses," she said. "Takes them places they shouldn't go. In fact, you are going to need a fence." A fence? With our back yard? No way. I liked our open yard to the pond. It was one of the selling points of the house in the first place. I started to feel that the process we were going through as potential beagle owners was more stringent than adopting a kid from China. This was made even more clear to me when I received an email that said we were "unfit" to bring home one of their dogs once they learned that we surrendered Poly to the SPCA in New York. I was enraged and responded with a flippant email that never got a reply back.

After this experience I was even more determined to find a dog. We were a good family that would make good pet owners. No adoption agency would tell me otherwise. I had also narrowed my search to a few breeds: Brittany Spaniel, German Short Hair, or some sort of Australian Shepard strong runner. No more beagles for this girl! One weekend day, Grant and I visited a hunting preserve that bread Brittany's and "GSP"s as they were called. Love these dogs. Yet I was not very happy with the conditions that the dogs were kept. These were clearly dogs intended for hunting. They were in cages outside and only used to hunt. Besides, the owner of the preserve wanted a lot of money for his puppies. I knew Rich would never go for it. I could rationalize that we were "rescuing" the dog from terrible conditions, but Rich would never see it that way.

Through the "Moms of South Lakes" Facebook group, I learned of an adoption agency called Underdog Ranch. One of the moms started fostering kittens for them. I asked her to keep an eye on their dogs for me and she directed me to two possibilities. One was named "Malibu Lucie" a beautiful Australian Shepard-- white and tan-- almost a soft and furry version of a Brittany. Grant and I went to visit her the same day we went to the hunting preserve. I immediately fell in love with Lucie. She was automatically drawn to me as well. She would stay on my lap while I petted and stroked her. She was calm and cautious. At seven months old, she was still clearly a puppy, but out of the "needy puppy" phase of I pee and poop wherever I like and I can't sleep through the night. She was also most likely the size she was expected to be, so no surprises of getting a too big of a dog.

But my biggest hesitation with this girl was discovered when she climbed off of me. I was COVERED in dog hair. Ugh! We have a shedder. I just did not want to be one of those people who is always covered in dog hair and my Sea Gull Patagonia vest was a clear indication of the future that awaited us if we took this dog. And so I left the house feeling a bit defeated and torn.

Later that week, I convinced Rich to take a car ride to Pender County (think almost Wilmington) to see a dog that was posted as an urgent rescue. On the NC Rescue website he was listed as a Brittany. This was the first Brittany I had ever seen posted as a rescue. We called the SPCA and told them we would be down that afternoon. They put a 24 hour hold on him. When we got there, I was a bit disappointed because this "Brittany" was more Pitt Bull. Strong. Full of Grrrr. He would not fit well with us. I would not fit well with him. But there were 4 puppies-- border collie mix of some sort. Cute, and Rich said he would take two. What? Two puppies? Two dogs. I was not so sure of that. But these puppies were being held for someone else, so we left our names on a waiting list.

My heart kept coming back to Lucie. I talked with people at work about dogs and dealing with shedding. Any dog is a problem, they said. You get used to it. Get a roller for your clothes. A Roomba is the game changer when you have pets. I listened. Now I had to introduce Rich to Lucie. Maybe he would talk sense into me. Maybe he was allergic to her long hair. I kept on thinking of other reasons why Lucie would not work for us.

Our second visit with Lucie was a long one. The foster mom was a talker and Rich proved to talk on and on too. Lucie knew me right away and came right up to me. She was a little more reserved with Rich. I thought he was the dog whisperer?  This dog was unsure. In our conversations we learned that Lucie was abandoned as a puppy on the side of the road in Johnson County. She was a white fluff ball. Underdog Ranch took her in and found her a home quite quickly. A family from Chapel Hill who wanted a Corgi Mix-- a smaller dog. They raised her through the puppy months and she grew and grew. So much that they were not able to handle her puppy energy and size. They returned her to Underdog Ranch. But before they returned her they did a dog DNA test to find out what kind of dog she was. The test results came back "Afghan Hound and Greyhound". This of course astonished all of us. Afghans are those long haired dogs you only see on that televised dog show after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Greyhound? She may be fast, but its kind of hard to imagine any greyhound in her. She is just way too fluffy. So the big mystery is that we really do not know what breed Lucie is. Collie, Shepard, Afghan, Spaniel? A combination of all? Hard to tell. She was just so unique. And I think that is why I was growing fond of this dog.

November 10th we brought her home-- actually the foster mom brought her to us. Rich was out of town. I was in charge. It was my decision. Yet, in my mind I kept telling myself, "we will try it for a week. Get through thanksgiving with the dog and then I can always give her back. Too much hair." But she stayed. Its now January 23rd and Lucie is with us. A part of our family. Lucie is in her forever home.

Though this process, Lucie has become my dog. I am her human. I chose her and I take responsibility for her. I know Rich wanted it this way. I am invested. Lucie follows me around the house. She wants to be where I am. It's sweet. Yet, now I have three children following me around. I can't seem to get a break!  I know in a few years that will change and it will be down to one following me around. And I am okay with that. She is so perfect for our
home. She is loving,  playful,  fluffy, cuddly, a rescue, a female, and a good runner. She is our Lucie girl. I wouldn't want it any other way.




P.S. We did get a Roomba. And yes, it is a game changer. 

Grumblethumpkin

There is a Grumblethumpkin at the end of the hall
It resides just on the other side of the wall

It lurks there behind the door that is closed
I fear if I knock I will be de-nosed

Once upon a time
How her smile did shine

But now she is indisposed

Samantha has been with us since November.  Wait, let me back up.  Sam made her apology (difficult as it was) back in June, on the day after she graduated from High School.  We went from a text once in a while to a couple phone calls in the summer/fall, to a two week visit in November that stretched out for three months.  It's been an interesting time.

Sam is stuck in neutral.  She's unsure if she going to engage with college, part time jobs, or (shudder) something less.  She is clearly not living up to her potential and needs to decide if she just wants to set a low bar and achieve mediocrity or emerge from the fog of adolescence and seize something great. 

She doesn't seem to be frustrated by it.  The rest of us are. 

Sam spends most of her time buried under blankets in her room, door closed, binge watching Friends, Bones, and other mindless TV candy that does nothing to challenge her.  Of course, if no one is home she emerges to eat bowls of cereal, play Xbox; an entire campaign game in a month, and clean her body at least once a week.  This is a "Gap Year" she claims.  I'm sure that the definiation of a Gap Year is something other than lethargy.

While she is less surly than in the past she is full of advice on how we should raise the boys.  <insert eye roll here>  She has an incredibly high opinion of her average accomplishments and has such a thin skin that it is impossible to talk to her about what she's going to do next and her plan to get there.  Although, her ideas have been entertaining.  Two-year college in Boston, join the Army, go to Culinary School, become a high cost Escort (not kidding), and becoming a personal cook to families in our neighborhood have all been floated.  And then, last night, she told me she wanted to change her name to "Alex" because she likes it better. 

Lisa and I have had to have thick skin to listen to Sam's unfiltered verbal assaults; watch this show NOW (to me), you used to be fun (to Lisa), punish the boys more (to us), cheat on games and in life (to the boys), mental and verbal abuse (towards her mom).  I hope this is a stage.  I hope.  I hope.  I wish mom and dad were alive to give me an idea of how Andy and I were at this age - from their perspective. 

To be fair, she's not entirely miserable to deal with.  She has all the normal teenage issues; waiting to the last minute to complete her chores, an incredible ability to spend other peoples money but little desire to earn her own, etcetera, but she can be pleasant in the process.  But the apathy is aggravating.

I would hate to be stuck like this.  I can't imagine a time when I was ever like she is now.  I even when I was out of work I moved forward in any way I could.  Therefore, I am frustrated for her.  Frustration by proxy. 

Six Months Can Fly By So Fast

It's January 9, 2016, six months since the last blog post from the 4th of July.  Where does that time go?  What is the blog for anyway?  Who reads this stuff about a middle class family from suburban Raleigh, NC?

But I digress.

The rest of the summer and fall and 2015 holiday season have been wonderful for the Brown family.  Some of the highlights include:

Going to Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge in August and spending a day at Blizzard Beach Water Park.  We even made a video of the resort's water slides.  Grant turned out to love water slides as long as he had swim goggles on.  Grant has finally gotten over getting his face wet but that boy does not like getting water in his eyes.

In August we also went to Family Camp for a few days to unwind on the Neuse River.  We brought the GoPro with us again and made movies of sailing and the zip line, which Grant went down the for the first time ever.  We even gave TJ his first driving lesson of sorts.

In August, TJ began 3rd Grade in Mrs. Stevens' class and Grant entered his last year of Johnson Pond Learning Center.  That means this is the last year we give up the equivalent of a mortgage payment every month for his care.  That will be a nice relief to our monthly expenses when he enters Kindergarten this fall.

In October I pinned on the rank of Colonel.  I real milestone in any military career.  This particular round of promotions only had a 40% selection rate.  Getting this far is more than I ever imagined when I started and I am honored.  Sure, I know I earned it - and I know I earned it by taking care of Soldiers and the units under my command - but still, I always think it will be someone else who is more qualified.  The boys pinned me and I can only hope that they pass on the tradition someday by wearing the uniform too.

Shortly after my promotion, Lisa and I headed to Key West for our ten year anniversary.  She convinced me to rent a convertible and our drive from Miami was spectacular once someone helped us get the top down.  We arrived at Mallory Square just in time for the sunset.  Our next few days were fun and kid free!

In November Sam reunited with us after a long silence and absence from our lives.  And she came back and just stayed.  She is stuck between high school graduation and whatever comes next.  She's not ready for college nor is ready for the responsibility of a full time job.  While she catches her breath and gets her bearings she is safe with us.

In November we also added Lucie to the family.  She is a long haired, Border Collie mix who is a perfect temperament for the kids, Lisa, and me.  Lucie was almost immediately loyal.  She loves to run and her loyalty allows us to let her run off leash.  Sometimes with hysterical results.  While she was shy with us at the beginning, Lucie loves other dogs at the Fuquay Varina Dog Park.  The herder in her comes out as she runs down other dogs.

We had Betty, Bobby, the Kirks over for Thanksgiving along with Lisa's good friend, Tina, and her son, Hanson.  There was a full house of kids and adults and we managed to pull it off without any drama.  An hour of appetizers, two turkeys, three dessert pies, several bottle of wine later and we all settled down to a movie and bed.

Christmas followed shortly behind.  The warm weather had everyone in shorts for most of the month with temps in the 70s.  For Christmas I tried to stick to a theme of one present to read, to wear, a want and a need.  The attempt to keep Christmas smaller failed.  Once again the kids have presents that they opened and have not touched since.  Drives me crazy that we do this to ourselves and in the process teach a lesson to the kids that gifts have no value.  Things just show up - whether you want/need them or not.

Again we ushered in the in New Year with our wonderful neighbors.  Another reason we love this part of our lives is for people like the Harans, the Tilsners, the Ennis family, and everyone else in South Lakes who we share our lives with.  While I otherwise am neutral about living in North Carolina, these people have made it worth it.

And now we are up to date.


So why the blog?

The blog is for you.  And by, you, I mean Samantha, TJ, and Grant.  This blog is a reflection of what life was like for all of when you were children.  Each entry is a snapshot of a moment or period, taken through a filter of a dad and a mom.

We love you.