Coming to Know Each Other

One of my favorite things to say at this stage of my maternity leave is: "I am learning how to be a mom and TJ is learning how to be a son." You see, it is a relationship. We are learning from each other. I am better coming to know my son and at the same time he is better coming to know me.

At seven weeks, I am starting to see some patterns in TJ's behavior emerge. For instance, I have found that after TJ feeds he enters into a phase of activity. He is alert, he is ready to take in the world, and interact with things around him. This lasts between 30-40 minutes. Anything after that and he becomes cranky. It's almost as he gets over stimulated and he is ready to shut the world out by taking a nap.

Trouble is, I have also learned that TJ does not like the thought of going to sleep during the day. He puts up a fight and lets me know that although he is tired, he is not too keen on closing his eyes. But eventually, he succumbs to the land of nod and sleeps for a good 45-90 minutes.

The nap period is where TJ is learning the most on how to best read his mom and dad. He has learned-- to some extent-- to soothe himself in the crib at nap time. We swaddle him, rock him for a little bit, place him in his crib, and turn on some sort of white noise (the fan, a CD of white noise music). And much to my surprise, he calms down and eventually nods off to sleep. I would not have predicted this behavior a couple of weeks ago, but at seven weeks, he is getting a hang of it. He is becoming a son.

After his nap, TJ is also in a good mood. This is the period of time that I have discovered he gives his best smiles. I love watching him and his dad interact after a good sleep. They play off each other really well. Just this morning, TJ and Dad were having quite a bonding experience. It was amazing to watch. TJ was fixated on Dad's face. Dad would say "hello" or sing a song, and TJ's face would light up. And this went on repeatedly for 5-6 minutes. Being witness to this morning's interaction, I would not be surprised if TJ learned to giggle in the next week. So here too, TJ is learning to be a son to his father. I love watching the relationship those two are developing.

We are all learning in relation to the other in these past seven weeks. It is through more time together and creating that sense of trust that we are really starting to understand how we operate, what works and what doesn't work. Simply put, we are learning to love each other and it is wonderful.