The Name Game or, Nom De Jour

Dear Smudge,

Just about the only two names your mother and I can agree to right now is Smudge Brown. Lucky for you, you only have to keep one of them.

On the short list right now:

Ryan Alexander
Thomas Jacob
Jacob Thomas
Thomas Alexander (your sister's favorite)

Other mentionables:

Carson, Owen, Walter, Garrison, Tanner, Conner, Richard, Nathan, Dylan, Justin, and Wilber. Okay, I was totally kidding about the Wilber name.

Many, many, many years from now you will have children. When that time comes, you too will encounter the name game. Here are some basic rules:

1. When naming a child consider how the initials sound or what they spell. For instance; Garrison Owen Brown = GOB, and that just doesn't look good monogrammed on the cuff links.
   
2. Think how the name sounds. Tanner Brown, when enunciated, sounds like, "tan, or brown?" Ugh.
   
3. Consider how will the name sound as a child grows. Carson is a good name for a little boy, but might not be that great as a man.
   
4. Can the name make for cool initials? Thomas Jacob is a good name pulling from your grandfather and great grandfather on both sides of the family, and being called TJ by your teachers, friends, and family is "cool".
5. No ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriend names. Ever.

Your mother has decided that she will know your name once she see you and holds you. So your name might wind up, Slimy Screaming Thing Brown. I like traditional family names, thus you might end up Thomas Jacob (my father and mommy's great grandfather). Another option is to sell your name to a big on line company, Ebay DotCom Brown. The residuals would pay for college.

Who are you and what will your name be? We are waiting to meet you.