Krispy Kreme Challenge '13

Imagine running 5 miles with 8,000 complete strangers and your friend.  Most races are like that, lots of anonymous people all bent on beating their own personal records, in various forms of physical ability, where you might know only a couple of runners.  However, typical road races are most always fun; lots of camaraderie, running stories both pre and post race, and for whatever the distance is - a sense of community from start to finish. 

Ben and I Before The Race

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is not a typical road race.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  And while I have been chased for three miles by zombies, and plan on a 5k "challenge" run in the summer, and ran the Army Ten Miler, this particular themed race is different.  Quoting the back of the T-shirt, "5 Miles, 12 Doughnuts, 2400 Calories, 1 Hour."  That's right, at the half way mark for the KKC you stop and eat a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts and then finish then next 2.5 miles with them churning in your belly until the finish.  All in under an hour.

My friend and running partner is Ben Jackson, one of the few adult friendships I really appreciate since I have moved to North Carolina.  Ben has kids close to my kids age, we go to the same church, drink the same beer, and generally share the same socio-political views.  Ben taunted me into entering this race and then started trash talking me on Facebook almost immediately after I signed up; just like any good friend would.

Starting on North Carolina State University the run goes down through Raleigh with it's halfway mark at the local Krispy Kreme.   We arrived an hour early and soon the crowd swelled to 8,000 runner and another 2,000 to 3,000 supporters.  Added to the early morning mayhem was that many participant - most NCSU students entered the costume event in the race.  Pac Man, Elvis, and UPS Delivery Guys all showed up as well as half a dozen college men in as little clothing and as much body paint as allowed by law.   It soon got so crowded that no one knew the race had started until the front cheered and the rest of us slowly began to  surge forward. 

I immediately lost Ben and began to tear through the jogging crowd by slipping to the outside and running on the sidewalk.  The first part of the run was going to be the easiest and fastest and I decided to get to the 2.5 mile point in a hurry.  A mile or so into the race I cut a corner and rolled my ankle bad enough to know that I'd need ice and ibuprofen later but not bad enough to slow down.

 

Born in Winston-Salem, NC, Krispy Kreme doughnuts are glazed culinary perfection - especially when they come right out of the oven.  The practically melt in your mouth.  When they are like that you can easily eat one and look to sneak that second one if no one is looking.

Coming around the corner there were tables lined for half a block with doughnut boxes stacked four or five high.  You grabbed a box and went to the parking lot of the Krispy Kreme and began to eat.  Of course to eat twelve doughnuts and still meet the hour time manners and etiquette go out the window.  You squish three or four together and either dip them in, or eat them with water to wash them down.  Only the most dedicated to "The Challenge" do it.

It took me a lot longer to eat my twelve than I expected.  I went with a mash of three, four times (instead of four, three time like Ben did) and it cost me time. 

The last 2.5 miles is not as hard as you might think.  All that sugar hits your system and you jolt back onto the course.

Until about half a mile from the finish.

And then you notice the weighty feeling in your gut and the sloshy motions it is doing.  God forbid you burp because it is the nastiest, vilest sweet smelling/tasting thing you can imagine.  So you slow down - even though you can see the finish line so you can finish without hurling. 

Crossing the finish line is like running into a mine field.  I never knew what a dozen doughnuts looked like after they had been eaten and then puked back up but now that I do I am good for life without ever having to see that again. 

But as I crossed I did look at the clock and it did read 59:17 (with time taken off at the start thanks to timing chip technology).  Challenge complete!

As I told Ben, "never again," he told me I might feel different about it in a few weeks and by next year will be ready to do it again. 

Probably not.  Before the race Ben and I joked that the Krispy Kreme Challenge was a dumb thing to do but probably not the dumbest thing we've ever done.  And although I didn't puke I wanted to.  I met the challenge, beat it, and am content to giving my spot to someone else next year.

Probably.