Coming to Know Each Other

One of my favorite things to say at this stage of my maternity leave is: "I am learning how to be a mom and TJ is learning how to be a son." You see, it is a relationship. We are learning from each other. I am better coming to know my son and at the same time he is better coming to know me.

At seven weeks, I am starting to see some patterns in TJ's behavior emerge. For instance, I have found that after TJ feeds he enters into a phase of activity. He is alert, he is ready to take in the world, and interact with things around him. This lasts between 30-40 minutes. Anything after that and he becomes cranky. It's almost as he gets over stimulated and he is ready to shut the world out by taking a nap.

Trouble is, I have also learned that TJ does not like the thought of going to sleep during the day. He puts up a fight and lets me know that although he is tired, he is not too keen on closing his eyes. But eventually, he succumbs to the land of nod and sleeps for a good 45-90 minutes.

The nap period is where TJ is learning the most on how to best read his mom and dad. He has learned-- to some extent-- to soothe himself in the crib at nap time. We swaddle him, rock him for a little bit, place him in his crib, and turn on some sort of white noise (the fan, a CD of white noise music). And much to my surprise, he calms down and eventually nods off to sleep. I would not have predicted this behavior a couple of weeks ago, but at seven weeks, he is getting a hang of it. He is becoming a son.

After his nap, TJ is also in a good mood. This is the period of time that I have discovered he gives his best smiles. I love watching him and his dad interact after a good sleep. They play off each other really well. Just this morning, TJ and Dad were having quite a bonding experience. It was amazing to watch. TJ was fixated on Dad's face. Dad would say "hello" or sing a song, and TJ's face would light up. And this went on repeatedly for 5-6 minutes. Being witness to this morning's interaction, I would not be surprised if TJ learned to giggle in the next week. So here too, TJ is learning to be a son to his father. I love watching the relationship those two are developing.

We are all learning in relation to the other in these past seven weeks. It is through more time together and creating that sense of trust that we are really starting to understand how we operate, what works and what doesn't work. Simply put, we are learning to love each other and it is wonderful.

Another Milestone

The balance of sleep distribution in the house may have changed because TJ took his first bottle last night. Without getting into the details - why should I have to get up with Lisa if she's the only one who can feed TJ at night. Right?

Well, that all changed yesterday. Yesterday was the day we decided to try bottle feeding our son. Lisa had been pumping and saving milk so that I could take over at least one feeding a day as well as prepare for her return to work.

We had a plan.

We brought the milk to room temp and put it one of the several types of bottles Lisa bought. "This one simulates the actual breast!" We grabbed the bottles, the baby, and a blanket and headed upstairs where TJ and I were to be closed off from Lisa (Keep in mind that an infant can smell mom from 20 feet away). Lisa wished me luck and closed the door.

In my arms TJ was wailing away as I brought the bottle to his lips. Then he stopped crying, took a tiny taste, and then bore down on the "simulated breast". His eyes were wide open and that was the best part. There was a look of utter surprise and confusion as if to say, "hey, what the - you aren't supposed to be able to do this." He never broke eye contact with me the entire time.

Twenty minute later he was done with the milk but not the suckling, which usually puts him off to sleep. Thinking quickly I introduced a pacifier which did the trick. With a full tummy I wrapped him, burped him, and laid him in his crib.

Perhaps double feeding him (which we eventually wound up doing last night) is the key to a longer nights sleep for everyone. Of course it also means that I am now eligible to take care of that 3:30 am feeding.

Hmph...

Back At Home

I am home from two weeks away from the house, Lisa, and TJ.

For some reason the house always seems bigger than it really is when I return from a trip.

Lisa did an amazing job getting/keeping the house in order. She hung pictures, worked on the baby's room, and cleaned the fridge! Not bad when you are carrying an eight and a half pound wiggle worm all day. Samantha is off to camp in North Carolina.

However, Lisa did leave me some work; the lawn, which went for two whole weeks unmowed. That was a treat! (Then there is the whole issue of the garage door, but Lisa can explain that.)

TJ got bigger. Most noticeably around his head. Don't get the impression that he is a bobble head doll. It's just that his head got larger. He is longer too. He used to fit in the front carrier so that you only saw the top of his head. Now he is able to see out better.

He is still fussy at mid day, but a good walk last night kept him content.

The biggest change is in his new ability to smile! Two weeks ago I was working hard for an up turned cheek. Now he is able to smile a big, ear to ear, happy face grin! Getting him to smile like this is still w-o-r-k.

Last night TJ was up twice. Lisa woke me to swaddle him after he eat. For two weeks I slept uninterrupted - like a rock. Ahh, it's good to be home!