Christmas 2016

This year Christmas was a bit bittersweet. We had a wonderful Christmas vacation. . . . full of things like taking the boys to see Rouge One-- a Star Wars spin off-- welcoming Sam home, decorating Christmas cookies, going to the Draft Line, and much needed family time. Yet a shadow hung over our heads during our Christmas break. That shadow was Rich's forthcoming deployment. Yes, you got that right. Rich reported for duty in Fort Meade Maryland on December 27. Merry Christmas to us!

What a juxtaposition we were given: anticipating Rich's departure, while also being in the midst of the holiday cheer. We did what we could to stay in the moment and soak up as much "Dad time" as possible. I actually made sure as best we could to keep priorities straight. There was one night that the boys wanted to snuggle with Dad (which is really code for a sock 'em up wrestling match) where Dad said "Not tonight." I had to step in and make Rich reconsider. "You will wrestle with these boys every night from now until the 27th," I said, "this time with you is precious." He got the idea and mayhem soon ensued.

Yet, I will also give credit to Rich for being able to compartmentalize his Colonel role from his Dad role and his husband role. While he packed and made house repair lists for me to tackle while he was away, he also tossed the ball back and forth with TJ, took the training wheels off of Grant's bike in hopes he would advance to two wheel riding (which did not happen), and spend some good hang out time with Sam. Rich and I also were able to go to the symphony for their Christmas music concert. Somehow, he was able to do it all.

Christmas day was a nice celebration. My focus on gifts this year was things that father and son could hold on to during the deployment. TJ and Dad both got T-Shirt quilts made out of Y Guides, Camp, and Army shirts. Things that represent their time together and common interests so they could snuggle up with each other across the miles. Grant and Dad got a picture book, "Daddy and Me." Thanks to Shutterfly, the book was full of pictures of Dad and Grant and special moments that they have shared. Grant's goal is to be able to read the book on his own by the time Dad gets back.

On December 27th we all piled into the van and took Rich up to Fort Meade. Rich would work during the day and then have the late afternoons and evenings with us. For me, those three days were slow and agonizing. I was ready for all of this to be done and for us to stop the anticipation of the departure and get on with the next few months. I am pretty sure that everyone else felt the same way.

We took Rich to the airport on December 30, said our good byes and drove home. No big drama or tears, in some ways TJ and Grant are still too young to internalize all of this. Samantha, on the other hand, cried for all five of us. On our way home we drove through Washington DC. The boys seemed to enjoy seeing the Monuments and Government buildings. I look forward to when they are old enough to spend a week in our Nation's capital.

In the days after we hugged Dad goodbye, we were able to face time with him just about every day. Life seemed normal. We are used to him being away. But soon, as we deal with time differences, I am sure our new normal will be slightly more difficult to adjust to. But I am hopeful that the days will go fast and the preparation we took before Rich's departure will set us all up for success.God will be with us.

Christmas is about family, juxtapositions (who ever heard of a King being born in a stable?), and the message of hope for a world that needs saving. I think Christmas 2016 captured these things for the Brown family quite well. Not the way I would prefer, but the message is loud and clear all the same.

Cookie decoration fun

Ah, the Christmas Tree

Pile-ons can be so much fun!

Just A Moment

We are watching the boys grow up right underneath us.  How is that we just celebrated Grant's sixth birthday when it seems like only yesterday that he was a cute infant and toddler who spit-up all the time?  I came across some lost photos and home videos the other day and found a sweet little video of TJ at 12+/- months "dancing" to bee-bop music. That was almost 8 years ago.

All of these memories are captured on digits or video.

By the way, the discovery the lost pictures was a happy, happy occasion because the hard drive they are stored on had been lost for over a year.  I mean lost to the point where I tore apart the house - and Betty's house - looking for the hard drive. Ten years of holidays, vacations, birthdays, home movies were missing. Finding it lifted my spirit. 

But what about the moments that are not on an iPhone or GoPro?

I realized the other day that you have to savor those moments as they happen.  You cannot remember them all.  I do not remember every at-bat TJ had in T-ball nor do I remember every play Grant made in youth soccer.  While I have a general memory of those "seasons" the specifics are lost to time.

I watched TJ play basketball the other night.  He is a good team player on a solid team but he is lousy with the ball.  The gym was full of the squeaks of basketball shoes, coaches yelling, and referee's whistles. Most parents had their heads in their phones. I took a moment to enjoy the grace in the way TJ runs and the occasional glance in my direction for approval.  I rejoiced in his love of playing and his total disregard for his lack of skill.  He was glorious in being absent of any negativity.  It was enough to fill my heart. That's what I want to remember. Not being able to store it all, I take great comfort in watching it happen before my eyes.

I am presently sitting across from Grant who is proudly showing off his art work from school.  His trip the Outer Banks and the Halloween Party on display. He is happily receiving positive feedback from Mommy - and they are both oblivious to my recording it on the blog. 

These brief moments will be gone from long term memory in a few years. In a few years I wonder if I will even remember writing it, let alone the basketball game or art work. 

I wish I could hold on to these moments forever.

Happy Birthday Grant

Hey "Little Man" - you are not so little anymore.  You turned six years old the other day. For your birthday we got you Pokémon Fathead wall art for your room.  Those bare walls were the perfect color for Pikachu, Bulbasaur, and Charizard.  I have no idea who those characters are - but you liked them!   It dawned on me that you are certainly not a toddler, or a little boy. 

 

No, I see a boy. A boy who is so independent but still needing to climb into bed with mom and dad in the morning to cuddle. A boy who is forming his own opinions, attitudes, and demeanors but still defers to mommy to keep himself in check. A boy who worships his big brother but can do his own thing when big brother is away. 

It is hard to believe how "grown" you are at 6. My children always impress me in one way or another. You impress me with a growing intellect and capacity to see how things work.

I sense greatness in you, Stinker. Greatness I can't even imagine for you.

All of my love.