Unfamiliar Territory

I share in Lisa's anxiety in this waiting game.

Samantha was born six weeks pre-mature. Her mother was very ill with a pregnancy related disease called toxemia. Her kidneys shut down and she had to be induced. It was an ordeal that took all of the control away from us as parents. A high speed trip to the neonatal unit in Albany, NY. Half a dozen doctors. Half a dozen nurses. An incubator with bells and alarms. In retrospect it was overwhelming to absorb at the time.

The end of that pregnancy came sooner than most. There was no waiting to the due date. There was no anticipation of waking in the middle of the night. There were no bags packed and loaded in the car. It was immediate with little time to react.

A lot of the emotions of "getting closer" never emerged. The only contractions were those that were drug induced in the hospital.

In many ways I am experiencing fatherhood/delivery for the first time. I might now how to change diapers but I am poorly prepared for the fact that Lisa will start contracting at home/work/dinner and expect me to get her to the hospital on time.

So, it's official - I am freaking out a little.