Teenagers! Aaughh!!

Scientists tell us that the brain of an adolescent child is actually being "rewired" though the difficult and awkward years of puberty.

I need to remind myself of that when dealing with Samantha. I mean on the surface, what an awesome kid; honor student, athlete, musician, good looking. However, half an inch under that skull - maybe its thicker than that - all hell is breaking loose.

For example; while Samantha is at Camp she spends a lot of time on the water sailing. In order to get to the water she needs to wade into the Neuse River. Now, last year she cut the bottom of her foot because she did not wear river shoes, so this year we offered to get her a pair of crocs. She confidently declined stating that she would wear her Sperrys. Except she didn't. Guess what happened last week? She cut her foot in the river. Why? She didn't learn her lesson from last year. Guess what she did the very next day - the VERY NEXT DAY?! She cut her other foot in the river. Teenagers!


That's a less-than-complicated example. The more complicated example has to do with telling whoppers of lies for the edification of others. Did you know that my daughter has told her FaceBook friends that she jumps outs out of airplanes with me and my paratroopers?! And it turns out that she is putting together a jump for all of her friends to come to Ft. Bragg and jump with me too! Ugh, teenagers!


I am not going to try to rewind my tape thirty years and try to remember what I was like at 14. I am sure that I was goofy too. More so, probably. The frustrating part about - well, okay, there are several frustrating parts - is that Samantha is very cool without the fabrication. She sails, she shoots, she goes on trips, she has opportunities and two successful parents, and she is loved by everyone; so why invent more than that? The other frustrating piece is that I don't know if she will listen to good, solid parental advice. We see so much looking back over our life's experiences that we implore our children to do the right thing and avoid the mistakes we made.

However, live is experiential and has to be lived as opposed to taught and learned. And if that means getting your feet cut a couple of times, well, that's what it might take. Ugh, teenagers - love 'em.

When Your Kid is Cooler Than You (Part II)

TJ is four years old and has grown both physically and in his confidence over this summer. Watching him leaves me in awe because he is doing things that I would never do or could never do at his age. When the summer began TJ was most certainly a non-swimmer and wasn't willing to jump into water that was over his head even though his mom and dad were there and he was wearing a swim vest. We took some solace in the knowledge that we could get him lessons and he might learn something at camp. But still, in mid-May, when the pool opened, it seemed we were destined for the shallow end of the baby pool. Daring TJ to go down the blue slide was met with a loud and firm, "No WAY!" That was two months ago. It began when TJ wanted to jump into the deep end of our community pool - with his swim vest on, of course - after the six year old neighborhood girl did it. Within a week TJ was a run and jump master. A week or so after that, with no fanfare, TJ announced that he wanted to go down the slide. Up he went, down he slid. Over and over again. By the time Samantha came into town he showed no fear around the water. (Of course there was always at least one set of eyes on him at all times.) As his confidence grew we began to put more challenges in front of him. We took off his swim vest and let him jump into water over his head and paddle a few stokes to us. He made cups with hands and learned to kick, kick, kick. With Camp now in full swing, it was possible that he would learn a few strokes before the end of the summer. By early July, TJ was a water playing fool. When he was at Camp, the sitters would take him to the swim lake where he'd jump in, get lessons, go down the "otter slide" and watch dozens of other kids play, dive, and blob into the water. He especially watched Tucker, our friends son who learned to swim at two years old. Then he asked his mom if he cold jump off of the diving board; a three foot off the water diving board. Then last week TJ did to things that absolutely amazed us. The first thing was while we were playing at the swim lake. TJ saw the boys jumping off of the blob platform, a twelve foot tall tower used to perform high dives and access the blob. I looked at him and immediately thought, "He's bluffing. There is no way he would jump off of that." I decided to call his bluff and we walked over to the stairs and he proceeded to climb up. Once on top he walked over to the edge, looked over, and told me to count down from three. We held hands, counted backwards while I was still thinking that he was going to pull back at the last second. And I would be wrong. He stepped into space and shook hands with gravity with no hesitation. We hit the water and bobbed back up. His eyes were wide. He wanted to do it again. And we did. When Sam joined in and jumped too, well that sealed it. I stepped back and took the moment in; my child was doing something I wasn't brave enough to do at four years old. I know I'd brag about this to family and friends - and I did. TJ was so amazing at that moment. The second thing he did was pass his beginner swim test; a 100 foot swim in water over his head, unaided by a swim vest. We thought it was a nice gesture on the part of the swim lake staff but we were convinced that he couldn't do it. And we would be wrong for the second time of the day. TJ paddled and kicked and kept going and going. Lisa and I looked at each other with the same look; "We under estimated him." I didn't learn to swim until I was maybe eight or nine years old so to see TJ do this left his mom in tears of pride and his dad with a puffed up chest. When you watch your kids grow up in front of you and achieve more than you did at their age; that's cool.