A Matter of Perspective

Yes, I was not happy with Rich's news that he may be gone over the summer months. I was not happy with the prospect that we would have a newborn child and for the first few months of his/her life, it would be baby and me. Truth of the matter is I am scared. How could I single-handedly care for a newborn? What do I know about babies. . . more specifically infants? At least with Rich I would have a partner in whom we could learn and grow together. . .as a husband and wife should.

The good news is that Rich doesn't think that he has to go to Washington now. Instead, he will be going to New Jersey for a training program to get him on track for promotion to Lt. Colonel. And this program is only for a week. Yes, that is much better indeed.

I am going on 11 weeks now and things seem to be going well. I am noticing my belly getting larger. My clothes still fit, but I realize that a number of my fitted sweaters help accent my belly. I laugh at myself in the mirror because it looks as if my belly and my boobs are the same size. I have yet to tell the office of my news. . . but I am thinking I will have a conversation with my boss later this week. I do not anticipate any difficulty or backlash, so it is just a matter of letting the cat out of the bag.

My focus as of late has been really trying to put my mind around what life will be like after baby is born. I try to imagine the house and how it will look with toys and baby paraphernalia scattered around. Is there a way to organize? I try to imagine the nursery and how to add this extra room into an already cramped house. How are we going to make this work? I want to provide the best to our new baby and I know everything will work out, but these questions have given me a bit of anxiety over the recent weeks. I guess it is all a part of expecting.

But if I am to put my joys, concerns, and anxieties in perspective, we are really quite blessed. My pregnancy is going very well. My first trimester is almost over with very little complaint. The fears and anxieties that I have are most in part due to the fact that I am entering into new territory. It's hard to visualize and imagine what to me is so unknown. We have much to be thankful for and much joy to anticipate. In six months our world will change. Rich will be by my side and in my arms will be a beautiful new baby of our own. Life is good.