Paranoid Questions

Really, Rich. . . it was more of a "thunk" than gas. It is true, I was laying in bed not wanting to get up (pregnancy has made me more tired) and while I was laying on my side I felt something inside me settle. I would normally think nothing of this "thunk" feeling, but as I was laying there, I could not help but to raise the question to my husband, "was that Smudge that moved, or just me and my digestive system saying good morning?" Welcome to the paranoid questions of pregnancy!

There are other paranoid questions that go through my mind on a daily basis. . . most of them revolve around what I eat. Will this diet coke cause my child to have only one eye? Am I getting enough vegetables in my diet? Am I really supposed to avoid soft cheese? Is blue cheese considered soft? What! I can't snack on raw cookie dough anymore?

I have also just learned that I am not supposed to be reaching and moving heavy things. Oh dear. . . now we have entered into the physical realm of my paranoia. What can I am what can't I do when it comes to day-to-day activities and going to the gym.

The way I see it is that people have been having babies since the beginning of time and due to that long history, I think my body will tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. I will listen to its signs. . . like the "thunk" I heard/felt yesterday. That certainly got my attention.

Maybe It's Just Gas

Lisa rolled over this morning when I entered the bedroom after my shower. Even at 6:30ish she is able to be beautiful while being half asleep and slightly grumpy. Lisa is definately a let's-not-rush-to-get-out-of-bed and just-hit-the-snooze button kind of person. As part of my Husband Training Program I have learned to let her sleep and not share my morning person attributes with her. My job in the morning is to: get up, go down stairs, let the dog out, enjoy my morning coffee, and do not bother my wife until she is ready to wake up her own. And when she does wake up I deliver her orange juice.

However, this morning as I entered the room she announced that she thinks she felt something move in her belly. The baby is the size of a lemon about now. The baby can move although you couldn't feel it from the outside.

After 12 weeks of an eerily quiet pregnancy Lisa is finally entering the second trimester.

A Non-Event (So Far)

This has been a very quiet three months. The house hasn't been baby proofed - yet. The nursery hasn’t been decided on – yet. Lisa hasn’t had to buy a new wardrobe – yet. We haven’t even gotten into a serious discussion over names – yet.

I have to remind myself that Lisa is pregnant. She doesn’t look it, or really act it. Aside from the picture of “Smudge” on the fridge and the mandatory “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” on the night stand, it’s hard to tell we are having a baby.

These are the quiet months. They have been problem free, and for that we are thankful. Lisa and I are enjoying ourselves and our remaining days of infant free existence.

Our countdown clock reads 200 days to go. The next few months should be exciting!

A Matter of Perspective

Yes, I was not happy with Rich's news that he may be gone over the summer months. I was not happy with the prospect that we would have a newborn child and for the first few months of his/her life, it would be baby and me. Truth of the matter is I am scared. How could I single-handedly care for a newborn? What do I know about babies. . . more specifically infants? At least with Rich I would have a partner in whom we could learn and grow together. . .as a husband and wife should.

The good news is that Rich doesn't think that he has to go to Washington now. Instead, he will be going to New Jersey for a training program to get him on track for promotion to Lt. Colonel. And this program is only for a week. Yes, that is much better indeed.

I am going on 11 weeks now and things seem to be going well. I am noticing my belly getting larger. My clothes still fit, but I realize that a number of my fitted sweaters help accent my belly. I laugh at myself in the mirror because it looks as if my belly and my boobs are the same size. I have yet to tell the office of my news. . . but I am thinking I will have a conversation with my boss later this week. I do not anticipate any difficulty or backlash, so it is just a matter of letting the cat out of the bag.

My focus as of late has been really trying to put my mind around what life will be like after baby is born. I try to imagine the house and how it will look with toys and baby paraphernalia scattered around. Is there a way to organize? I try to imagine the nursery and how to add this extra room into an already cramped house. How are we going to make this work? I want to provide the best to our new baby and I know everything will work out, but these questions have given me a bit of anxiety over the recent weeks. I guess it is all a part of expecting.

But if I am to put my joys, concerns, and anxieties in perspective, we are really quite blessed. My pregnancy is going very well. My first trimester is almost over with very little complaint. The fears and anxieties that I have are most in part due to the fact that I am entering into new territory. It's hard to visualize and imagine what to me is so unknown. We have much to be thankful for and much joy to anticipate. In six months our world will change. Rich will be by my side and in my arms will be a beautiful new baby of our own. Life is good.