Before TJ Turns Three

TJ's third birthday is just about a week away. But before we leave this age of 2, I need to make sure that I record a few things that have been wonderful about this year. I know parents say this a lot, but as TJ grows and develops I find myself saying, "this is the perfect age!" and then he gets a bit older, and I say it again, "no, THIS is the perfect age". So I guess in all of this I am saying that I am enjoying every stage of TJ's growth and find the joy, the humor, and the delight in it all. I do look forward to what Three brings us, but for now, here are a few things that make me love TJ at 2.5 years of age.

TJ is about 90% potty trained-- and it was really much easier than I expected. TJs teachers at child care said, "TJ is just one of those boys you just have to put in underwear and he will learn and adjust." So we did just that. . . and three days later, there were no more accidents at school and only a few at home. A week later and he was dry during nap time and bed time. Two weeks later and he is telling us when he has to go. Of course there have been some laughs along the way. For instance, when we first started saying "no" to diapers and "yes" to big boy pants, there was the occasion he found a spare diaper, ran, grabbed it and gave it a big loving hug! Apparently he was not quite ready to give them up!

We also used the m&m reward as a strategy for our potty training. He gets so tickled when he pees or poops or toots in the potty he rushes over to the bag of m&ms and says "whoo hoo, I pee potty! I m&m." And of course our favorite is when we are in public and TJ feels so free to announce his successes to his daddy quite loudly. Sigh. Oh well, what can we say. Our child is proud and we are proud that he is doing so well.

But my favorite potty training moment was when even mommy got rewarded. There I was sitting on the potty. TJ asked me what I was doing. I told him the obvious, "mamma is going potty." He got a big smile on his face and said, "mamma on the potty. Mamma gets an M&M!" and rushed off to our stash and brought me back my reward. Thanks, TJ.

TJ has also reached another milestone of sorts: he no longer sleeps in a crib. We removed the front "wall" of his crib a few months back. And while he is excellent at staying in his bed when it is time to go to bed, we have not yet been successful in teaching him to stay in his bed when he wakes up in the morning. His 2.5 year rationale is that the "sun is up" so everyone else, therefore must get up too. 5:45, 6:00. . . what have you, in runs TJ. "Wake up, mommy. Get out bed. Sun up!" Ugh! Those are early mornings for us. He has even been known to pull the covers off of me in effort to get me out of bed.

TJs language development has really improved over the past few months too. He is trying to say more words and have a conversation with his mom and dad. And of course, this is where things get really cute, because as we all know, kids say the darndest things.

TJ is now, for some reason calling dad "Rich". We are not yet at the point where "Lisa" replaces "mom", but my theory is that the "L" sound is still to hard to use on a regular basis.

TJ has also developed a love for anything Disney. Of course given all of our trips down there and our love for the place too, we shouldn't be too surprised. He is tickled pink with the "wicky witch" from Snow White and even the "wicky witch" from the musical "Wicked". He is also fascinated by the "sea witch" from The Little Mermaid. At school he knows all of the Peter Pan characters even though he has never seen a Peter Pan movie. He can recognize the "Disney" logo at the drop of a hat. And loves "circle" (circle of life) from the Lion King. He even tries to sing along.

And TJ has now entered into the "why" stage. "Why mommy, why?" he asks. As of now he seems content with my short answers, but I can imagine that will change over time too.

We are blessed to have such a good natured little boy who has two speeds: off and on. He is high energy, quick to laugh, and goes with the flow. I am excited to continue marveling at the little boy he continues to become as he turns a year older next week.

Found

There are reasons why "guys" don't like to write about there feelings. It's not because they aren't good at it. It's because men are usually so closed off from those emotions that when they tap into them it A-L-L comes gushing out; and that's when it can sound silly.

Nonetheless.

I have spent most of the day in teary awe of the end of the show, LOST. Even if you don't know what the show is about you can appreciate the deep meaning behind an long arcing, existential show that in the end leaves us, the audience, to discover that our cast has died. However, not died in a mournful way. No, they roam life (such as it is) in purgatory until they find one another, and in finding one another remember their friends, their loved ones, their family. And once the group is reunited in a "place they built to find one another," they move on into a bright white light. Not mournful at all - beautiful.

I was (and still am) shaken to my core. Yes, this is death and this is heaven. When you die you are eventually reunited with the ones you love and shared life with. They wait for you and welcome you with open arms. Yes, of course.

My core is not shaken over the show, although it was emotional to see characters - once dead - back with their friends. (Although, yes, it was a head trippy television event that will not be repeated for years to come.) Those are emotions that I can get over or dismiss in the machismo of stoic behavior.

No, I broke down today in the thought that in the end I will be reunited Samantha, TJ, mom, and dad; that I will get to see old friends again and that I will remember them.

Lisa. I used to think that my death would be a lonely one. I used to think that whatever was on the other side wouldn't be able to offer my much more than my children and my parents until Lisa came into my life. Lisa saved my soul as much as she saved my existence on this earth. She gave me another chance at love and enabled me to find my honor and forgive myself of my sins. Only her love could do that. And I am forever indebted.

I think I have lost sight of how amazing that love is in the middle of new jobs, a move, building a house, career progression, the end of a tour in Iraq; and maybe I took it all for granted. That is until last night and the thought of ever losing her in this life only to find her again in the next one, or going ahead of her knowing how sad she'd be until we met again.

Just like that - crash - the emotional flood gate opened.

I love my wife. If you ever see her, you can tell I said so.

I was lost until she found me.

It's A Lot

Look for a picture here soon!

It will be of an empty lot (number 199) with trees in the background, and if the angle is just right, a glimpse of the tiny pond that will complete our backyard. On this lot is where we are building our home. By late August there should be a house with grass, and shutters and people living in it; the Brown Family.

For the past few weeks we have looked at houses and decided to build instead of buy an existing home. The process of looking for a house with a partner who can be capricious at times is a bit annoying. Okay, its a lot annoying. I could have picked two or three houses from the fifteen we saw. Lisa, on the other hand, found one reason or another to question a final decision. I decided for my sanity and our marital bliss to take a step back until Lisa could narrow it down. Finally, she stopped in a new development that I drive by on my way to work everyday. She did the research, brought home a some plans, and put forward a good argument to build. Dollar for dollar, square foot by square foot it's about the same to build as it is to buy built.

But for now it's a lot - but not too much - I couldn't pass on the double meaning there. Its a lot to get your head wrapped around. It's a lot to think about all of the decisions that go into a building a house; color schemes, lighting fixtures, carpet choices, cabinet stain and drawer pulls. Where will the furniture go? What about window treatments? Considering the aforementioned capricious nature of my wife - this could take a while.

Building in a new community going in from the ground up also has its challenges. There are no homes on the right of left of us right now, but there will be. In fact, there will be construction on our street for the next twelve to eighteen months. And I mean, left, right, and across the street from us. I imagine that our place will look like a little oasis amidst all of the other places in various forms of being built.

This house will fit us well as we grow into it over the years. Its not too big as to get lost in the house and its not too small where everyone is on top of everyone else.

We'll keep you posted as things move along.