My New Toy

I don't "want" many things.  I'm not very materialistic.  New toys don't mean a whole lot to me.  When I do want something I try to earn it by setting aside money, looking for deals, or "working for it" in some way that I mentally convince myself that's okay to get it.

For the last few months I have wanted a GoPro video camera.  It's small, very versatile, waterproof camera that can be mounted on bikes, helmets, tripods, or hand held wands.  The footage is awesome.

When I sold the house last week my reward was a GoPro 3+.  I felt that I "earned" the right to drop a few hundred dollars on something I wanted.

For the last few days I have been playing with the camera and learning to use new editing software.

Today we went to the pool for the last time this season.  I woke up at 3:00am with an idea to make a floaty handle for the camera and was awake from 3:00am to 4:00am-ish.  The result was a neat, bright orange, floaty that can mount the camera and float if dropped by the user.  We had a bit of fun making the test footage above!

Good Morning

This post is nothing but a silly picture.

September 12, 2014

So Long and Farewell

Good-bye my old house at 37 Miller Street.  You were both a blessing and a curse.  You were the pin on the map where I transitioned from one life to another - a ten year waypoint on my journey.  You were a source of stress and happiness and a lot of memories.

See those shutters?  My dad and I hung those after I bought you in 2001 after renting you for two years.  I remember being on the ladder and dad handling tools to me through the window.  That green star over the door and the railroad lantern light?  Yep, we added that too.

That dented garage door?  That was Lisa who managed to hit the garage door with her car and my car parked inside.  One door, two cars, at one time.

Remember the garage parties?!  Darts, music, dancing?  How about the ghetto fireplace in the backyard.  Is there such a thing as a "ghetto fireplace"?

Or the day the ex-wife moved out taking Samantha with her?  We didn't know it then but that was the day it actually started getting better.

You put a roof over my head - plus a couple of tenants, girlfriends, and animals (not all at the same time).  At one time you held two adults, two part time kids, and five dogs!  And don't forget the mummified squirrel I found in the ash pit in the basement (the poor guy but have been around the chimney and fallen in).

Of course your chimney is gone now.  When you got a new roof this spring we removed the chimney since the fireplace (the one inside the house) is inoperable and the heating system no longer vents through it.  You also put a roof over Lisa's head; the first home we had together as husband and wife.  And then, in 2007, TJ joined us - us being Mommy, Daddy, Poly and Hobie.

And the snow!  I'd shovel a mountain of it into the yard, high enough that Sam could jump off the rail and not get get hurt.  I'd shovel twice a day, maybe twice and a half if the plow came through right after I finished the first time.

We gave you a new kitchen and redid the bathroom.  Pat O'Brien helped on the bathroom, but we got a custom fitter for the tub and shower stall.  It turned out okay for two idiots who didn't know their way around tools.  Lisa repainted and brought a new life to the downstairs.  Drapes, rugs, stair runners.  She made you shine.

I knew every creak and groan in the house, from the doors that stuck to the draft under the front foyer door to the sometimes creepy basement that I had to stoop over in to walk through.

Christmas was always nice in the house but Halloween was the favorite.  We would make you scary - haunted music, lights, fog machine - but not too scary that kids wouldn't come around.

I laughed and cried.  I might have gotten drunk a couple of times too.  Good people came and went - usually through the garage door.

Then we rented you out after we moved to North Carolina.  No one really loved you after that. Certainly not the two families who rented you.  And not me who entrusted you to their care.  Selling you - or the decision to sell you - wasn't easy until this year.  This year I ran out of stamina to stress over you so far away.

You have been sold to a new family.  As of this post you are someone else's property.  A new set of memories will bloom within your walls.

Some people drive by and see an old house.

I knew you as my home.  

Mascots

As part of out Labor Day weekend we went to watch the Durham Bulls play the Norfolk Tides. Being reasonable parents - or at least trying to manage our expectations - we bought lawn seats in the outfield because we knew that the kids would never sit still for a baseball game.  Unfortunately, the lawn seats we the hottest part of the entire stadium and the temperatures were well into the upper 90s.

When we took our seats two employees from the team asked us if the boys wanted to participate in the  mini Wool E. Bull run between the eighth and ninth innings.  Out of the entire park our boys were picked!  Of course we weren't really sure what the mini Wool E. Bull run was but, hey, we'd figure that out when the time came and Lisa signed on the dotted line.

If only we could get to the eighth inning.  It was ungodly hot.  No breeze.  No clouds.  And the boys had no interest in watching the game even though a homer un landed twenty feet away from us or that there was a rare triple play!  Lisa and I took turns walking TJ and Grant around the park into the areas that were shaded and cooler - each time buying more food or souvenirs.  I am not one to endure misery and was ready to go at the third inning, yet somehow my patience, Lisa's patience, and the kids behavior all had positive vibes.  The fifth inning lasted forever and the Norfolk Tides scored runs that would ultimately put them over the top.  Thank goodness the sixth inning went fast!

I realized along the way that TJ, who is now playing baseball, has no concept of the game.  Balls, strikes, offense and defense are new concepts to him.  I did my best to share rudimentary rules and concepts with him and he did his best to follow along.  Amazingly, he showed genuine interest in how that game is played.  Clearly its something I need to work on more with him.  By the seventh inning we moved to the area where we were supposed to meet the park staff.  It was cooler and closer than our seats on the law, right behind the Visitors dugout.

TJ and Grant and a few other kids were ushered down into the stadium - air conditioning!!! - and put into their costumes.  I made  sure they were ready to go.  TJ commented (rightly) that someday, somehow, these pictures of him would come back to embarrass him.  Helloooo High School graduation.  The look on their faces was priceless.  They were doing something really unique.  They were both super excited and had no problem with me leaving them there.

Lisa and I enjoyed twenty minutes of alone time while the game played out.   We got to sit in the section behind the batter on the third base line waiting for the moment when the kids would come out.  Our "date night" lasted long enough to realize that we would come back some night without the kids and enjoy a game in the shade of the stadium drinking $7 beers.

Between the eighth and ninth innings Wool E. Bull and a small herd of mini bulls came charging out of the home team dugout and ran around the infield in a whacky game of Follow-the-Leader.  Grant - the smallest bull - was easy to spot at the pack of the pack.  We watched them on the jumbo-tron and crossed our fingers that Grant would run off in some direction other than where everyone else was going.   TJ stayed right next to the mascot.  TJ might have been dressed like a bull but was a real ham.  Standing in front of a couple thousand people and waving to the crowd put the biggest smile on his face.

The boys ran into the third base dugout and disappeared.  Grant was so excited that he followed the rest of the kids even after making eye contact with Mommy.  A few minutes later they came out to meet us with a baseball card from Wool E. Bull and a great story to share when they go back to school on Tuesday.

The Durham Bulls lost the game but we won the day.

New Bern Bear Brown

It is mid summer and we are going 100 miles per hour with Camp, work, school, friends and commitments keeping our schedule full.  


Lisa is fully engaged in Camp for the next few days and has set up residency at the villa with the boys.  I started a new job that I am taking a brief leave of absence from so I can take four weeks of intense graduate level courses at the Naval Post Graduate School in order to further my military education.   On top of all of this, Linda, Mark and Grace will visit, Sam will go back to New York and I am supposed to close on the sale of the house in Cortland.

Last month we dropped TJ off at Camp for two whole weeks.  Two whole weeks of having only one child running through the house.  Grant did okay being the center of attention but still hugged his brother when he walked through the door.  Within a few minutes the were rough housing across the living room.  Ah, peace in the house.

After dropping TJ off at Camp we took Grant into New Bern with his cousins Alyssa and Grace.  New Bern is famous for being the town where Pepsi Cola was invented and for their city mascot - the bear.  The city is dotted with bear statues all with different themes.  So - during our short walking tour of downtown we tried to locate as many as we could while still keeping Grant's attention and good humor.

At one point in Grant's infancy we called him "Bear" because of his size.  At that time Lisa was feeding him 8 oz of whole milk five times per day.  Grant was a big baby thanks to mommy.   And there are times lately where Grant has lived up to that moniker - he really can be a bear.

The heat of the summer is here.  Ninety degree heat and eighty-five percent humidity.  Strong passing storms only leave a humid steam and little relief.  Nonetheless - the summer of 2014 marches on.

Enjoy the pictures!

Foster Parents

We are foster parents to two adorable puppies.  They have been a part of the family since their mother died last week and Lisa and the rest of Camp rescued them from a place in Pamlico County, NC.

This isn't a huge task for us in the middle of our already busy summer but it does add a layer of complexity.

The puppies are appropriately named, "Puppy" because A, that is the first thing people usually say when they see one, and B, I fear that if we name them someone in the house may want to keep them, and C, they come running to whatever we call them so might as well keep it simple.

I know these two will be scooped up in no time and that they will go to good homes.

I am, in fact, a dog person.  I think owning a dog is a good stress reliever for human beings.  The friendships and bonds that are created between our species are amazing.   It's just that I am not ready to commit to a dog right now.  The boys are still a little skittish around the pups because they are all claws and teeth and excitement (the puppies, not the boys).  I think the best dogs are rescues because I thnk that somehow the dogs know you are helping them out of a tight spot like a pound or shelter. 

Having owned many dogs since I was a kid I am also aware of the work involved in feeding, cleaning, training, walking, and maintenance in owning a dog.  All totally worth it most days.  If you are willing to put up with the shedding on the furniture, an occasional chewed shoe, an accidental pee on the carpet the pay off is a chin on your lap with big eyes wanting a rub behind the ears or an exposed belly to be rubbed.  It's good for both animals.

Here's to Star, Frosty, Hershey, Max, Valentine, Candi, Sheba, and Poly - all of the dogs I have owned in my life.  Thanks for being good companions.

Kung Fu Masters of Awesomeness

TJ has been working on his Tae Kwon Do lessons for over a year and earned his High Yellow Belt in a private testing last week.  He is steadily getting better thanks to a phenomenal Master who does amazing things with kids.

TJ has more focus and seems to enjoy the solo physical activities than he does team sports.  His hand-eye coordination is still off and he is shy to get in front of a football, baseball, or soccer ball out of fear it might hurt him.  I am sure a week or two of tossing the ball around would help him immensely.

The tenants of martial arts; honor, practice, respect, family ring very true for TJ.  For all of his seven years I think he is very earnest in being a respectful and sweet boy.  Not that team sports don't teach those concepts too, but Tae Kwon Do tries to have it's students live it.

For TJ's test he had to break boards with his hands and feet.  It took a couple of attempts but he learned to trust in his abilities and he cleanly sliced the boards in two.  Lisa was very proud to tie his new belt.  My proudest moment was when TJ told the Master he wanted to be in the Army like his dad.

We got to take the boards home and Grant was impressed with his big brother's accomplishment as much as a 3 1/2 year old can be.  In other words, not much, not for very long.

We took the boards out and it got into our heads to have me break the boards while Lisa held them.  "Shh-WHACK!"  The board broke into as a grade of wood slightly above balsa should.  Grant was immediately intrigued.  I did it again at his request.  "Shh-TACK!"  This time it broke in three pieces.  Grant was fascinated.   Grant picked up another piece of wood and followed me into the kitchen and implored me to do it one more time.

I took the board in both hands and with lightning speed split the board in two with my forehead and then gently passed the two pieces back to Grant.  The look on his face was beyond description - but I will try.  The look was of total awe; as if lasers had just shot out of my eyes while riding a dinosaur and defeating Darth Vader in hand to hand combat.  It was a look that could be interpreted into words as, "holy sh*t - my dad just broke a board with his head - my dad is the coolest, toughest guy in the world!".

Lisa and I both caught the look on his face and busted out laughing.  I have no idea how I might ever top that moment to get the same response but I am looking into self help tapes for alligator wrestling.  Wish me luck.

 

Seeing The Boy - Best Weekend Ever

TJ and spent the last weekend in April at Camp Seafarer for Y Guides Spring Outing.  I'm not sure who's reading this - but it was the best weekend ever - I left Camp feeling rejuvenated instead of spent and beat down.  

Of course TJ was familiar with Camp - I mean he spends every summer there - but spending time with him in a place where he wanted to spend time with me was great.  Even though we were with the rest of the Yodeling Squirrels Tribe, for the most part TJ wanted to be with his dad.

I love Lisa - she is an amazing mom.  However, the boys are little too attached to the apron strings.  Not having mom at his beck and call, TJ dropped any "momma's boy" pretense and wanted to hang around with me.  

In a matter of two short days we cooked out, rowed a canoe, fished, rode down the zip line, shot BB guns, swung on the yard arm, watched fireworks, rode bikes, held hands, chatted, and farted, belched, laughed like guys.  


TJ and I took part in the first ever Y Guides 5k.  TJ biked and I ran and both looked hot and sweaty at the finish.
 
There were moments, there were several, where I stood back and watched this sweet boy engage in challenges that would have scared me to death at 6 (almost 7).  I saw the start of the young man he is going to be; it's just barely starting to show.  He is confident, easy to make friends, easy to play, easy to laugh, goofy through and through.  I see some of me in there but I also see something else I never saw in my childhood or even adolescence.  I can't quite put my finger on it yet.  I was so damned proud to be his dad that weekend.


It was a different time but my dad never spent time like this with me.  Not many dads did.  We tossed the ball back and forth in the back yard, but he had no idea how to spend quality time with his kids.  He's gone now.  We both lost out.  I am thankful for my wife for pushing me into this.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.  

TJ and took a trip to Orlando in 2010.  A month before Grant was born we did our first father-son trip and went to the Magic Kingdom while mom prepped the last few free days before sleep became a scare commodity.  TJ and I had a blast riding down on a train, going to the Magic Kingdom, sharing the love or Disney, and connecting with him for the first time since I returned from Iraq the previous year. 


I am reminded that my children are fun to be with.  I learned that if you remove "mommy, Mommmy, MOMMMYYY!" and TV, and other distractions that you can have a great time.  I still need to learn how to talk to my boys.  That's a hurdle I need to overcome from going from Dad to a buddy.   But the foundation is there.

Welcome to March

March is here. 

Whoop-dee-freakin-do.

The weather is still very un-spring like in North Carolina.  Once again the weather chased me out of work early on Monday to anticipate a sleet and ice storm that sorta, kinda materialized.  Not enough to notice - except for the school districts in the area that closed due to some sporadic black ice and both closed school early on Monday and altogether on Tuesday.  Our friends and family to the west and north of us have it even worse with temperatures still in single or negative digits.

I was looking outside and there are tulips trying to push up through the ground.

The birds are returning to the bird feeder.

Even the grass seems like it is turning green again.

But seriously, Winter 2014, thank you but we've had enough.

Winter 2014 Go Away!

Grant Robert, Barista

My morning begins with coffee.  Coffee is among my worst vices.  I go through several cups per day.  It helps me get my day started and by midday it helps keep me going.

Most mornings my routine merely consists of going downstairs and setting up the coffee pot.  I check the news and email and within that amount of time the first floor is filled with the wonderful smell of coffee.

For the last few months I have had a helper. If Grant is awake he eagerly jumps out of bed with me and announces, "I'll help!"  He then says that he will make coffee with me but pronounces with a "T" so it comes out "toffee." He holds my hand as we walk downstairs or requests a piggyback ride.

I perch him on the counter and he talks me through the steps. Get the filter (he pushes it into place).  Get the grounds (he helps scoop them into the filter).  Get the water (he pours the water into the reservoir).  Close the lid.  Press the button (his favorite part because he gets to do it all by himself).

Once these steps are done so is he and takes off for cartoons on the iPad or jumps back into bed with mommy.  Task complete, he has no interest in the actual beverage itself.


My reward is spending some simple time with Grant in our own private ritual.

Maybe I'll teach him how to do it all on his own and I can sleep in a little longer!

I Am The Tooth Fairy

Looking Like Don Vito Corleone

TJ is now at that age where he is losing his baby teeth.  This the age where one by one first teeth get loose, bend over at grossly odd angles, and eventually come out.

Actually, it has only been two so far.  Each time we make sure that the tooth is conveniently place in in a plastic bag and put under the pillow.  As we go to bed I make the exchange of the white little nub for a one dollar coin.  That's the easy part.

I am the tooth fairy.

TJ's second loose tooth was hampered by his adult tooth coming in at a gross, odd angle behind it.  That baby tooth was stubborn too.  It lasted for almost two weeks to the distress of Lisa who imagined (and helped me imagine) the dental bill for braces if our son's teeth came in crooked. 

At lunch over the weekend I told TJ that I was going to pull it out.  TJ, ever the nervous one when it comes to medical stuff, was definitely uneasy with the idea.  TJ knows it must be "bad" when dad takes over as doctor.  Remember, I'm the one who gave him an enema(s).  I'm the one who, when he jumped off the couch and bit through his lip, stopped the bleeding with a towel and ice (as opposed to a trip to Urgent Care where Lisa would have taken him).  However, in this case, mom was at the table and wasn't saying, "No," so it must be okay.

Turns out baby teeth are much harder to grasp a hold of than I ever realized.  My big fingers just couldn't get a grip on it - not enough to yank it.

I keep a set of common house tools in the pantry, right behind where I sit at the kitchen table.  Among the tools are a pair of nice, long, needle nose pliers.

Lisa's eyes got wide as I pulled them out but TJ seemed pretty cool with it.  Maybe he thought I was kidding.  I gently grabbed the tooth and .37 seconds later it was out.  Along with a gusher of blood.  Lisa ran from the table in a combination of utter surprise, disgust, and empathetic pain for her son. As soon as he saw the tooth pinched in between the ends of the pliers TJ cried. 

I am the dentist.

So now TJ is running to his mom, his mouth full of blood, I am running after him trying to get a paper towel in the gap left by the tooth so he doesn't bleed all over her or the couch, and Grant is sitting at the table taking it all in and making mental notes for when he's older. 

That's all for now.  If I undertake any other minor surgery I'll post it here first.

Cabin Fever

Three days at home with the kids can test your patience and sanity.

For the second time in three weeks the Wake County Public Schools have been closed for three and a half days due to weather.  Snow, and it's evil cousin, ice. 

This week the first patch of bad weather started on Tuesday afternoon with a strong snow storm that hit Ft Bragg and forced me to hit the road by noon.  We all knew that this was Round 1 of a three part storm.

On Wednesday, Round 2 hit harder than the first day.  In our little town the roads were covered with white chaos within 20 minutes.  In the time it took us to get extra provisions from the store our car was covered in snow.  It took my neighbor 90 minutes to go from the store to our subdivision - a trip of three miles. 

When the weather turns bad here the only option is to go home and stay there until you think the main roads are passable.  Lacking any serious snow moving equipment, the towns and counties in North Carolina rely on Mother Nature to remove the snow for them.  This means it was 29* yesterday and it was 55* degrees today.  Yesterday the roads had snow on them and today the snow melted.   Since we average one significant snow storm here a year - One Per Year - it makes no sense to invest in plows. 

When the weather turns bad here life pauses.  Businesses close up.  Grocery stores shutter.  People seem to disappear altogether.  There are no adventurers out there.  Unless, of course, you waited too long at work and got caught on a major highway.  In that case, you were screwed.  People abandoned cars rather than wait for a rescue that may or may not have come.

When the weather turns bad here you are trapped inside with your family for the duration.  We were lucky and kept electricity throughout.  TJ and Grant played together and one their own without any issues and we managed to get over to grandma's a couple of times to let TJ have a change of scenery.  TJ and I even had a "camping" night as Round 3 - the ice storm - rolled through during the night of Wednesday to Thursday morning and we slept down stairs while the gas fireplace stayed on. 

By Thursday afternoon the roads were clearly passable but the neighborhood roads were a mess and with the drop in temperature into the twenties again, school was cancelled for Friday too.  Ugh.  Lisa and I both brought home our work computers so we were able to get some work done even though both Ft Bragg and the ARC were closed.  But, eventually, you run out of things to do.

All those little chores you have been putting off?  They finally get done.  Tupperware drawers get organized, clothes get folded and put away, the fridge gets cleaned.  And that's just the first two hours...

I am reminded that I do not miss the northern weather.  I feel for those people who stay there for one reason or another and have endured one of the worst winters in recent memory.  My heart goes out to them as one storm after another pounded them this year. 

All storms pass and we were greeted with sunny skies and warm temperatures today.  All in all - we made it.  The kids were good and our cabin fever didn't turn out to be that bad.  

The forecast next week calls for 78* and thunder storms.  Helloooo spring.

A First

Yes, it's been two months since posting...we missed updates on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's.  I just needed inspiration to sit down and write.

I ran my first 1/2 marathon last weekend in Charleston, SC.  This is a minor big deal.  Minor because I am already a runner.  I lace up and log in anywhere from ten to fifteen miles a week.  Twenty miles on a really good week and if I have my running partner, Ben Jackson, with me.  I have dozens of 5k and 10k races under my belt.  Fifteen years ago I could run much faster and could actually place in the top three finishers for my age group and always in the top ten percent of all runners.  So the idea of running was not the challenge.  The challenge was running for 13.1 miles, the farthest distance I ever ran.

I have given serious thought to running a marathon or half marathon for about ten years.  Lisa is my inspiration.  Knowing she has ran three full marathons I knew I had a goal to be like her.  However, like 99.95% of the country, I found one excuse after another not to try.

One year I had knee surgery.

One year I fought a nasty case of plantar fasciitis.

One year the boys needed watching.

One year I had no excuse at all.

This year looked like a repeat of years past.  

My venue was wherever the Seafarer Run A Kid To Camp team was racing.  The RAKTC program is an annual event where people who support Camp Seafarer raise money to send needy kids to camp in the summer.

As the 2014 Charleston Marathon approached, Lisa asked me if I was going to run.  My half-hearted  response left a lot of doubt in the air.  I needed to train.  I needed miles beyond my six or seven mile "long run".  Ugh.  Christmas rolled around and I still had not signed up.  New Year's practically sealed my fate.

I woke up on New Year's Day with a terrible toothache that only got worse and worse as the day progressed.  My dentist couldn't see me until the next day so he put me on Vicadin.  The next day came and I had to wait another day for an emergency root canal.  The pain was insufferable.  Sleep was elusive and running was out of the question.  On Friday I had some relief but more bad news, the tooth was split and could not be saved.  On Monday, January 5th, I had an emergency extraction.  Still in some pain, and still on drugs, there was no running in my future for another week.

Lisa was aware of all of this and stopped asking if I was running.  Besides, registration ended on January 15th and that was quickly approaching.  I should have bailed.  I could have with another excuse for another year.  Yet for some reason I didn't.  Not even after I tried to run the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday in the days before the race and returned after six miles with pain in my knees.

I don't know what I was thinking but I signed up for the race with 38 minutes to go before the close of registration.  So now I was committed but had no idea how I was going to run the whole race.  When I told Lisa she had her doubts.  She knew full well I hadn't trained.  She didn't like my bravado when I told her that if could run seven miles I could easily run six more.  I think she wanted to see me humbled - just a little.  In all honesty the only things I did to prepare for the run was carbo-load on Thursday and Friday and buy a new pair of Dr. Scholls inserts for my shoes.  Truly a self designed disaster in the making.

On Friday I drove to Charleston, SC with TJ, Grant, and Sam (straight off an airplane and right into the van) to meet up with Lisa and the rest of the RAKTC team.  We got there in time to say our hello's, get the next days instructions, and go to bed.

Race day I followed my usual race routine; hot shower, coffee, carbs, coffee, head to the start line.  The Charleston Marathon had over five thousand runners this year.  It was cold and the wind off the Charleston Harbor cut through layer of clothing.  Someone found the team a box of trash bags and we walked to the start line in makeshift windbreakers.  Imagine dozens of runners marching down the street looking like homeless people - in sneakers.

And then it got weird.

I was separated from the rest of the RAKTC team and immediately got lost in the growing crowd of runners.  I took a selfie, had someone take a picture for me, and then my phone turned off as if it died.  Oh no.  Thirteen miles without music?!  Turn on; oh please, oh please, oh please.  And it did - with 20 seconds to go before the start.  Running mix?  Check.  Attitude check?  Total confusion.

Why am I near the back of the pack and the pace says 4:30? 
Where is anyone from RAKTC?
When did I plan on stretching?

Go - and welcome to the start of the 4th Annual Charleston Marathon!

The Rolling Stones filled my ears as the crowd eased to the start line.  Several thousand crossed the start line before I did but once I crossed I was committed.  In the early part of any large race the course is jammed with runners of different paces and the faster ones keep looking for those spaces in the course to get going.  And so I found myself itching to break loose for the first mile or so.  And then I could open up just as Metallica's "Enter the Sandman" was crashing into it's solo.

I kept passing people holding pace cards; 4:30 - 4:00 - 3:30 until it dawned on me that 4:30 wasn't minutes and seconds but hours and minutes!  Duh.  Unlike my weekday runs, I did not use my running app that tracks pace, distance, and over all time.  All I had was my music.  It was like running blind because I did not see my first mile marker until Mile 8 and when I saw it I had no comprehension of time.  I saw Samantha at Mile 6 but had no clue it was Mile6 because she said she would meet me at Mile 8.

How long had I been running?  It felt like I was running slower than usual.  However my knees felt okay and nothing else was bothering me.  The wind was horrible.  My thighs (not my knees) began to hurt.  I was a afraid to stop to take off layers for fear of not being able to start up again.

I hit Mile 10.  The last time I ran ten miles was when Samantha was an infant and I ran the Army Ten Miler.  I felt good.  At Mile 11 I knew I could do the next two point one without having to stop.  At mile 12 I replayed some of my power songs and felt that surge of adrenaline.  In the home stretch - as everyone was clapping - I started shouting, "C'mon, I can't hear you!  Louder!" and the crowd responded.  I felt weightless and euphoric crossing the finish line.  I was under two hours - my goal. 

Lisa found me and hugged me.  The boys hugged me.  I found a bottle of ibuprofen.  I ate some bananas and drank some water before being overcome by chills to the point where I had to get indoors.  Someone brought hot Chik-fil-A sandwiches.  I ate two.  My legs started to tighten.  Most of the rest it a blur.  But not before I went to the results tent.

I went to the tent where they posted results; Richard Brown - Fuquay Varina - 1:46:56 - 8:09 per mile average - 29th in my age group and 371st over all - in the top 10%. 

Lisa got me back to the hotel where I showered for fifteen minutes trying to bring my body temperature back up.  I took a nap and then joined everyone for the post run dinner.  Remember - many others ran the full marathon.  Everything I went through, times two.  There were stories of support, of love and friendship, and the challenge of facing 26.2 miles.

I can see why people don't want to run marathons or half marathons.  It's intimidating.  It intimidated me for years.  Running can be brutal both physically and mentally.  Distance, endurance, speed; in the end there is only one person you are racing against.  You.

We are (often) our own biggest obstacle to success.  Marathons, starting a business, going for that promotion, asking that special someone out for the first time.  Our fears paralyze us to the point of inaction.  And while I have conquered this one - and will run again - I know there are still other challenges I have yet to face.  Until then I have this victory to keep me company.