We have a member of the family who is mentally ill. Without getting into details its enough to sum it up by saying during his most severe moments of paranoid delusion and persecution, he believes that key people in the US government - people like the Attorney General - are trying to force him to marry Jennifer Lopez, or Brittney Spears. While that would be a funny plot line to a bad 80's teen flick, it is reality for him.
Lately, he has been on a path a little bit different from his "cycle"; that being one of being forcibly committed, getting on medication, stabilizing, finding work in places like Alaska, Arizona, or Texas, working at a seasonal job, falling off his meds, returning home, and getting committed again. This cycle is usually a year long and we have been dealing with this as a family for six years.
However, his path has been different for the past few months. He's on meds and staying home for the season. Then out of the blue he decided to take us up on an open offer to visit. And just like that he was in our home.
It's strange talking with someone you know has a mind wired different than most typical brains. Conversations start with something like, "So, did you have a good drive up?" "Yes," and that's the end of the conversation. Of course when he says something like, "When I turn fifty the government is going to give me $50,000,000," its hard to pick up and follow that. You have to temper frustrations with the constant reminder that he is operating in a different "normal" than most of us.
This is the most time we've ever spent with a person with mental illness in such close proximity. I guess I was surprised at how normal he is. He's clean shaven and showers once a day. He manages his affairs, and drives, and emails, and lifts the seat, and closes doors after himself. He plays video games (badly). He has a peculiar sense of humor that amuses him at least. And you begin to think, maybe he isn't ill; maybe he's faking it. Then you look at his web browser history and it is loaded with listings for mansions and yachts that he expect to buy one day with the money that will come in one day, and realize, oh, yeah, right.
One day, for certain, he will be our responsibility. A responsibility to be shared by the other members of the family. We will manage his money, his care, and living arrangements. We asked him what expectations were and he laid them out to us. It may have been the first time anyone seriously asked his opinion about something truly important. There was no payday, or mansion, or boat. Just a place to live and a reliable car to get him around.
Wow.
To Alaska, or Arizona, or Texas; oh, yeah, right.
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