Winter Is Gone

Hooray! Winter is gone. The first official day of Spring was this past week. . . and if you look in our front yard, we have proof. The snow is gone. The picture above documents our very last patch of snow. And with pinwheel in hand, TJ is ready to spend more time outside.

To me, the coming of spring represents new beginnings, life, the confirmation of God's promise. People shed their cold, winter attitudes. Have you ever noticed how friendly everyone is that first day of warm weather? There is excitement in the air. Relief. Anticipation for good things ahead. And I too am hopeful. I too am ready for new beginnings. I too am anticipating what lies ahead.

But before I say hello to the Spring, there were a couple of goodbyes that had to be done. One of which was to our little baby girl, Rebecca Lucy. As of my last post, I was on bed rest and waiting. Ten days later, she/God decided it was time to go. Rebecca's heart stopped beating in uetero. I am blessed that Rich was able to come home on emergency leave to be with me during such a difficult time. We could face this as husband and wife; father and mother.

We still do not have a lot of answers as to how and why this happened. But we have made peace with the fact that she was just not meant to be a part of our world. Instead she lives on in me, her mother, who carried her for 6 months. Rebecca-- even in uetero-- has had a profound effect on me. With her, I feel that I have become stronger, more patient, more trusting in God, and more in tune with the essence of motherhood. And even now, I am not able to shake the feeling that Rebecca's brief presence has now prepared the way for something else just as powerful in my life.

It's the sign of Spring. I feel it. I am waiting in anticipation.