Parenting Fail, Las Vegas

The last day of our Spring Break trip we decided to take the kids to Las Vegas to see The Strip.  The boys liked Ocean's Eleven and Thirteen and wanted to see the hype of Vegas - having no real idea what the place is really about - in person.  In our naiveté and stupidity Lisa and I thought, how bad can it be?  Walk South Vegas Boulevard, see the lights, look inside a casino, watch the fountains of the Bellagio, and go back to the hotel.  

Easy, right?

The last time I was in Las Vegas was in 2004. The time before that I was 13 years old.  In 2004, I walked The Strip for hours. I went into The Venetian, Paris, Caesar's Palace, and The Bellagio staring in wonder and amazement of the temples to gambling and excess. It was truly spectacular and I don't remember it being that crowded or intimidating. 

Around 5:30pm our driver dropped the four of us off at New York, New York, a casino to everything NYC. We walked into the casino onto S. Las Vegas Blvd and into the largest gathering of people I have seen since the Disney Marathon in 2020. It was a sea of humanity.  The first thing we saw was two women dressed up as Vegas Showgirls, complete with the feather headdress and opulence.  They were also ONLY wearing thongs and tiny coverings over their breasts.  At first I thought they were some kind of Las Vegas ambassador team but I quickly realized that for $20 you could get a picture taken with them.  I also learned that these two were the most clothed out of all the women on The Strip offering to take pictures. Welcome to Vegas.   

Nonetheless, I did my best to embarrass TJ every time we walked by women in their underwear.   

Our failure quickly became apparent. Las Vegas allows open alcohol containers and smoking is ubiquitous. Marijuana is also legal now and the smell rolling out of the cannabis shops was overwhelming.  Finally, the streets were packed with the kind of people who are attracted to open alcohol, pot, gambling, and scantily clad women - and are willing to ignore any Covid safety measures.  All those people and the few sets of parents who didn't think Las Vegas would be that crazy.  Poor Grant - at 5' tall all he saw for the next three hours was boobs, butts, beer, and Bozos - and not in a good way; he might be permanently scarred against ever visiting Las Vegas again.  

We walked through the shops in Caesar's Palace and up to The Venetian but, honestly, it was too crowded, too expensive, and too meh to enjoy it.  Las Vegas looks good in pictures and movies and not in person.  

We did stop at The Bellagio to watch the fountains while sirens blared just down the street. You can watch the awesome show by clicking HERE! I looked around and realized the Las Vegas is Walt Disney World's evil cousin. Both artificial worlds are full of spectacle, eye candy, and simplistic American themes and values. Both are focused on a certain type of entertainment and geared for certain types of people.  

Of the two, in Las Vegas, The Brown Family was clearly not where we belonged.  

Spring Break 2021: Bryce Canyon

Bryce Canyon National Park.  If Zion starts at the bottom and goes up, then Bryce Canyon is the opposite, you start at the top and go down. The drive to Bryce Canyon is easy. Once you drive through the mile long Zion-Mt. Carmel tunnel and drive through the east side of Zion you depart the east entrance Zion and take state roads for about two hours to Bryce Canyon. Rolling hills and mountains in the distance make for a pleasant drive. In fact, driving over hills and around curves through canyons and tunnels was a great fun. As we drove into Dixie National Forest we drove through a tunnel that was clearly an inspiration for the animated movie Cars. 

We got to Bryce before sunset with enough time to stop and take pictures before heading to the rental house in Tropic, UT. We parked at Sunset Point and walked down a Briscoe Pine lined sidewalk until opened out onto a theater like experience with all of Bryce Canyon immediately below us. The visual effect was stunning. I heard TJ exclaim his wonder as he looked down. 

Bryce Canyon is full of hoodoos, tall spires of stone and rock that have been carved by wind and erosion over millions of years. The erosion left “windows” and “walls” among the many spires that looked like enormous sand castles.  The layers of rock reveal shades of reds, rusts, oranges, yellows, tans, and grays that are made to glow in the setting sun. 

Bryce sits about 3,000’ higher than Zion; the highest point being 8,300’ above sea level. The temperatures were an average of 20* cooler than Zion and there was snow still in the canyon to contrast the colors of the rock. Most of the next two days was red rocks, blue skies, white snow, and green pine trees. I am not sure how long it would take to get tired of looking at one amazing scene after another in Bryce but it never happened on our trip. 

Tropic, UT, is a one traffic light town that has the bare essentials for hikers and travelers who are passing through; a grocery store, a couple of restaurants, a gas station, and small hotels. We spread out in our rental home and made a good dinner and washed the dust from one National Park out of our clothes so we could add new dust into them. The clothes dryer was broken so we went old school and hung things up outside on the line with clothes pins. The wind and the dry air had everything ready to take down in less than an hour.  

Bryce can better handle traffic so we went back the second day to hike from Sunrise Point down the Queen’s Garden Trail and over to the Navajo Loop Trail.  It was a day for long pants and several layers on top. We started off chilly but it warmed up into the low sixties by midday.  The trails are moderately tough because at 8,300’ you have less oxygen than you are used to.  Plus, although Bryce Canyon starts at the top, what goes down must go back up. Nevertheless, it was a spectacular morning.  Lisa played with her camera and boys marched ahead at their own pace.  Snacks of oranges and homemade GORP kept the blood sugar up until we made it back the lodge. 

After a full lunch we launched into the second hike of the day down the Tower Bridge Trail, named so for the massive hoodoo window that looks like the Tower Bridge in London. We heard and saw a Blue jay like bird and was befriended by a chipmunk who like our snacks.  The kids played in (and ate) the snow and Lisa and I hiked around to the back of Tower Bridge for a better look and angle. The hike back was overshadowed by a cranky Grant who had hiked enough, was tired of his brother and dad, and just wanted to be around mom – to the exclusion of everyone else.  

We still stopped at Mossy Cave on the way back to see thick icicles that remain in the “cave” year round because it never gets direct sunlight. We played and looked around for a little but the family was done for the day and needed to rest and reset.  Our hopes for a raved about BBQ joint were dashed by a 90 minute wait, no ribs, and average pulled pork <sigh>.  Grant invented a board game out of parts of another board game and we played that until TJ got sick. TJ started feeling ill no long after he ate the snow and spent the night heaving into a basket. Not the best end to a great day. 

The next morning we started out back to Las Vegas, stopping for one last hike to see some arches just outside to Red Canyon and Dixie National Forest.  Lisa got some photos and the kids explored ahead of us discussing Pokemon and who knows what. We kicked the dust off our shoes and headed back to Nevada.   

Spring Break 2021: Zion

We took what can be considered our first real trip with the boys for Spring Break 2021.  We visited Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah and had a great time. 

Years ago Lisa and I made a decision to use Disney as our go to vacation spot while the boys were young.  I remember what I was like as a kids being dragged through museums, parks, and to shows so my mom could give us “experiences”. What I remember most from those trips is my poor mom trying to wrangle two rambunctious boys who were mostly interested in if the place had video games to play.  Kids just don’t appreciate those things at young age. Yes, we have visited other places for a few days here and there; Washington D.C., Myrtle Beach, New York City, and Nashville; but those weren’t BIG adventures.  Now at 13 and 10, TJ and Grant are ready for some real life experiences.

I should pause here to note that in 1980 my mom packed an Oldsmobile Omega with bags and two boys, ages 13 and 10, and for the next six weeks embarked on a trip across the USA. We stayed in Motel 6s or with friends. We visited Chicago, Wisconsin Dells, the Corn Palace, Wall Drug, Mount Rushmore, Lake Tahoe, Yellowstone, Yosemite, San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, St. Louis and so much more.  It was an amazing adventure that I wish I had could remember in greater detail. Susan Brown was an incredibly brave mom.  Thanks mom.

We flew on a packed flight to Las Vegas and drove two hours to Apple Valley, UT for our visit to Zion.  We drove three miles down a dirt road, down a ravine, and onto a valley floor to stay in a “tiny home” where we could hear the coyotes howl at night and domestic bison were being raised nearby.  It had everything we need to make breakfast, get cleaned up, and get a good nights sleep. The boys loved it. 

Zion National Park is one of those treasures that can be visited in a day, but a real experience might take two or three days.  Unfortunately, the only traffic allowed into the park is the official shuttle and third party vendors. The latter costs about $40 per person and the former costs $1 per person but requires a very-difficult-to-obtain reservation (which we did not get). I’ll pay $120 one time to get into the park but not two times.

You enter Zion from the floor of the canyon with thousand foot red, orange, gray, and brown cliff walls on either side of you.  From there, most trails go up or hug the Virgin River.  We came prepared. Each of us carried a backpack with food and water and extra socks in addition to, hiking poles, three different cameras, sunscreen, and maps.  Off we went to the Emerald Pools, a not-too-hard trail to the back of a trickling waterfall and back down to the river.  It was still a little chilly so we topped off with coffee and hot chocolate before heading up to our biggest adventure, Angel’s Landing.  

Angel’s Landing is a rock prominence that rises 1500’ from the canyon floor. The floor of the canyon is about 4200’ above sea level making Angels Landing over a mile up.  Three sides of Angel’s Landing is sheer cliffs and the only access is a 2.5 mile hike around the back.  It is a steady hike of switchbacks ever going upward. After a few hours we were at a stopping point to have lunch and rest before we tried The Chains to the top. The Chains is a life affirming experience as you grip ¼” chain up a narrow rock path with 1200’ drops off either side. Needless to say, we all tried it, but only Lisa and TJ made it to the top.

We chose Zion and Bryce Canyon after watching a documentary on the two National Parks. Lisa and were drawn the majesty and absolute difference to anything we have seen in North Carolina – Grandfather Mountain, Hanging Rock, and Pilot Mountain included.  We were not disappointed.  The views were incredible. The stone, silent and still – and the sun tracing light and shadows, provided the spectacle. It was a reminder of the glory of God (and time, water, and erosion). 

No, we didn’t make it to The Narrows. The water was about 50 degrees and we were not going to return with rental gear the next day.  Zion is one of those parks that will be worth a second visit someday.  

Our first day concluded with a big dinner at Oscar’s Café in Springdale and a sunset in our canyon.  The boys, for their part, complained little and embraced the adventure as best they could. 

Thankfully, we have pictures, video, and this blog to help remind them.

 

 

When Your Kid is Cooler Than You (Part III)

It is always a pivotal moment when your kids surpass the ability you had at their age. These moments happen from time to time. When Grant was on two championship Town Sports Teams in one year, when I hardly did any Town Sports. When Sam earned a ROTC Scholarship when I did not get offered one.  Every once in a while there is a big one, like the one TJ accomplished last week.  

At 13 years old I had a terrific fear of heights; a fear I still have, but manage, at 53. To see TJ face a fear of heights and accomplish something truly amazing at 13, something most other people would balk at made me pause and admire him.  

TJ climbed Angle's Landing at Zion National Park.  Angel's Landing is a 1,500' foot tall stone formation that has sheer cliffs on three sides of it and a long sloping spine that rises on a forty-five degree angle around the back. The access to Angel's Landing is through the back, up a long winding steep trail.  After an hour or so of hiking you go up Walter's Wiggles, twenty-some-odd switchbacks at even steeper inclines until you are finally at the start of the real climb.  

The real climb is The Chains.  

Most average people can hike up to the start of The Chains because no "climbing" is required. However, the canyon floor of Zion National Park is at about 4,200'. The top of Angel's Landing is 5,790'.  At that altitude, a mile up, you are certainly getting a work out if live at an elevation of 327' above sea level. There is nothing really dangerous or challenging about the first part of the hike.

The start of The Chains is a broad, flat, multi-tiered rock that serves as a nice view point of the canyon below, a place to eat before going on up the trail, or a place to wait for people to return from the top of Angel's Landing.

The four of us hiked up from the floor of the canyon and the boys decided they wanted to try The Chains.  TJ, then Grant, then I passed a sign that stated 13 people have died doing this hike since 2010 and started hand over hand gripping 1/4" steel chain up the rock.  To be honest, the start of The Chains is not hard, the chain is there to help you pull yourself up the rock because there are no stairs.  There is also no fence, guardrail, or anything else to prevent a fall if you got near the edge.  If you focus it is easy to just keep going. Unfortunately, your focus is usually interrupted because the same chains that you are using to get up, someone else is using to get down.  There is teamwork among strangers and everyone seems to get where they are going.  Even Grant, who got 10 lengths up the chain (six more than he said he would do), and then abruptly turned around. Once he was safely back with Lisa, I headed back up to where TJ was waiting for me.  

TJ and I continued to head upwards.  At times I held on to the chain and looked over the edge to a 1,200' drop and then looked over my shoulder to see the other drop, just half a sidewalk's width behind me.  I kept TJ in front of me so I could see him.  It was intimidating. It was far more than I would have done at 13 years old, period.  Yet there was my son being a Rock Star.  We got about half way up and hit a small, open, flat area to rest.  TJ said he was ready to turn around and I didn't dissuade him.  I took his picture with the rest of the mountain behind him just to show everyone how far he went and how hard the whole climb was.  

The view was - without a doubt - stunning.  It was made more stunning by the realization that you had to earn it. No staircase or paved trail will ever be made to get to this vantage point.  

I wish I had gone to the top, but this was TJ's moment so we hiked back down to Lisa and Grant.  TJ acted nonchalant about how far he went so Lisa asked TJ to take just five more steps than I went, just to say she went farther.  TJ shrugged and turned back uphill.  They were gone for 90 minutes and I knew exactly what happened.  They went to the top. 

Without pushing him, Lisa just kept asking if they could climb a little higher. To the next tree, the next stone, the next resting point until they were at the summit. Lisa really wanted to go to the top ever since we learned about this dangerous and exciting hike and I am happy she did it, but it was TJ's victory.

It's a proud moment because I tell grown adults about Angel's Landing and they say it is a hard pass for them. It's a proud moment because decades from know TJ can always brag that he went to the top of Angel's Landing at 13 years old...and his dad didn't.  It's a proud moment because I know I wouldn't have done it if given the opportunity at the same age.

We made a video of the climb using the GoPro strapped to my head.  Click the link here and you can see some of the best parts of the hike and, of course, The Chains.  Pay attention to the 6:30 mark when I look over the side of the cliff.

TJ has played this whole event off. He is seemingly unfazed by his accomplishment. But I know. I know.