TJ is now a licensed driver in North Carolina and can drive on his own. Very few things should scare a parent more than a teenager with a license and a vehicle. I know that from the moment that he pulls out of the driveway until the moment he parks the car at home that I will worry.
From my younger years as a Trooper I have seen the results of accidents where teens were at the wheel. A common saying then, and now, "What's more dangerous than one teenager in a car? Two." According to the CDC, "accidents (unintentional injuries)" remain the highest cause of teen mortality. As a parent you spend a decade and a half protecting your kids from the things that can harm them. You baby proof the outlets in the house. You watch them on the playground before they climb too high. You don't let them play in the driveway without making sure they don't chase a ball into the street. With some kids, watching them is a full-time job. Then, one day, your legacy, your future, your progeny can go out on their own in a car. You ask yourself if you have done enough to prepare them, and the answer is usually, "No."
When TJ started driving, I was the main parent who sat next to him. for the most part I remained cool and collected. One time while we were driving on I-40 to the beach I noticed we were going fast but I couldn't see the speedometer. I casually asked TJ how fast we were going. With his hands at the "ten and two" position he quickly glanced down and back up and said, "85." I gently, but firmly suggested that he back off to about 75mph. I have only had to yell twice, with one of those times scaring him because he failed to see the car coming at him that he was about to pull out in front of. He was sacred enough that his eyes welled up - despite him trying to brush it off with, "Dad, I got it." Again, have I done enough to prepare him?
Lisa, ever the smart one to leverage technology, found an App that tracks all of the family members but more importantly, gives the speed at which people are driving and notifies you if there is an abrupt stop indicating a crash. Now we can track TJ behind the wheel and hold him accountable when he returns home. I know there are video cameras and other technology we can add to the car for both safety and accountability.
It will take a couple of years before TJ has the confidence of driving; driving in the dark, rain, heavy traffic, and long distances. His confidence will be commensurate with my anxiety easing up - but never really going away.
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