A Part of History

The Brown Family had a great honor on the day before Veteran's Day. I was asked to speak the Town of Fuquay Varina's Blue Star Memorial Marker dedication. While, I did the speaking - as a military representative - I made sure that my family was also included in my comments. I know I would not have had the career that I had over the last half of my service if it had not been for Lisa carrying the load back home.

The markers represent the service of men and women in uniform; part, present, and future. However, service is more than just the individual; it includes spouses, children, and parents. The whole military family makes a sacrifice when a loved one is in uniform. That is why I am glad Lisa and Sam were there. More so, Sam was in uniform; one of the few times we will get to be side by side in uniform.

This dedication was a small ceremony - a brief, bright spot in the town's history. However, its history nonetheless.  Perhaps someday, years from now, my grandchildren will come to visit Fuquay Varina with their parents. As they drive into town, Sam, or TJ, or Grant will say, "See that marker, Grandpa helped dedicate that marker. Grandma was there too."  

The truth is that I like speaking in public. I like speaking and saying things that audience wants to hear. It gives me a little rush and I tend to glow in the accolades (I might as well own this truth).  In this case, I referenced the topics of service, nation, family, and community - especially the community of Fuquay Varina.  

And I still look good in my uniform!

Setting the Bar

This fall two significant things happen in the family.  The first, Samantha became a commissioned officer in the U.S. Army. This was a huge milestone for her and for the family. The second, TJ beat me in a 5k Race; mine was the Run the Quay 5k and his was a Cross Country Track meet 5k.  This was a milestone for him, and for me.

These two events are significant because they have the same common theme; in both cases, my children surpassed my accomplishments. 

Samantha became a Second Lieutenant in the Regular Army. She graduated from a top tier university with honors, completed ROTC training, and pinned on her Gold Bars.  In every respect, at her age, she has accomplished more than I did at 24 years old.  I did not go on Active Duty, I did not go to a top school, and I certainly did not graduate with honors.  It is true that Sam has a long way to go to get to when I accomplished in my 33 years of service. However, she certainly has a good start to get there.

TJ is developing into a fine runner. As a freshman, he is already on a Varsity team and has improved on his performance to the point that he is finishing second or third on his team.  He is already ahead of where I was as a scared freshman in a new school. I did not try out for sports until my junior year. I never really improved on my performance. It is true that TJ has a way to go before he has as many medals and races under his belt as I do. However, he is certainly off to a good start.  

I have always set a high bar for my children.  I did the same for my ROTC Students.  The bar is not that high that it cannot be reached because I reached it myself.  The challenges that are laid in front of my children are meant to be achieved if desired. I suspect that Grant will not be a runner. However, there is a challenge for him to be smarter than me and his mom.  While some parents might be jealous or envious of their kids surpassing them, I feel just the opposite. There is a deep feeling of satisfaction when the people you love do better than you.  I stand atop the pedestal expecting to be knocked off of it. It affirms that the work you have invested has a dividend. It is a statement that both active and passive lessons have been learned, instilled, and synthesized to produce something better than the original. In other words, good parenting and role modeling.  

Our kids are watching us all the time and absorbing like sponges.  The good and the bad. The swear words and drinking. The hugs and high fives. The shouting and praise.   

I am a very happy dad.

The Runner

What a joy it is to watch TJ run on Cross Country for Willow Spring High School.  

TJ has always enjoyed sports but has never found a lot of success with games that require strong hand-eye coordination.  And, truth be told, he doesn’t put in the time to improve his performance either. Perhaps that’s a result of the small screen generation, or maybe I didn’t force him to go out and play more.  However, in running, he has the build and ability to run well.

As we ease out of Covid restrictions, schools are back in session which means that sports are back on.  TJ is now a Freshman at the new Willow Spring High School, just a mile from the house.  Willow Spring is unique because it only has Freshmen and Sophomore classes which the Class of ’22 and ’23 go to Fuquay High School as a cohort.  This uniqueness means that students get on almost any team they want to.  Not that this would have hampered TJ’s chances. He is a strong runner with a lot of talent. He easily holds his own against older runners.

TJ made the team and has been in two meets already. It is my personal challenge to watch and not to parent-coach him to try to improve his stride, push him harder, and challenge him.  Lisa reminds me that there are three more years of High School for him to find all of that. But I want him to find his competitive spirit. I want him to find the fun and personal reward in running. Eventually, I want to run a race with him, side by side.  

Yesterday he finished sixteenth place, well within the first quarter of the pack.  He pushed hard at the end and forced the runner in front of him - a senior - to break into a sprint in order to finish ahead. It was good to watch. He finished the 3k in about 13:14. 

There is a whole season ahead. We are urging TJ to keep up the fun runs with his peers. Running is TJ's niche, even if it just a hobby instead of a desire.