Good Choices

TJ has been slowly entering the dark, moody, confusing territory that is adolescence so when bright rays of goodness show through they need to be shared.  

Puberty (pre-puberty in this case) is difficult, even with a  good kid like TJ.  There are moments when he is sullen and combative.  He talks back to his mother, antagonizes his brother, and ignores me.  He is trying to figure his way from being a boy to being a young man.  

This period is full of bad choices and decisions.  However -
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."

The other day we had an instance of good judgement.

TJ went off on his bike with his friends on a beautiful Tuesday evening.  We are fortunate to live in a neighborhood where the kids can take off on their bikes and be safe; someone always appears to be watching out for the general welfare of South Lakes.  And when they do see something amiss they post it on Facebook for a good public shaming.

TJ went off with his friends with a hard-time of 6:45 to be home for dinner.  The buddies he hangs out with are good kids so when TJ came home early I was a little confused.  He initially shrugged it off saying he just didn't feel like hanging with them.  A little while later he came to me and said that he made a good decision.  He said that the boys wanted to enter the new High School that is under construction right next to our development.  He said he knew it was wrong to enter into the building and he left before they got caught.

It's a strange time in his life to navigate; live by your parents rules or follow the crowd.  TJ is slowly coming to the point where our rules and expectations are becoming his.  Yes, there is a long way to go between 12 years old and manhood but he is off to a good start.

 

Spring Break 2019

We have crossed the line where Disney is our only destination for vacations.  After years of wrangling TJ and Grant and overcoming their exuberance of wanting everything in any gift shop they come upon we felt it was time to go on a vacation to a destination that didn't include roller coasters or water slides or themed characters.

Lisa booked an Air B&B near Howard University in Washington D.C. and we drove up with Betty to tour the Capitol for three and half days.  We could not have asked for better weather, better behavior from the boys, or better opportunities to see some truly special sights.

 

We arrived on Sunday afternoon and took the boys down to Ford's Theater - 154 years to the day that Abraham Lincoln was shot there - and to the National Mall just to see the sights and let them "get their sillies out" after a long drive up I-95.  DC is full of school trips this time of year.  There were hundreds of High School and Middle Schoolers all over - clearly something we had not planned on.  Washington is also awash with electric, motorized, scooters that people rent to get around.  TJ - clearly drawn to a new 'thing" had to be pulled away from them often. We got up close to the Washington Monument and the World War II Memorial before heading back to the house for dinner. 

On Monday, we went to the National Archives to see the nation’s founding documents; The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. The military is allowed special access and when we arrived we were ushered into a tour group that had space for five more people!  We saw an original copy of the Emancipation Proclamation - rarely viewed by the public - made available because of the anniversary of Lincoln's assassination. Walking into the rotunda we were a small group in there before the doors opened to the public. 

There is awe seeing those documents.  I have not viewed them in over 30 years.  I saw them - this time, for the first time since I took my oath of office as an Army officer.  Hard to imagine that I have waited until the end of my career see the document(s) I have sworn to defend with my life. 

Grant, always the clown asked the docent where the Declaration of Independence was signed.  The docent was an eighty-something year old retiree and an expert on these documents - very stoic and reverent.  He replied, "Yes, in Philadelphia."  Grant corrected him, "No, at the bottom."  And his parents groaned. 

I do believe that the boys understood the importance of what they saw and I hope they return some day as men to see them again, only with a greater understanding of their importance.

We hustled over to Senator Thom Tillis' office for a guided tour of the capitol building.  Our guide turned out to be the brother of a Fuquay Varina, NC police officer.  We took a cool "subway" ride under the senate office buildings to the capitol.  It was much like Disney's People Mover - maybe there are rides after all.  

We took some great pictures from the House Majority Leaders patio, inside the rotunda, the old senate chambers, and of lots of statues. 

 

We had a great dinner with Lisa's cousins, Eileen and Kathleen downtown before calling it a night.  We walked over 9 miles with another full day in the morning. 

On Tuesday, we took a tour of the White House with my former ROTC student, now a Major in the Army.  She was able to get us into the Eisenhower Executive Office Building.  It is a fantastic piece of living history that houses the former offices of the Secretary of War and the podium that JFK gave his inaugural address from and well as the current office of the National Security Council. 

The boys got spoiled by a Navy Master Chief who runs the Navy Mess for the White House.  She gave them a case of Hershey's Kisses and M&Ms with the presidential seal on them.  Give a kid chocolate and you make a friend. Give a kid a crate of chocolate and you make a memory for life!

On Wednesday, TJ and I took a "destination run" down the National Mall and up to the Capitol Building. That is a memory we will always share and he can tell his children some day, "Hey, I ran on this road...with your grandfather," extending a long running family joke (pun intended). 

We also spent the day in the Smithsonian Museum of American History and the National Portrait Gallery.  The boys showed respect in seeing the Star Spangled Banner, and stood on a section of the Mother Road, Route 66 and Lisa gawked at the presidential portraits and the peculiar portrait of Michelle Obama. 

In the afternoon we visited the Korean War Memorial, Lincoln Memorial, Vietnam Veteran's Memorial and World War II Memorial. While Lisa made the most of the lighting to use her camera, we tried to explain the importance of these places in a context that would make sense to the boys. War monuments and statues are just things to see without the stories behind them, even if they are told at the surface level as you walk by them. This vacation was about giving the boys an appreciation for our history and I believe they took away the important part.  

In the evening, Lisa took the boys on a night bus tour of the city while I attended to some business.  I finished early enough to go down to the Jefferson Memorial after dark but still busy with dozens of tourists.  It was my first visit to the Jefferson Memorial and it didn't disappoint me.  Jefferson looms large, looking out over the Tidal Basin surrounded by his most important works.  I discovered that Jefferson believed the Constitution was a living document, stating, "As new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change with the circumstances, institutions must also advance to keep pace with the times." Well, I learned something. 

On Thursday we packed up, cleaned up, and drove across to Virginia to visit with Lisa's friend, Tina.  They were roommates at USD and Tina was the maid-of-honor at our wedding.  The kids played for a hour or so while they caught up and then we hit I-95 south past Petersburg, VA, and a quick right hand turn on I-85 to pick up Samantha for Easter break.

A week later and we are still reflecting on the things we saw and did.  TJ was watching one of his favorite shows, "Madam Secretary" and looked for places in DC on the show where he was.  I am glad the kids can say, "I was there!" with enthusiasm.  I am glad the kids got to share the trip with their Grandmother, who loves the tradition, the majesty, and honor of the nation's capitol.

Good trip.

So This Happened

This happened today - I love my kids and I love our blackboard messages to one another. 

The A-Pollen-Oclypse

This is life in pine country.

It is pollen season in North Carolina.  Pollen season is when the air is full of ‘dust’ - pine pollen - and it covers everything in a fine coating of yellow.

When it rains it washes the cars off, but the pollen doesn’t wash away.  It merely goes to where water pools or runs off creating odd yellow lines on the ground.  It also floats on the water creating a layer on our pond that can be seen from the back porch.

It is also the time of the year when the weather gets nice enough to open the windows in the house.  This creates a constant battle of cleaning and dusting inside the house.

It affects TJ the worst right at the beginning of the season.  His eyes get red and he sneezes uncontrollably.  Thank goodness for Claritin. 

At least it is not snow. 

All the 50-Somethings Are Doing It

You're over 50 and at your next visit to the doctor he says it is time for "The Talk".

"It's time for a colonoscopy," he tells you.  He doesn't ask.  In fact his office makes the appointment for you so you can't let it conveniently slip your mind.  And just like that you are on your way.

The process begins by going to the pharmacy and picking up a small box of "bowel prep" medicine meant to clean your insides.  Once you open the box you breathe a sigh of relief that half of the box contains a 16 ounce plastic cup.  The rest of the box holds two 6 ounce bottles. You are oddly relieved that entire box didn't contain "prep" solution.

The good news is that the medicine works pretty effectively. By the time the second bottle does its job you are certain that you are clean. Trust me on this one.  The hardest part of the preparation is not being able to eat from about noon the day before and having to skip the morning cup of coffee the day of.

The day of the procedure is a lot less worrisome than you can imagine.  Within 30 minutes of checking in you are in a gown in a bed going through several dozen medical questions with the nurse.  The doctor comes in and reassures you that preempting colon cancer through early detection is important.  He describes what he will do if polyps are discovered. He gives you percentages and averages in 50-Somethings.  Then he is off to the next patient, repeating the script he has recited thousands of times.   

You anesthesiologist comes in next and describes the sedative that will be used and the after effects. Nothing in his script is any cause for concern either.

The anesthesiologist rolls you into the room. The room is at least 10-15 degrees cooler than the prep room.  They make you lie on your side and you see the banks of monitors and a big clock on the wall. You notice that since you checked in at the front desk only an hour and a half has gone by - with very little anxious waiting in those ninety minutes.  

You hear the doctor over your shoulder in a disembodied voice talking about the procedure.  He checks your name and date of birth one last time. The anesthesiologist tells you he is going to put you out and attaches a big syringe to your IV.  If you think of it, thank everyone in the room because you are never going to see them again.  Watch the second hand on the big clock; 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3...

The next thing you know you wake up in the recovery room.  Be careful what you say next because you are still groggy and the words you first utter may haunt you.  Especially if your beautiful wife is sitting there waiting for you to wake up.  You get to pass gas and then they sit up and give you an icy cold Coke. You glance at the clock on that wall; only 40 minutes have gone by since you tried to count down to zero. Again, a disembodied voice from the doctor tells you that you are clear, no polyps, and that you do not have to come back for another ten years.  

Ten minutes after that they are rolling you out to your car, where your lovely spouse is waiting for you.  Next stop, food and coffee!...and furniture shopping?!  With a good nap in the afternoon you are back to normal by dinner.

______________________________________________

Lisa asked me if I was nervous or anxious and I said, "No."  That is because I knew that the only person in this entire process who was doing the colonoscopy for the first time was me.  I trusted in the doctor, anesthesiologist, and nurses who have done thousands of these procedures in their careers.  I was pretty certain that there would be zero pain (there wasn't), very little discomfort (there was none), and that the idea of someone sticking a flexible camera up your ass is more in the mind than it is at the other end (it is for some people).  I gave myself over to the professionalism of the medical staff much as I do airline pilots, tax preparers, and Jump Masters.   

I cannot stress enough how my colonoscopy was a short, easy, and painless procedure that gives me peace of mind.  Remember, my dad had this cancer. Colon-rectal cancer is the third most commonly diagnosed cancer and the second leading cause of cancer death.  Early detection is critical because the 5-year relative survival rate for Stage 1 and Stage II colon cancer was 90%; the 5-year survival rate for patients diagnosed at Stage III was 70% and Stage IV was 12%.

 So please:

Ignore the anxiety and checked out!