A New Song

Every so often, Rich becomes inspired and comes up with a super silly song that lives in our collective heads long after he is done...and he has done it again.

This past year my sister and her children taught TJ the annoying "guess what? Chicken butt" game. You know the one: in conversation you ask the person, "hey mom, guess what?" Your natural response is "what?" But the second that "what" comes out of your mouth, you know you have been had because right then, the person that asked the question quips back, "chicken butt." It's easy to laugh the first and second time, but any more then that, I lose my sense of humor and it just becomes annoying.

Well, Rich brought this game to new heights by creating a song whose lyrics come from the game. He first sang it in a high pitch falsetto voice which added to its new level of annoying, but still it got laughs in our family and we are singing it around the house practically every day.

Hey TJ, guess what?
That's right, chicken butt.
And now I'll tell you why
It's all about chicken thigh
Can you tell me where?
Chickens don't wear underware

And on and on and on it goes........

One Proud Momma

Grant's very first special award

Yes, I am a proud mom. My boys are ridiculously sweet, charming, smart, clever, hysterical, handsome, etc, etc. I know I am a bit biased because they contain at least 50% of my DNA and the other 50% comes from my wonderful husband! But every once in a while someone outside of the family thinks my boys are awesome too.

Grant received a special award last month for being a great helper. Apparently while Grant was sitting and eating lunch, a friend was struggling to reach the faucet. Seeing this, Grant snapped in to action and said, "I'll help you." He got up from his lunch and turned the faucet on for his friend and then waited for him to finish so that he could turn it off too. What a sweetheart. Total unsolicited help.  Now, anyone that knows my son at lunchtime knows how much he loves his food. So the fact that he got up from HIS lunch to help someone makes this story even better. Yep. I am a proud momma.

And the sweetness does not stop there for Grant. Often times when we are sharing a moment Grant will say to me, "Mom, you nice." The other remark he makes gets me even more choked up: "Mom, you my best friend." Could I be any luckier with this sweet, sweet boy?

He has been a joy to watch grow up.  He is silly when he is "shaking his bacon", a riot when he says to me "flush my stuff" after a successful sit on the potty. He is smart when he works to figure out how a new toy works, and he is precious when he follows his big brother around the room doing everything just like T.J.

I am blessed.

Disney Test Marketers and Skin Cancer

A post in two parts!


Disney Test Marketers

Okay - so this is cool.  We have been asked to be test marketers during our next trip to Walt Disney World!  Disney's latest and greatest concept is to link tickets, keys, FastPass+, charging ability and who-knows-what-else in these stylish RF tag Magic Band wrist bands.  RF technology is merely a chip (imbedded in the wrist band) that can send/read a signal to whatever you are doing.  For example, instead of digging through your bag at the end of a long day in a Disney park you can simply wave your wrist over the reader on the door and >click< the door is open.

We are a Disney family and belong to the Disney Vacation Club - and being members brings us a lot of joy and great memories.  But, c'mon, getting to try out something new?  For Disney?  Before the rest of the general public?  Cool.

We received an invitation/letter in the mail and after a few short clicks on the web page the bands showed up on our doorstep a couple of days later in this really neat iPhone-ish box.  Each band came in colors we picked and had our names printed on them. 

Out upcoming trip will be short but we will try to make the maximum use out of the bands using FastPass+ which will allow us to get in line on the big attractions without having to stand in line.  My hope is that we are given an opportunity to provide feedback on their innovation afterwards.  I would love for my input to be part of what improves something I enjoy so deeply for another Disney guest.

Look - I also know that the company will be able to "track" us on the property, where we go, how long we go there, what we spend there, etc. and then cross reference that against our demographics and then prompt us with ads, deals, and merchandizing.  So?  If it makes my experience better as a result I am all for it. 



Skin Cancer

In September I went to the doctor with a minor sinus infection.  While Dr. Devente was looking in my ears he noticed a reddish, dry patch of skin near my right ear.  This patch had been there for over a year or more and, although I was aware of it, never thought to bring it up to my doctor.  "We need a biopsy," turned into, "I'm referring you to a skin doctor to have that cut out of your face."

Some time ago, long before there was sunscreen, our parents sent us outside to play all day.  Sometimes as vain teenagers we applied suntan oil to our bodies.  Protect ourselves from the sun?  Who does that?!  And somewhere twenty or thirty years ago I spent too much time in the sun and decades later it became skin cancer.

Not CANCER cancer.  Skin cancer.  Basal cell carcinoma, the most common type of skin cancer. Skin cancer is not the type of cancer to metastasize and spread to organs but it is the type you don't want in your body either. 

So last week I spent three hours in the Cary Skin Center with a face full of Novocaine.  The Mohs procedure "surgery" was special in that the doctor was able to cut out sections of the cancer and then analyze them right there in the office to determine when all of the cancer was removed.  Instead of having to guess or approximate how deep to go, the doctor only cut out what was necessary.  The whole process took three hours and I was able to sit and watch my iPad (knocking out two episodes of Ken Burns' Civil War) between slices.

On a final note.  I try to be ever present of my surroundings - its just a thing I do.  While waiting in the waiting room I became very aware that I was the youngest patient in the office by at least twenty-five years.  Maybe thirty.  And I think I may end up back there from time to time when/if they find more skin cancer.

Holy smokes, if were cutting off pieces of me now what will be left of me at 76?

Dance Party USA

Welcome to post 200!

Wow - we have been boring family and friends for seven years and two hundred posts!  Good thing this is a fun one...

Grant's cranky.  TJ has Tae Kwon Do practice.  Grandma needs some help at her house.  The lawn needs mowing.  There are so many things on top of work that often get in the way of having fun.  We plop the kids in front of the TV to fill the spaces between one event and the next.  We often miss out on simple fun.  And then there's Dance Party USA...

Dance Party USA is any time we move the furniture, let our inhibitions down a little bit, turn up the music and be silly.  Lisa has a mix of music that includes Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, LMFAO...camp friendly music with lots of energy.  Most of the time it's just the family but every once in a while we let our friends in on the action. 

The kids have no rhythm or coordination, but then neither do the adults.  It's frenetic fun for fifteen or twenty minutes. 

The other night we invited our new friends Joe and Brittany over with their three girls; Annabelle, Molly, and Emma.  The girls are absolutely lovely and super adorable and the five kids get along wonderfully.  Even though we are just getting to know them they seem like a nice family.  We told them we would do a movie and at the last minute told them to come over prepared to dance!

The girls showed up in dresses.  TJ - in his sweat pants and NC State shirt - took one look at the girls quickly charged up stairs to get changed.  I can't tell if he's smitten with one of them or all of them but I can tell you he came down in nice shorts and dress shirt.  If there was aftershave available to him I am sure he would have been stinking from it.

Dance Party USA took off at a fever pitch and the girls instantly "got it".  Kids and parents all getting onto the dance floor.  Dads with sons, moms with daughters, kids trying to dance with each other and failing wonderfully.  Beautifully.

A Day in the Life

5:30am
Lisa's alarm went off.  Ours is a nice gentle beeping that starts low and gets louder and louder until you turn it off.  Because I haven't been sleeping well lately, Lisa went down stairs to do her Bible study and I went back to bed.

6:00amish
Grant came in to the bedroom and bee-lined to mommy's side of the bed.  When he found out she wasn't there and was actually downstairs he happily headed down to her.  I went back to bed - more awake now with the sounds of Grant and mommy talking floating up the stairs.

6:33am
Grant came bursting in with mommy right behind, "Coffee, daddy!"  And, magically, a blessed cup showed up at my nightstand.

6:47am
In the shower and talking to Lisa as we plan the day.  Grant is playing with the iPad and TJ is still asleep.

7:41am
Lisa is out the door to meet her workmates for a trip to Camp.  She quietly slipped out while Grant was watching an episode of Mighty Machines, his new favorite show.  I put breakfast on the table for the boys - cereal and a banana - while making sure TJ had his lunch packed.

8:09am
Running late, I dropped off TJ with grandma realizing that his book bag and lunch are still in the house.  Fortunately, Betty lives in the same neighborhood as us so she was able to stop by later on and get it.

8:15amish
Dropped Grant off at day care with a piggy-back ride from the car to the classroom.  Grant wasn't giving out the love this morning and once he realized mommy had left got down right ornery.  At least leaving him off at day care he gave me a hug and kiss.

8:21am
Drove to Ft. Bragg to work listening to NPR discuss the situation in Syria - the latest developments of Syria offering to hand over their chemical weapon stockpiles to Russia being an unexpected twist.

9:06am
Work.  Ugh.

11:51am
Left for lunch with my buddy Charles to discuss the new budget, his migraine headache, and the latest machinations of the command climate.  The food court at the Ft. Bragg mini mall is a great place to people watch and the Manchu Wok serves a good helping of noodles and chicken.

3:47pm
Left for the commissary to buy some food for the house.  I have to admit getting my work done as early as possible in the office makes it easy to slide out a little early.  I don't mind doing the grocery shopping and taking advantage of the savings on post.  Meh.  I don't have gender based hang-ups lile who should do the shopping.

4:34pm
I received a phone call from an officer wanting to join my Reserve Unit.  I have to put it off because I am on line at the store.

4:45pmish
On the road home.  I conducted the interview and was buzzed by Lisa who is was on the verge of buying brand new furniture for the downstairs from two guys in a furniture truck.  Seriously.  The rest of the ride home was getting Lisa to negotiate with them.  Look - if you know my wife - it takes her forever to make a decision on big purchases so to have two guys show up with the stuff right there and right now...  As I pulled up the house the furniture was coming off the truck.

5:50pm
Picked up Grant who almost got overlooked in the furniture buy.

7:22pm
Cleaning up from home made fried rice and a teriyaki pork loin.  Lisa is enforcing the No-Playing-On-the-Couch and the boys play in the garage with their toys.  Lisa and I share the cleaning duties even though the house still smells like garlic, onions, and sesame oil. 

9:55pm
Somehow its 9:55pm.  The kids have been in bed for an hour or so.  The craziness of gettting them to bed is rather benign.  Neither of them fight it - although Grant is on our big bed.  We opened a new bottle of tequila and made a couple of margaritas.  

9:58pm
I am off to the new living room furniture to enjoy some TV.

Garage Sale 101

The results from the Fourth Brown Family Garage Sale is...(drum roll please)...$350+/- some change.

We held two garage sales in New York and, now, two here in North Carolina.  Each time we seem to make just a little more than last time.  It's a little work up front put totally fun on the day-of.

Thanks to Lisa who helped hang signs and engage customers and to Bobby who helped clean and get everything ready for the day of the sale.

Here are the Top Ten Tips (with generous thanks to Glenn Reisweber; US Army, Retired) for a good garage sale:

1.  Advertise!  Craigslist is your friend.  Put an ad with pictures and a map on the website as early as Monday before the Saturday of the event.  No kidding - people contacted us and bought items on Tuesday!  Be prepared for people to try to get to the front of the line by contacting you early.  They get to pay "full" price.
2. Re-post again on Friday night with more pictures.  Be prepared to have your dinner interrupted by "early birds" unless you specifically tell people only to come on the day of your garage sale.
3. Start at 7am but be a good spouse and work together to wrangle children, coffee, and do final set up.  This means being up at 5:30...okay, 5:45.
4. The only thing you are attached to is your spouse and children.  Everything else is negotiable.  You're selling your stuff, right?  Someone wants to buy it, right?  Okay - somewhere between the $10 you want and the $5 they want to give you is a dollar amount you can accept in order to get the stuff out of your house.  Right?!
5. Free coffee - advertised.  Dunkin Donuts.  Box O' Joe (just one).  Creamers.  Sweeteners.  Make sure you offer a cup to everyone.  Enough said.
6. Free parking - advertised.  It's whimsical but people remember it when they are making the rounds.  You didn't think you were the only garage sale that day did you?
7. Have singles on hand like you were going to the strip club (not that I know about that - I overheard it somewhere).  Be able to make coin change for the people who want to buy six 10 cent books.  Really.  People will hand you a ragged, rolled up dollar bill like it was the last one they have to buy just six books for a dime and want change back.  I don't know what they do with the .40 cents but I hope it doesn't break the bank.
8. Anything left over needs to go to the church - toys. clothes, small electronics - the church will put all of it to good use.
9. List any big items (like the 6'x3.5" mirror we were trying to sell) for FREE on Craigslist an hour after the garage sale.  Leave your address and that the items are at the end of the driveway.  Go to lunch.  When you return the items will be gone. Poof!
10. Have FUN!  Garage sales are great time to meet people - even briefly - and share some memories of good toys long past their age-range/usefulness in your home to a new life to be enjoyed somewhere else.  I learned that from Toy Story 3.  
11. (At garage sales there is always a bonus) And one final tip - have an idea what you want to do with your profits - it makes parting with old toys, household items, clothes, etc. much easier when you know there is a purpose beyond just clearing out the garage/basement/attic.

On Saturday, August 31, 2013 we made about half of one airfare to Hawaii.   Woo-hoo!

One Wet Summer

My lawn squishes when I walk on it.

Rain storms are so frequent this summer that we work it into our schedule; 5:00pm drive home, 6:00pm downpour, 7:00 - 7:17pm cook out side during the break in storms, 7:17 downpour, and so on.


No one I have spoken to remembers this much rain in a summer.  Not in North Carolina.  Not in New York.   For the first time in over five years not a single county in North Carolina is any form of a drought.  Not even a dry spell.  Not even a arid afternoon.  Aside from the obvious effect of driving everyone inside, no one seems to be complaining.  For the first time in months I have even sat down at the Xbox and played for a little bit.  I mean, sure, the grass needs mowing but it's like a swamp out there.

Today it poured for a solid hour.  Big, thick, hard drops falling from the sky.  Biblical proportions of rain. It rained so hard at Ft Bragg one day that all of the streets flooded and ran like heavy streams.

At the end of the storm

We need to learn how to enjoy it.  The nice thing is that if you know where and when to look you can always find a rainbow to remind you that - eventually - the sun will come out.

You can do that.

Or build an ark.

Yikes! Better Just Post Some Pictures.

The spring has come and gone.  Too quickly.

TJ spent his first season in T-ball.  He has a lot more aptitude at this sport than he does at basketball.  Of course, somewhere in the time between posts TJ turned six.  Six years old?!  You can certainly see the boy in his face and his features.  Gone is the toddler and cute little boy he was just twenty-four to eighteen months ago.  In place of that child is this good looking, easy going, funny boy that we still find so adorable.


Samantha finished her season with the Triangle Rowing Club and made a few good friends who then descended on our house every other weekend for movies, food, and a place to hang out.  It really reminded me of my teenage years hanging out at the Chris Lieby's house - a bunch of teenagers with lots of opinions, deep stomachs, and a love of VHS movies.  man - remember having to r-e-n-t movies at a store?  Passe to be sure, but not that long ago.  Sam's Crew crew has that same feel to it - a bunch of good kids needing a safe place (and a cool dad) to hang out.

I got to fly to San Luis Obispo, CA, to attend an Army school about agriculture in fragile markets like Afghanistan.  It was one of the smartest courses the Army has ever presented because it connected all of the dots to the bigger picture of the things that are broken and just how difficult they are to fix.  I loved California from the classroom material, to the field trips to the farms, to afternoons hikes to the top of Bishop's Peak, to walking downtown, and discovering that I might just try my hand at growing a vegetable garden some day. 

Somewhere in the last six weeks I also went to a fancy-shmancy dress up dinner event with the Army in Baltimore, MD.  There was my long time friend and battle buddy from CAS3, ILE, the 403rd as Company Commanders, deployment to Iraq as Commanders, and future battalion commander peer, Dennis Greco.  There are few people in the Army who's opinion I respect more than his.  I love this man as a fellow brother-in-arms and ALWAYS enjoy his company.  

In the beginning of June I reached a milestone of my military career by taking command of the 422nd Civil Affairs Battalion.  For beyond anything I ever expected for myself, this responsibility is both an honor and a privilege.   I made a few comments to those assembled but among those comments was hoping to inspire those under my command to reach beyond their own personal expectations - in the military, in their careers, or in life.  I hope to inspire them the way I was inspired by the people who influenced me. 

After taking the battalion colors.  I was joined by my family (minus Grant who would have not been able to sit still through the ceremony).   Lisa looked amazing, as always, and I felt the pride of my own parents through my mother-in-law.  Among the highlights of that day was seeing the pictures of Betty sitting in the front seat of a HMMWV.   The day reminds me that I am truly blessed both personally and professionally. 

Of course, no update is complete without a couple of pictures of Grant.  He is also transitioning; from toddler to boy.  In the last few weeks we took the front off of his crib, took him out of his highchair, and have given him far more freedom than his brother ever had at the same age.  Grant is also becoming a lot less whiny and starting to develop a real, and really funny, personality.  He's still a Ginger and prone to a real stubborn steak when he wants - or doesn't want to do something.  His favorite thing is to cross his arms, turn his back on you, and pout - every once in a while raising an eyebrow and looking to see if you are still paying attention.


The summer is here.

Camp.

Fireworks.

Camp.

More Army stuff.

More Camp.

Life is good, stay tuned.

Just Whistle While You Work

 

TJ has learned how to whistle.

I'm not even sure how he learned to whistle.  Is the kindergarten playground a breeding ground for lip pursing and blowing?  Just what are they teaching our kids these days?!

I don't whistle very well - truth be told I whistle better on the inward breath than the exhale.  My son, however, is a little tune generator making up little ditties as he goes about his day.  They don't have any rhythm - he just makes them up as he goes along.  And that's the most beautiful part of it.

I don't know where music inspiration comes from but it's neat that there is a song in his head and in his heart always ready to get out.  

Prom Night 2013

Prom Night 2013

Samantha went to her first prom on Saturday.  She went with Christian, her boyfriend and the captain of the men's team of the Triangle Rowing Club. 

For the past five weeks we have all been subject to the daily drama of waiting to be asked, being asked, finding a dress, making plans, remaking plans, getting ready, and finally going to the prom.

Samantha looked beautiful.  Always looking older than her actual age, Sam morphed from a 15 1/2 year old girl to a stunning young woman.  Her dress was just right and her jewelry and hair were great.  They looked like they were about to have the time of their lives - with all of their lives ahead of them - they were a cute couple.

Prom is different than when I went to my senior prom in 1985.  Now you have to go to dinner separate from the actual dance.  After the prom is another party.  Lots of moving pieces driving from one place to another and I let Christian drive her.  Despite my stodginess, I said Yes (or at least negotiated to Yes) more than Sam thought I would.

To her credit Sam did a great job of following the rules we set together by making the right choices, meeting her curfew, and being responsible.  I did warn her date that I'd be up waiting - cleaning my guns - until he brought my daughter home safe and sound.  Whether or not he truly believed it is irrelevant. 

To my credit I didn't check on her via text every five minutes and held my ground when she tried to push her curfew.  

While we spent most of the day running Sam from appointment to appointment to get ready we all piled in the car in the later afternoon to go see her in her final glory.  That bit of craziness; loading the kids, getting to North Raleigh, meeting strangers, taking pictures took away from the reality of watching Sam take another stride in being her own person.  And while those strides are getting longer in distance and closer in interval - this one was stunning. 

Senior Prom 1985

Cutting the Cord

We are cutting our cable.  Off.

Yep.

The cable company has us over the barrell with a bundle of cable, internet, and phone.  Oh, you want HD channels?  That's a premium.  You want a DVR for shows you may or may not watch?  That's a premium too.  The bill is over $200 a month and do you know what? 

THERE'S NOTHING ON TV!

Seriously, $200 plus a month for shows and sports I don't watch.  In fact, none of us watch many shows that are not reruns; Sam watches a lot of Law and Order and other forensic type shows.  Yes, the exceptions are The Walking Dead and Downton Abbey, but we do not watch a lot of current TV. 

So we ditched the house phone - only telemarketers call us anyway.
We cut the cable.
We kept the internet.

We hooked the TV up to a ROKU - a brand name streaming wifi device that gives all of the shows we watch via Netficks, HULU, and 600 other on line services that do not need cable.  Are we on the cutting edge?  Maybe.  Quite possibly cable as we know it is on the way out at other, cheaper services out pace the demand of the instant gratification age.  Think about it, do you still have a rotary phone with a cord in your house?  The technology has moved on.  The younger generations are already ahead of us.  The more and more people I talk to the more and more I hear about people who have been without cable for months or longer - and they are all younger than me.

I have to admit, its scary not to turn on the TV and have to flip through channels or the guide, but then that's a stupid response.  It isn't like we can never go back to cable.  Yes, the next few months might be challenging as we learn a new way of watching TV.  The most important thing I've learned so far is that you have to know what you want to watch.  With 600 on line services you really have to know what it is you are in the mood for.  Its like going out to dinner and having to know what you want before you get there because the menu is so vast you cannot go through it all.

I apologized to my wife for cutting her into March Maddness but she just streamed the game onto her iPad. 

So why do we need cable?

Family Tree Part I

On March 17, I found out that my father's fathers father - my great grandfather, Thomas C. Brown immigrated from Ireland in 1857 at the age of 2.  Happy St. Patrick's Day!

With many thanks to my mother-in-law, Betty, who does genealogy as a hobby, a hobby with a passion; she showed me the US Census from 1920 showing my grandfather living at home with his parents and in 1930, employed as a New York State Trooper and married to my grandmother.  On this document it lists his father's birthplace as Northern Ireland.

In a strange coincidence, every generation of Browns since 1857 has had a Thomas Brown.  Thomas C. Brown had several children, one named Thomas who may have died in World War I and who may have been a twin brother to my grandfather.  Then there is Thomas, my dad; Thomas Andrew, my brother who goes by the name Andy; and then my son, Thomas Jacob, who we call, TJ.  Every generation might have intnetionally used the name within the next generation never realizing that they were extending the use of the name five times.   

For some odd reason, knowing this information about my past and where I come from seems to be very interesting to me right now.  Andy seems interested too, to the point where we are talking about traveling to Ireland if we can pinpoint where the family might be from.

I know that my grandmother was born in the United States to parents who emigrated from Germany - possibly near Garmish, Germany. Mimi, as she was called by the grandchildren, worked as a gift-shop saleslady in 1930 - before she had children.

My mom's family goes way, way back to some of the first families who came to America.  We go even farther back than Cotton Mather (a distant relative) to 1635 when his grandfather and some of the first Puritans came to escape religious persecution. 

With my parents gone, a lot of these chapters of the Family Journal need to be uncovered one document at a time.  I hope to uncover more of this story in the months and years to come.

Anniversary

Standing Over the Tigris River in 2005

Ten years ago today the campaign to remove Saddam Hussein from his regime began in Iraq.

I was just a naive Captain at the time in an Army Reserve Drill Sergeant unit in Ithaca, NY.   The thought of war, for me, was a far off notion.  I used to joke that "the Soviets would need to be landing on the Jersey shore before they mobilized my unit, and even then we might still give them New Jersey."  That's how insignificant my old unit was to a "deployment".

Ten years ago I hadn't even met Lisa yet. 

I can't remember what was going on in my life the night the war began in Iraq.  I am not even sure I watched on TV - although I must have at some point.  I am sure I watched with interested detachment.  Little did I know I would be in some of the same bombed buildings I saw on TV 18 months later.

There are a lot of remembrances today.

The war changed me.  And not for the worse, in my own opinion, sorry to say.  The war changed a lot of people's lives, and many of those lives - unlike me - were changed in horrible ways. 

There is no epiphany all these years later.  If you went to Iraq you have to draw your own conclusion as to what it all meant.  If you had a loved one in Iraq you too have to draw your own conclusions.  For those of us who served and those who loved and supported us Iraq is inextricably part of our past, present, and future.

It is what is it and will forever defy a simple explanation. 

Life Is But A Dream

"The best pace is suicide pace and today is a good day to die." - Anonymous

Bronze Medal Four

Silver Medal Eight

That quote is on our chalkboard wall - left there by Samantha the day before her first rowing regatta in over 16 months.  Sam rows for the Triangle Rowing Club, a group of middle school and high school students from the Raleigh Area.  Rowing is a unique and, dare I say, elite sport that would/could never exist at a public school so the teams exist as clubs.  The regattas are fun, social events, a lot like big picnics.  You don't see your kid race for hours on end and when you do its only for a few minutes.  However, Crew is a sport that gets the attention of colleges and women's rowing is a Title IX sport.  Ca you say, "Scholarship!?"

It's good to see Samantha smiling again.  Rowing gives her immense happiness from the competition and camaraderie and relief from the mundane existence of being a high schooler.  It's great to have her around like minded peers.  I continue to be reminded that Samantha was meant to be on or in the water; sailing, rowing, and swimming have been her favorite sports, with sailing and rowing being two things she excels at.  Against other sailors and rowers Sam might be average but since there are so few excellent rowers and sailors Sam makes average look pretty damn good.

The trip to western South Carolina was a task, not an adventure, but we all survived.   While Sam took the team bus the night before the rest of us did the trip in a day.  We won't do that again without first administering Benedryl for the kids and happy pills for the adults. 

Sam finished third in her four boat and second in her eight boat - more medals to her collection.  I got a medal once.  When I was in my twenties.  For finishing second in a 5k.  Sam's got me beat many times over in rowing medals.

Of course Sam lives for the drama of the "suffering" of crew.  The callouses, the shoulder pain, the shear insanity of "rowing as hard as you can, you-just-don't-understand."  Oh, the humanity!  Sam certainly whips it up to a frenzy.  The week before the regatta Sam couldn't stop talking about it; partly because one of the boys was/is supposed to ask her to the prom.  In the 24 hours since she got home Samantha hasn't stopped talking about each event - almost down to each stroke and has endlessly complained about her soreness and her sun burn...Again - it's great to see her in such high spirits. 

Merrily, merrily, merrily. 

Is It Me?

Grant either does not like Justin Bieber's songs or my singing.  Either way, Grant is a rough critic even at 26 months old.

Grant is not as easy as TJ was as a toddler and his moods are as fiery as his hair.  He's sweet and lovable one minute and a holy terror the next.  As I tell people, when TJ was Grant's age he was a prince.  Grant?  Prince of darkness.  If there is something you do not want him to get into then you better make sure it is hidden, tied down, and behind a locked door.

Especially your vacuum - but that's another story.

But Grant has a great giggle and loves to rough house.  Tossing him on the bed and piggie-back rides illicit cries of, "Gag-in!"  Having these two boys slow close together you can really appreciate that no two children are alike.

Grant is clearly head of TJ in speech, comprehension, and motor skills at the same age.  Without a degree in child psychology I would assume it's because he sees TJ on the scooter, reading, riding bikes, playing games and Grant naturally assumes he can do it too.  Monkey see, monkey do.

We love Grant because he isn't predisposed to either parent's demeanor.  He's too loud to be more Lisa and too adorable to be more me.  He is truly one of a kind...

And a heck of a critic!

Riding to Our Next Milestone

Another big milestone in our lives - TJ is learning to ride his bike!

TJ has been reluctant to try his bike without training wheels for over a year.  I can see it on his face every time he tries and loses his balance.  It's the look of absolute panic of not being in control.  Like his sister, he seems to struggle with balance on the bike.  It took Samantha years to learn to ride a bike and to this day I think she'd rather walk. 

I spent a lot of my pre-teen years on a bike.  I had a metallic brown bike with a banana seat and chopper style handle bars.  My parents got me a white oval plate with a black 7 on it.  Before the first BMX bikes ever hit the street this bike was the coolest thing around.

Jumps, stunts, skids, speed; I lived on that bike as did my friends. We stayed out all day and only came home for dinner when someone's mom would call for dinner.  Literally.  A mom would open the door to that kid's house and yell, "DINNER!" And in anticipation of the next question would also yell, "Now!"

Honestly, TJ is an inside kid.  Anything that has to do with being outside only last for a few minutes before he's tired, or thirsty, or wants to ask mom a question - just to get inside again.  I really hope this is a phase he grows out of soon.  And with the coming of the spring and more kids on the street to play with since last fall I am hoping the phase ends this year.  The only traffic on my street is people who live on it and if he is outside playing until we call him for dinner that would be okay with me.  Less time on the computer and on line and more time outside.

And now he is riding his bike.  It's coming to him much more quickly than in the past.  Yes, he cried when I told him we were taking off the training wheels but he was really proud of himself for not falling and riding as far as he did without me holding on to him!  And praise works.  I tell TJ over and over again how awesome he is for riding his bike.

We need to work on braking and steering.  Those are concepts that he still needs to work on.  So is taking his feet off the pedals when he stops so he can keep up right.  The poor guy forgets that without his training wheels he will fall over unless he puts his feet on the ground.

He's doing better every time he gets on it.  And there's the lesson:

You're going to fall over from time to time.  In fact, sometimes you're going to crash.  However, it's how you pick yourself up and try again that will ultimately measure success.  In life you only get training wheels for so long.

Go TJ.  Go!

Reducing My Social Media Footprint

Facebook.

Twitter.

Instagram.

TripAdvisor.

Yelp.

YouTube.

Blogger.

Our lives are on display on the Internet 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Life on line. Vacations, birth announcements, milestones, family gatherings, good moods, foul moods, break-ups, dinner, hangovers, the list is literally only limited to the activities you can do in one day and post on line. Social Media sites have more members than most countries in the world and the six degrees of separation between people becomes really blurred on a global scale.

As my confidence in using these instant gratification apps decreases, my apprehension in what is on line increases.  Its not so much what is on line; its what's on line and who can see it.  Companies market to me based on the web sites I visit and phishers, scammers, and hackers look to take my information for purposes both criminal and commercial.  

Raising children in this environment is challenging because the technology is so new, and changes/up grades happen so quickly, that people of my generation can barely keep up in order to provide proper parental guidance.  Furthermore, responsible parenting demands that you constantly check up on your kids on line.  Never think for a second that because you tell your kids not to do something on line that they won't just make up some crazy avatar name with you none the wiser.  Our kids live more on line than they do in the present, here and now, and because they don't know where the limits are (because we don't know ourselves) there is a real danger to their safety.  Am I sounding overly cautious?  Am I sounding like an "old fart"?  Maybe.  But I also know I am on to something.

Last Christmas my daughter posted a picture on Twitter that did not belong in the public domain.  While it was adolescent and dumb and ultimately benign, the real message was that photos and other status updates last on line forever .

For-Ev-Er.

I have resolved to reduce my social media footprint.  The other day I checked Facebook and discovered that I had 256 Friends.  Most were people who I connected with in the Facebook boom.  People from high school who I have not seen since graduation from Monroe-Woodbury in 1985.   Some are acquaintances from college.  A lot are former students that I taught.  Most all of them I rarely keep in touch with other than the occasional update comment. 

"Unfriend-ing" people is horrible term for Facebook to use.  Its somewhat cold and very impersonal.  Nonetheless, I have reduced the number to 187 and I am still working at it.  I don't think most people will even realize that we are no longer "Friends".  Some have deleted their own Facebook pages and I never even knew it.  The decision making process for eliminating people from the list is somewhat simple enough; do I have face to face contact with you in 2013, are you family, are you a mentor/mentee, are you otherwise important in my life?  If any of those answers were, Yes, then they stayed on list.

There is more to go, I use other sites for home movies, records of my travel, records of my running. I plan to turn down the amount of those postings, or at least keep mindful of what I am putting out there.

The irony is not lost on me that this blog is another example of my life on line.  The blog is deliberately for friends and family.  I am sure if you are reading this that you are one of those two and not a stranger just passing by.  Its a hard choice to sanitize family events and post them on line or let them remain unfiltered for the world to peruse. 

What a conundrum.  

At least I don't belong to MySpace...

An Open Letter to My Daughter

Samantha,

With full knowledge that I don't know if or when you will read this letter - I send it to you with a heart full of love, sadness, and hope.

I don't remember much about being fifteen years old.  As a sophomore in John S. Burke Catholic High School my days were taken with school work, a season of track, and the high school theater company.  I remember putting on "The Night of January 16th" by Ayn Rand - my debut - and running the mile at a track meet in 5:15 (and still finishing last).  Aside from those few fun memories I was clueless to the world around me.  I didn't know where I fit in, I had no vision of the man I would become, and my world was very limited to the next few days.

Being fifteen today seems so different.  Instant access to the world, social media, and vast knowledge at your fingertips has led - in my opinion - to an overall degradation of morality, judgement, and acceptable behaviors.  The social media scene has not only revealed behaviors that used to be far removed from public knowledge to an exponential growth in those same behaviors for the world to see.  While stunts like the "Milk Gallon Challenge" and the "Cinnamon Challenge" are juvenile acts; fight clubs, sexual encounters, bullying, and causal drug use have become social media subcultures that are gaining popularity. 

As a parent it creates a great level of anxiety.

I realize that I am becoming more and more like my own father, recalcitrant to learning how to make the current technology work for me.  I think I will be miserable in my old age trying to get my imbedded iPhone to synch with my iPaceMaker.   

I miss my little girl.


Too much of your life is online.  And that should scare you.

Sam's Valentines Flowers

Sam received flowers from her mom for Valentine's Day!

It's great when children receive presents that they do not expect - especially presents that are better appreciated by adults. 

Not knowing what to do, Sam took them out of the box, kept the paper on them, and place them in a vase.  With no water.

Sigh.

Paper removed, water added, flowers appreciated.

Deep Impact

Poor TJ is constipated to the point where he has a major blockage in his bowels.  He was starting to soil his underwear and could never predict when he needed to poop.  We finally realized that we were dealing with a matter larger than adding more fiber to his diet and took him to the doctor yesterday.

TJ has long suffered from poops that rival a grown mans, or a small horse.  No, seriously.  If there was a website to post pictures of bowel movements TJ's would be winners.  Often.  And while we used to marvel at their size, we failed to realize that this wasn't healthy.  TJ would strain until he finally got the point where he was holding it in and became impacted.

The doctor confirmed what we suspected and sealed it with an X-ray showing the blockage.  There is only one way to clear that blockage and TJ received not one, but two Fleet enemas within 12 hours of one another.

Because he hasn't learned any of the hang-ups of having things put in your butt he took his medicine with ease.  Within five minutes there was a wince on his face and loud "Ker-Sploosh".  Lisa and I helped him through the process with words of encouragement, back rubs, and helping clean up.

The good news is that with a few months of additional medicine he will get back to normal bowl movements without medicine or enemas.  The doctor thanked us for addressing this as early as we did which shocked us because we thought we waited too long.  I imagine all those families thinking that their kids were pooping their pants by accident for reasons other than a medical one.   

I am so glad that we didn't blame the child for a problem that was beyond his control.

I am so glad that TJ is getting back on schedule.

 

Report from HR

Well. . . . the underlings have been growling. . . . not happy with the HR department. Apparently, the division is not communicating enough with the outside world. . . or chronicling the chaotic happenings of a household with two children under the age of 5 and one child a full blown teenager. Oh, and not to mention that the HR department has also experienced inordinate amount of stress in the professional arena. But alas, I digress. HR must listen to the rest of the house (isn't that what HR is supposed to do?)

As HR does, we work to develop and grow future talent. A good amount of time this past hear has been spent making sure children are doing their homework, following up on school assignments and making sure that little ones know their site words. Yes, TJ has started kindergarten; and yes, he has homework that needs to be done every school night. Its not too hard. Just time consuming. Something that helps to reinforce what TJ is learning in school. And he is not quite old enough to do homework unsupervised. So someone usually needs to be there with him, and that someone is usually HR.

Grant is also one that needs some supervision. He loves to get into EVERYTHING that he shouldn't. Forget all the toys in the corner of the living room. He wants to play with the toaster, the blender, the mixer, the whisk, the scissors and he really enjoys opening up the refrigerator and helping himself to whatever catches his eye. Following him around the house is a full time job in and of itself!

And then there is Samantha. The teen that needs love and attention but doesn't want to accept any of it. Thinks she is better at doing homework on her own. Thinks she is better studying on her own. And so I give her some space, but appropriately hover during the times that i think I can influence a change in a run on sentence or remind her that studying should take priority over watching "Stick It" for the 154,845 time. She requires a bit more finesse and strategy.

As HR does, we also help counsel and support the members of the team that need direction. My brother Bob has turned a corner with his health and mental state, but that too requires upkeep. From making sure his rent is payed, to visiting him when he is lonely, to giving him gift cards so he can eat, having him committed when he is off the deep end, and then working to keep his progress moving forward is a lot of work. Of course, the operations director has been helpful in this area too. HR would never be able to do this alone. Speaking of which. . . .

As HR does, we are all about putting the right people in the right positions at the right time. And, not to brag, but I think the right person (our operations exec) is also the best person to be our communications and marketing director. Our voice to the outside world and our blogger extraordinaire. Thanks, oh great one for being so GREAT! HR will do better to report things from our perspective, but remember a lot of times HR is not able to report the details in such confidential cases.

Krispy Kreme Challenge '13

Imagine running 5 miles with 8,000 complete strangers and your friend.  Most races are like that, lots of anonymous people all bent on beating their own personal records, in various forms of physical ability, where you might know only a couple of runners.  However, typical road races are most always fun; lots of camaraderie, running stories both pre and post race, and for whatever the distance is - a sense of community from start to finish. 

Ben and I Before The Race

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is not a typical road race.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  And while I have been chased for three miles by zombies, and plan on a 5k "challenge" run in the summer, and ran the Army Ten Miler, this particular themed race is different.  Quoting the back of the T-shirt, "5 Miles, 12 Doughnuts, 2400 Calories, 1 Hour."  That's right, at the half way mark for the KKC you stop and eat a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts and then finish then next 2.5 miles with them churning in your belly until the finish.  All in under an hour.

My friend and running partner is Ben Jackson, one of the few adult friendships I really appreciate since I have moved to North Carolina.  Ben has kids close to my kids age, we go to the same church, drink the same beer, and generally share the same socio-political views.  Ben taunted me into entering this race and then started trash talking me on Facebook almost immediately after I signed up; just like any good friend would.

Starting on North Carolina State University the run goes down through Raleigh with it's halfway mark at the local Krispy Kreme.   We arrived an hour early and soon the crowd swelled to 8,000 runner and another 2,000 to 3,000 supporters.  Added to the early morning mayhem was that many participant - most NCSU students entered the costume event in the race.  Pac Man, Elvis, and UPS Delivery Guys all showed up as well as half a dozen college men in as little clothing and as much body paint as allowed by law.   It soon got so crowded that no one knew the race had started until the front cheered and the rest of us slowly began to  surge forward. 

I immediately lost Ben and began to tear through the jogging crowd by slipping to the outside and running on the sidewalk.  The first part of the run was going to be the easiest and fastest and I decided to get to the 2.5 mile point in a hurry.  A mile or so into the race I cut a corner and rolled my ankle bad enough to know that I'd need ice and ibuprofen later but not bad enough to slow down.

 

Born in Winston-Salem, NC, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are glazed culinary perfection - especially when they come right out of the oven.  The practically melt in your mouth.  When they are like that you can easily eat one and look to sneak that second one if no one is looking.

Coming around the corner there were tables lined for half a block with doughnut boxes stacked four or five high.  You grabbed a box and went to the parking lot of the Krispy Kreme and began to eat.  Of course to eat twelve doughnuts and still meet the hour time manners and etiquette go out the window.  You squish three or four together and either dip them in, or eat them with water to wash them down.  Only the most dedicated to "The Challenge" do it.

It took me a lot longer to eat my twelve than I expected.  I went with a mash of three, four times (instead of four, three time like Ben did) and it cost me time. 

The last 2.5 miles is not as hard as you might think.  All that sugar hits your system and you jolt back onto the course.

Until about half a mile from the finish.

And then you notice the weighty feeling in your gut and the sloshy motions it is doing.  God forbid you burp because it is the nastiest, vilest sweet smelling/tasting thing you can imagine.  So you slow down - even though you can see the finish line so you can finish without hurling. 

Crossing the finish line is like running into a mine field.  I never knew what a dozen doughnuts looked like after they had been eaten and then puked back up but now that I do I am good for life without ever having to see that again. 

But as I crossed I did look at the clock and it did read 59:17 (with time taken off at the start thanks to timing chip technology).  Challenge complete!

As I told Ben, "never again," he told me I might feel different about it in a few weeks and by next year will be ready to do it again. 

Probably not.  Before the race Ben and I joked that the Krispy Kreme Challenge was a dumb thing to do but probably not the dumbest thing we've ever done.  And although I didn't puke I wanted to.  I met the challenge, beat it, and am content to giving my spot to someone else next year.

Probably.

Chronicler In Chief

Looking back on 2012, one thing is clear, my partner in life, love, and raising children is woefully absent from any substantial contributions to the Family Blog.

The reason for the blog is not only for our friends and family but for the children (and one day grandchildren).  I hope that they can read entries that haven't been looked at in years; my second deployment, the loss of Rebecca, the birth of Grant, Sam moving in.  That is, of course, if computers are still around and this web site still exists. 

In 2012 as well as today we are both busy.  Lisa carries the lion's share of taking care of the kids while I take of things like cooking and taking out the garbage.  It's a busy household.  Think of it as Lisa is HR and I am Operations.

This blog is a labor of love.  It interferes with all of the other things I could/should be doing and writing is not without effort.  Trying to make a middle-class families issues sound interestingly readable (even to the writer) takes time and consideration.  Quite frankly, I could just post pictures with long captions next to them and get the same effect.  However, unlucky for all of us I am just narcissistic enough to think I can write.  Meh - maybe not. 

I think my chief complaint is that the story of this family is only being written by me and that we are missing a whole other side and aspect to it.  This is a team effort.  Mom has a say. Maybe even the kids in when they are older.



But still, a report from the HR department from time to time - now - would be nice.

Father - Daughter Trip

Best.  Picture.  Ever.

Look at my new favorite picture is me and my daughter.  The sun is setting over our shoulders as we stand in front of a topiary of Mickey Mouse outside of Disney Hollywood Studios.  Her arms are over my shoulders and the smiles on our faces each say something different.  Mine says, "after all these years I am finally to the point where I can take fun trips with my kids."

Sam and I took a long weekend over the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend to go to Orlando and use our Vacation Club.  Sam and I have long talked about a trip to the Hollywood Studios so she could ride the Tower of Terror; a ride her younger brother got to ride before she did.  I planned the trip way back in July and waited patiently until Christmas to give the trip as a present because even though Lisa and I both love Disney parks, I am the big kid ready to go again.  And again.  And again.  

Our trip coincided with the Charleston Marathon where Sam and Lisa provided support to the Run A Kid To Camp team from Camp Seafarer - almost half way to Florida!  After the race on Saturday, we got a good nights rest and drove to Orlando and the Disney Boardwalk Inn.  

I suppose some parents would dread spending a six hour drive (from Charleston, SC to Orlando, FL) and a nine hour drive home, let alone spending three days just with your offspring and no other adults.  And that was true for me too because I didn't know what we were going to talk about for all that time.  After all, there is only so much anticipation about the trip your can muster up, and trying to go over all the things you need to parent your kids about is exhausting for both.  I certainly could have dredged up Sam's missteps from 2012, but who wants to start a trip like that?!  Yet, I was also excited to be able to spend time just with her at an age where she wasn't fully independent and didn't need 100% supervision.  

It's great to be able to share a hobby with your kids.  For some its hunting, or camping, or baking, or even playing video games.  Disney has always held a special place in my heart and Sam and I both love thrill rides. Disney is our family hobby.

Tower of Terror?  Check.  Three times.

Star Tours?  Check.  Four times.

Pictures with Mickey?  Yes!

Disney parade?  You bet.

Disney magic?  Of course - everywhere.

Throughout the day - looking over and seeing the smile on Samantha's face - a face that is no longer a child's but is still not quite an adult's, I realize that special moments will become few and far between in the years ahead as she leaves our home for her own life.  

We had a great time and still left an attraction or two for another visit.

Thank you, Walt, for a dream that allows this family to connect with laughter, thrills, and good times.

Thank you, Sam, for a great day together.

A-ten-shun!

Lots of Monsters

Mickey and Sam

We Went Tractor Tippin' After We Took This Pic

American Idol Auditions

 

So Scary Snow

I've been living in North Carolina for three years now.  I left New York in January 2010 in the middle of a snow storm and arrived 600 some odd miles to the south in another snow storm.  It figures that the bad weather would follow me.

2010. Never Again!

Since my arrival I've seen snow on at least three occasions; the most significant being the day after Christmas 2010.  Grant was three weeks old.  It snowed enough to make a snowman. 

After 43 years living with snow every year, and living a majority of those years where Lake Effect Snow is a dominant weather event, I can attest that snow is very picturesque for a day and then loses its attraction altogether.  For the rest of the winter.  I have shoveled and pushed so much snow in my life that the total collective weight of it must be over a ton.  Seriously.

I do not miss snow.  I get a chill every time Al Roker shows me one of those blizzards dumping snow in Somewhere Else, USA.

This week the weather guys predicted a snow storm of up to 4 inches in parts of this state.  I had been in Kentucky where a ice storm barely brushed by the part of the state I was in and when I got back to RDU the electronic highway signs flashed and warned "WINTER STORM WARNING." In Raleigh, North Carolina snow is a reason to fret and horde everything from gasoline to milk and bread.  It causes enough of a panic that schools are delayed or closed before the first flake ever falls from the sky. Thursday evening my work delayed its start by two hours and TJ's school pushed back its opening by two hours as well. 

And so, Thursday night was full of torrents of rain and the temperature began to drop.  [Cue the dramatic music.]  By Friday morning the sun was out to reveal nothing but a good frost.  [Insert rim shot here.]  TJ, hoping to see snow, was crestfallen.  Work and schools were still delayed and I drove in on clear, dry roads in forty degree weather.

Of all the benefits of moving to the South, the fact that I do not need a snow shovel ranks up near the top.

I do not miss snow. 

Wow - Hello, 2013

Creating a blog is easy.


Maintaining a blog with two jobs, three kids, holidays, family, and, well, The Walking Dead is on - it get hard.  So here it is that 2013 is already a week old and the blog has nothing to show for it since before Halloween.  So let's do this - here are some pictures of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas before we start the New Year.

Grant recycled his brother's monkey costume for Halloween.  Once he got the hang of ringing doorbells and getting lollipops he was unstoppable.

 TJ completed his Ironman costume and in a moment of utter confidence decided to walk the three miles from out house to his old pre-school to attend their Trick-or-Treat - in the dark.  He got as far as the end of road before we collected him and returned him, dejected, to the house.

Making the Apple Pie

TJ is always a help in the kitchen and putting the finishing touches on the apple pie for Thanksgiving - our first "official" meal in the dining room since it was remodeled with chair rails and wainscoting.

Bob and Betty Reunited

TJ and Nathan -Christmas Eve Service

Sam and Kira - Angels

Grant - Moo

After almost 18 months apart, Bobby and his mom were able to reunite.  His illness is currently under control allowing he and his mom to enjoy each others company - the highlight of 2012.










TJ and his old buddy (can you say that of a 5 five old?) Nathan got together at church on Christmas Eve to celebrate the Nativity.  TJ decided to be a king while Nathan was a sublime bovine.











The girls tried on halos.  It didn't help.














Grant - always the charmer, donned cow ears and mooed throughout the service. 














And now we are up to speed.



The New Year is going to be challenging for us.  2013 ushered in a new job for me and they "in-sourced" my job from a contractor to a government employee.  While the long term benefits of working for the government are good, the immediate issue is a loss in pay in the new position.  As of this writing it is still being worked on - but the loss of income is never good. Lisa is also going through her own career woes - and her issues are yet to be resolved. All this means a lean year for the family but we will make it work.

2013 will also provide challenges of raising children; a teenager in particular who occasionally makes good decisions and keeps them to herself but then broadcasts bad decisions on Twitter and other social media.  As a parent I can't stand social media; its intrusive, untrustworthy, and it blurs the line of acceptable behavior.  I think there is a generation of kids out there who are going to be impacted be there posts months or years after they post them to cyber space.  I don't know and cannot imagine what the long term impacts are of living your life on line as they do but it worries me. 

While Sam and her parents struggle through her adolescence in real time on social media I can't help but wonder what Sam's fifteen year old will have to deal with technologically. 

Same for this blog.  While the contributions have been few, it is a chronicle of our family.  Births, triumphs, trials, vacations, they are all are remembered here.  Our hope is that is exists long into the kids adulthood for them to look back on and enjoy.  However, that's a lot of information floating out there for a long time and while its benign - do we really want it out there? 

Who's reading this anyway?