The last day of our Spring Break trip we decided to take the kids to Las Vegas to see The Strip. The boys liked Ocean's Eleven and Thirteen and wanted to see the hype of Vegas - having no real idea what the place is really about - in person. In our naiveté and stupidity Lisa and I thought, how bad can it be? Walk South Vegas Boulevard, see the lights, look inside a casino, watch the fountains of the Bellagio, and go back to the hotel.
Easy, right?
The last time I was in Las Vegas was in 2004. The time before that I was 13 years old. In 2004, I walked The Strip for hours. I went into The Venetian, Paris, Caesar's Palace, and The Bellagio staring in wonder and amazement of the temples to gambling and excess. It was truly spectacular and I don't remember it being that crowded or intimidating. 
Around 5:30pm our driver dropped the four of us off at New York, New York, a casino to everything NYC. We walked into the casino onto S. Las Vegas Blvd and into the largest gathering of people I have seen since the Disney Marathon in 2020. It was a sea of humanity. The first thing we saw was two women dressed up as Vegas Showgirls, complete with the feather headdress and opulence. They were also ONLY wearing thongs and tiny coverings over their breasts. At first I thought they were some kind of Las Vegas ambassador team but I quickly realized that for $20 you could get a picture taken with them. I also learned that these two were the most clothed out of all the women on The Strip offering to take pictures. Welcome to Vegas.
Nonetheless, I did my best to embarrass TJ every time we walked by women in their underwear.
Our failure quickly became apparent. Las Vegas allows open alcohol containers and smoking is ubiquitous. Marijuana is also legal now and the smell rolling out of the cannabis shops was overwhelming. Finally, the streets were packed with the kind of people who are attracted to open alcohol, pot, gambling, and scantily clad women - and are willing to ignore any Covid safety measures. All those people and the few sets of parents who didn't think Las Vegas would be that crazy. Poor Grant - at 5' tall all he saw for the next three hours was boobs, butts, beer, and Bozos - and not in a good way; he might be permanently scarred against ever visiting Las Vegas again.
We walked through the shops in Caesar's Palace and up to The Venetian but, honestly, it was too crowded, too expensive, and too meh to enjoy it. Las Vegas looks good in pictures and movies and not in person.
We did stop at The Bellagio to watch the fountains while sirens blared just down the street. You can watch the awesome show by clicking HERE! I looked around and realized the Las Vegas is Walt Disney World's evil cousin. Both artificial worlds are full of spectacle, eye candy, and simplistic American themes and values. Both are focused on a certain type of entertainment and geared for certain types of people.
Of the two, in Las Vegas, The Brown Family was clearly not where we belonged.
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