So the holidays have come and gone with no post to commemorate the occasion. Oops! Guess you could say Lisa was clearly on vacation. TJ and I went down to my mother's in Florida and I have to say that the weather this year was the best I can ever remember in all of my Christmas' down there. We are talking mid to high 70s, sunny, and no humidity. Perfect for these upstate New Yorkers who already have had their share of snow.
It was wonderful to be surrounded by family this time of year. It was great to have help with TJ, to not have to worry about the day's menu, the cleaning, or other household chores. Of course I did my best to try to help out, but the pressure was not always on me like it has been with Rich away. My nieces did a bang up job playing with TJ and taking turns keeping an eye on him. He loved running around and playing with them. TJ takes to other kids rather well, and my nieces were no different.
TJ is still a little too young to comprehend the idea of Christmas, but when he saw the toy trucks under the tree on Christmas morning, he got so excited. He woke up a little fussy that morning (which is unlike him) and was very frustrated with the fact that he couldn't go downstairs like he has every other morning (the kids all wait upstairs until the adults are ready for the chaos to begin in my family). But as mentioned, he changed his tune instantly when we finally got downstairs.
Christmas morning we also tried to Skype with Rich. Skype has been a wonderful tool to keep in touch with Rich during his deployment. We can instant message and even use the video calling. For some reason, however the connections in Florida were not that great. We kept loosing service so our calls were rather short and unpredictable. We did get a small window of video feed that morning. . .so TJ was able to open up a present with Daddy right there. . .but there was not time to do much of anything else.
I certainly missed Rich's presence this holiday, and maybe the feelings of loneliness were accentuated by the lack of skype and the fact that there was little routine or distraction during the day to keep me focused on other things. There were a few moody days (sorry family), but we made due as best we could.
Other highlights of the holiday included taking TJ on his first kayak ride. He did great. He seems very interested in all the boats that go up and down the river. When we got in the boat, TJ was a bit reserved and kept close to his mommy (which is right where I needed him to be). TJ also got his first haircut. Again, sitting on mommy's lap with the stylist constantly touching his head/hair, he was reserved and well behaved. He never protested, but instead was cautiously curious as to what exactly was going on.
We went to the nearby wildlife park to look at all the animals. He is like his Daddy and decided he did not like being so close to the snakes. But he did like watching all the fish swim around and the birds stake out their territory.
TJ also made two trips to the beach. The first time, he was not too sure how he felt about walking on the sand. . . a bit unstable. But by the second visit, he was running around and feeling much more confident. And the same was true about the water at the beach. While there were no "waves" to speak of at this location, the water still "rolled in" slowly and the sand was soft enough to cause concern the first visit. At our second visit, he tackled the water the way he did the sand and by the end of our time at the beach he was running into the water up to his waist.
One day we went to the Aquarium in Tampa. TJ loved watching all of the fish. The aquarium also has a little "water park" attached to it for young kids. Think mini-fountains, plenty of things to climb over and on, and lots of misting water. He had a ball. I will particularly remember helping TJ learn to "climb" the cargo net tunnel of the pirate ship. At first, I saw it and said, "ugh, I don't want TJ to get involved in that. He is too young, and well, it just looks like too much trouble." And so I thought that was the end of it.
However, I noticed that TJ kept on running over to it to take a look. I noticed that he would not go venture on his own. He would run upto it, stop and just look. I was pleased that he showed restraint. I knew he was being safe and that I would not have to worry about his getting hurt. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was really, really curious and that he wanted to play but was usure how to go about doing it.
As I looked around the park at all the other kids, it dawned on me that this was my opportunity to shed the "protective mother" role and step in for "daring dad". . . you know, the dad who pushes their children to try new things, brush off the bruises and live a little? By not pushing him forward was I teaching him to be afraid? to be cautious? to not take risks? I want my son to be the kind of person who approaches new situations with a sense of wonder and fun, so wasn't it up to me to model the way?
I walked onto the tunnel. . . and yes, in a kid sized pirate ship, this adds an extra challenge for anyone over 5 feet tall. TJ was aprehensive at first, but I showed him that I was right there with him, that I'd hold his hand, and that we would do it together. And so he continued. He did not whine, show indications that he wanted to go back, or sit there and cry. Instead, we walked that tunnel together. And as we got to the other side, it was neat to watch him feel a sense of accomplishment. . . a victory over something he would not try alone. Lesson learned. . for both of us.
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